Cara
by CatChester
Summary: When Loki finds a shapeshifter in the forest around Asgard, he is intrigued and befriends her but as their bond deepens, her heritage poses problems for their relationship. Loki suggests she come to live with him in the palace but in her animal form, so only he knows the truth about her origins. Prequel to Cara Mia
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

My name is Cara. I have no last name because I have no parents. At least, none prepared to claim me. My mother was violated in war and I couldn't find my father if I tried, not that I had any desire to, because he comes from another world.

I am an outcast. I presume that I take after my mother in my height, facial features and skin colour. I take after my father with my black hair and the ridges that mark my skin. Those ridges also mark me as an outcast, for they are unique in all the nine realms and my father's race, the Jotun, or Frost Giants, are universally hated.

That is not an attempt to garner your sympathy, the Jotun literally have attacked and invaded (or tried to) all other 8 realms over the last few millennia. They are the bogeymen of the universe.

When I came to Asgard, I hoped things would be different from Vanaheim, where I was raised, but they too hate my father's people and thus, they distrust me. I've only met a few Asgardians but each and every one of them noticed my markings and viewed me with at best, suspicion and at worst, outright hostility.

There is one thing I inherited from my father that makes my life bearable, and that is the ability to shapeshift. It's a rare gift, not found at all in the Vanir and less than 1 in a million on Jotunheim, or so I've read.

When I am in animal form, not only does my body change but my mind does also. I can still think, read, do mathematics and understand what is said to me, but my thoughts are simpler, more primitive, making my mind quieter than when I am in my person form. I also have many of the instincts of the animal I take on; they aren't quite as strong as for the animal, and my normal desires aren't gone, just weaker, but life is easier with the brain of an animal.

My preferred form is the jaguar, because they are solitary creatures who, outside of mating season, live and hunt alone. They like solitude, which makes it much easier for me to live with being alone.

Of course, that changed when Loki found me one day. He had never seen a cat like me in Asgard and tracked me for a few miles. I knew he was there but he was good at tracking, far better than any person I'd met before and I couldn't seem to give him the slip. When he tried to block my path though, I thought he meant me harm and we fought.

Finally, injured and tired, he had me pinned with magic and a dagger raised, ready to deliver a killing blow.

I changed back, hoping to unnerve him and it worked.

"Who are you," he demanded, pressing the knife against my throat.

"C- cara," I stuttered, not only from fear, but because by then it had been a while since I'd had a real conversation with someone.

I could see his eyes tracing the ridges on my face.

"And _what_ are you?"

So I told him my story, haltingly and missing chunks out, but enough to make him drop his guard.

He finally got off me and I was surprised to realise that I missed the weight of him.

He sat on his haunches, ready to strike and I was suddenly aware that I was buck naked. I sat up, my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them and tried to look as non threatening as possible. I was raised by a religious order who took in orphans and while they had taught me a lot, fighting wasn't one of the skills they imparted. I had some instinctual skill as an animal but none as a person.

He questioned me for another hour then told me he had to return to the palace. I assumed he was a groom or guard, or some such. He told me that he would be back tomorrow and if I wasn't here, he would assume I was a spy, alert the guard and they would search the whole of Asgard and Vanaheim for me.

I felt I had little choice but to stay in the area and meet with him, unless I wanted to be hunted.

I was waiting by the edge of the forest, in my cat form the next day, and it was my turn to stalk him. I followed him to the place where he had caught me the day before and watched as he took a seat.

"You can come out now," he said, his voice at a normal volume. I wondered if he was bluffing or if he had known I was watching him.

He held the power in our interactions though, so I walked out from my hiding place, still in cat form.

"The way the light ripples over your coat as you move is quite beautiful," he said as I came closer.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't reply. I knew I should change back but I didn't know what to make of him yet. I couldn't become nervous in cat form but I was wary.

"Do you understand me?" Loki asked me.

I lowered my head in a simulation of a nod.

"Can you talk?"

I shook my head and issued a growl.

"Just animal noises?"

I nodded and sat in front of him, our heads were basically on the same level.

"Why don't you change back?"

I blinked.

"You don't trust me?" After a moment he laughed. "Well as much as I love the sound of my own voice, this will be a rather boring conversation."

I wondered what was best, stay in cat form and hope he left, or change back and converse with him.

I decided to change back because I hadn't had a friend since I left the orphanage, so I left him and headed into the bushes, emerging a few minutes later in loose clothes.

Loki smirked as I came back. "I must say, I preferred what you wore yesterday."

I glared and sat down opposite him. Neither of us said anything for a few moments, for my part, it was because I had no idea what to say to him. Finally he pulled a bag off his shoulder.

"I brought you some things." He passed the bag and after a hesitation, I accepted and began to unpack it.

He'd brought me bread, cheese, potted meat, a flask of something, some fruit and a few drawstring bags.

"Sweets," he said as I shook one and heard the contents rattle. "Hard butter candy, fondant shapes and chocolate covered almost paste."

I opened a random bag and found something brown. I sniffed it with suspicion but it smelled divine, so I ate it. I closed my eyes and moaned in appreciation as it dissolved on the warmth of my tongue. I'd never tasted anything like it before, we were well fed at the orphanage, but we had never been given anything like this.

When I opened my eyes, Loki was trying to suppress a smile.

"You like that, I take it?"

"It was lovely." Remembering my manners, I held the bag out towards him.

"Oh no, I could never take chocolate from someone who enjoys it that much. Besides, I can easily get more."

"Thank you." I smiled at him.

We continued to talk and he told me he would return the next day, and the next. Each time he brought me something, usually food, often more sweets.

I continued to stalk him from the moment he entered the forest and it became a game, whereby he would try to spot me before we reached our clearing.

On the sixth day, he brought enough for us to share a meal, a picnic he called it and to accompany the food, he had a flask of chocolate milk.

I liked that even more that the chocolate and almond.

I was slowly coming to trust him.

Our next picnic was a week later and he brought me ice cream, which we ate with berries.

"I have to get back," Loki said with a sigh after we had finished eating." A dark look crossed his face.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No," he sighed. "I have to help my idiot brother with something. Unfortunately, Thor is rather cerebrally challenged."

"Thor!" I repeated.

Loki rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "I suppose you want to meet him."

" _He's_ your brother?"

"Yes."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

"Not a brother-in-arms kind of thing?"

"No!" he snapped, growing angry with me.

I was on the verge of hyperventilating and I began to run.

"Cara? Cara?" He called after me and began chasing me. I changed into my cat form so I could run faster but I tripped on my clothes and fell to the ground. Loki landed on me seconds later.

"What the devil has got in to you?" Loki demanded, and I changed back.

"If your brother is Thor, that means you're Loki, Prince of Asgard!"

"Are you trying to tell me you didn't know that?""

"You never told me your name."

"I didn't?" he frowned. "My apologies. At first I intended to keep my identity from you, in case you were a spy but I didn't realise… Who did you think I was?"

"I assumed you were a guard, then maybe an advisor or something. I didn't know you were a prince."

"And now that you do, what of it?"

"I'm your enemy!"

"My enemy?"

"The Frost Giants!" I practically yelled, so keen was I to get away. "I've heard people talking and Thor has made no secret that he wants to wipe every single one of the Jotun out, single-handedly if possible."

Tears of frustration were leaking from my eyes.

"Hush!" Loki spoke firmly as he grew sombre. "It's true, the Aesir have no love for the Jotun but I swear, I won't let anyone hurt you, Cara, ever."

He brushed a strand of my hair off my forehead and suddenly I was scared for a different reason. He leaned closer."

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I'm about to kiss you."

"Why? I'm nothing but an orphan, and you're a prince."

"And you're beautiful."

He kissed me then, and I let him but when he pulled away, I was crying.

"Cara?"

I kept my eyes closed to hide my humiliation.

"Cara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, my Lord. Please continue." My voice was flat and emotionless.

With a hiss of irritation, Loki got off me.

"My apologies, I was under the impression that you felt the same as I."

I opened my eyes and looked into Loki's cool ones. Had a hurt him?

"I'll leave you in peace." He turned to leave but I couldn't let him go with bad feeling between us.

I ran after him and although I caught up and grabbed his arm, I couldn't stop him. I stopped chasing and hesitated for a moment, then stripped my clothes off, changed form and looped around, blocking Loki's path to the palace. I gave a huge roar, one that actually gave him pause and made him stop.

I changed back, sweeping my hair in front of my shoulders to at least try and retain some modesty.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness, I didn't mean to offend you. Please don't be angry with me."

"If I wanted you fawning over me, I would have told you to call me that," he huffed. "Now explain yourself or I'm leaving."

I stepped closer, twisting my hands both with nerves and embarrassment.

"Your H- I mean, Lo-" I had no idea what to call him so like for the last few weeks, I didn't call him anything. "I don't have much experience, and the only…"

I turned away, my cheeks burning with shame.

"While I worked at the church, I caught a parishioners' eye. He was nice to me, he talked to me the same way the nuns and brothers did, as if I wasn't a freak. I thought he liked me. Then after we… He disappeared. I waited for him in our usual places but he never came, he wasn't at church the next week and when he finally came back, I asked what was going on. Fool that I am, I'd been worried, I thought he might have been sick. He said he only wanted to know what it was like to fuck a Frost Giant and that I must be insane to think anyone would ever want anything more than that from me. He said he stood me up because he was trying to let me down gently."

I jumped when Loki's hands came to rest on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Cara," he said with feeling. "I'm not using you, I have no desire to sleep with a Jotun. I kissed you because I like you."

I didn't dare believe it was true.

"I also don't like this new, deferential air you have. I like the tigress that you are,

"But I'm a jaguar."

Loki chuckled. "It means a strong and fearless woman too." He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. "The man you met wasn't worthy of you," Loki continued. "The reason he stood you up was because he knew his actions were shameful, and he didn't want to face you. When you gave him no choice, he reacted in anger because he didn't want to admit how cruel his actions were, so he blamed you for his wrong." He kissed my shoulder again. "I will never hurt you, Cara."

"Thank you." I looked over my shoulder at him, still embarrassed being nude.

Loki leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips, but the angle was awkward and he didn't press for more. Part of me wanted him to but a larger part was glad that he wasn't taking advantage.

"I know you're uncomfortable, so you change back and I'll return again tomorrow."

"Thank you…" How did I address him?

"Loki."

"Thank you, Loki."

He smiled.

"And good luck with your brother."

"Thank you," he replied with a smirk. "Knowing Thor, I will need it."

I transformed into the jaguar and watched him walk away until he was out of sight.

* * *

Things were awkward between us for a few days, with me worried that he wanted to kiss me but also hoping he would, and I'm not sure what Loki was thinking. It soon became clear that he didn't intend to kiss me again and although I was disappointed, I was able to relax.

Our picnics became twice weekly after that, and Loki asked many questions about my life, both growing up on Vanaheim and what I did when he wasn't around; how I liked living as a cat, did I hunt for food, or steal it, things like that. It wasn't ideal, I didn't enjoy living rough, but I had far more freedom to visit new places and towns than when I tried to do so as a person, although I usually transformed into a dog when visiting new towns, which was less threatening than a jaguar. I also explained that when in animal form, I didn't have the same revulsions about some things, such as eating raw meat.

When he asked me what I missed, I told him books, because even as a non threatening dog, no one would lend me a book to read, although I admitted I had stolen a few when I had the opportunity, but I'd returned them when finished.

The next day, he brought me a copy of a book from his personal library. It was a book of Midgardian short stories and once he was gone, I devoured it eagerly but to read, I had to stay in person form and that meant that I felt the elements more than usual. He brought me another book the next day, then a third but by the fifth day, I didn't track Loki into the forest because I could hardly drag myself to our usual meeting place.

He found me curled in a ball, shivering and wearing all the clothes I had, which wasn't much. He determined that I was unwell and conjured a blanket for me as he sat beside me, soothing me. "Can you transform?" he asked me.

I nodded, although I didn't understand why. I was too tried to try to understand though. He collected my meagre possessions up and put them somewhere else, then he picked me up. I'm heavy as a Jaguar, about 200lbs, but he handled me with ease and shot my growled protests down. Eventually I went to sleep and when I awoke, I was sleeping on a bed of furs and was more comfortable than I had been in months.

I was still in cat form though and Loki was standing over me.

"I need you to drink this," Loki said, offering me a bowl with a milky white liquid in it. "It will help cure you," he assured me, so I lapped it up while Loki stroked my flanks.

"Good girl," he told me once the bowl was empty. "Now I know you're unwell, but you must remain as a cat until I tell you otherwise, alright?"

I was having trouble keeping up with the conversation so I didn't reply.

"Cara!" he said, sounding more stern than I had ever heard before. "If you change into your person form and are discovered, you will be arrested or worse. Stay as a jaguar, do you understand?"

I nodded and lowered my head back to the furs. I was so tired.

"Good girl," Loki soothed me. "Sleep now, when you awake, you should feel better."

* * *

When I awoke, I found that I'd been moved onto a bed but I was all alone in the room. My instincts kicked in, plus I was hungry and thirsty, so although I ached, I got off the bed and found a water bowl that Loki had left. Iced water, no less. I drank my fill then examined my new digs.

Loki's scent was everywhere, so I knew I was in his rooms, and I padded out to the living area, sniffing everything in my way. I gathered from the scents that Loki spent most of his time on the sofa, the seat with a pile of books beside it, or at some sort of potions desk, with hundreds of bottles of ingredients lined up on shelved behind it.

Still no Loki though, so I headed back to the bedroom but before I got there, I heard voices yelling in the hallway. I raised my hackles and faced the door, ready for trouble.

A blonde stranger barged in, calling, "I just want to see," over his shoulder and only stopping when I growled at him. I'll give him this, for someone so big, he certainly managed to stop quickly.

I continued to growl as I edged closer, hoping to get the man to leave. Remembering Loki's words, I was worried that anyone who got too close might discern my true nature.

Loki ran through the door seconds later and stopped to see what was happening.

"It's all right, Cara," Loki soothed. "It's just my oaf of a brother who acts before he thinks. You're safe here."

He approached me as though I was a wild animal, so I played my part and continued to bare my teeth at Thor as Loki approached. Loki got down on the ground beside me and I nuzzled his arm, although I didn't take my eyes off Thor.

"So you really did bring a jaguar back," Thor said with wonder. "I thought it was another rumour you had started."

Loki glared at his brother and I settled beside Loki, resting my head in his lap. I really was tired and I still felt shivery. Loki soothed me with long strokes of his hand over my coat.

"But why?" Thor asked. "Surely you can't mean to keep it?"

"When I came across her and I saw she was ill, I could hardly leave her alone to die, could I?"

"Why not take her to a veterinarian?"

"Because I thought now would be an excellent time to try out my healing potions on something other than a horse."

"She seems very tame." Thor grinned and approached. "She must have had an owner before."

I raised my head just enough to growl menacingly at him. I did not want him coming any closer. Thor got the message and stayed back.

"Well, she certainly seems to like you," Thor said, sounding slightly peeved when I laid my head back in Loki's lap.

"I think she understands on some level that I'm trying to help her," Loki rationalised my actions. "Animals are exceptionally intuitive."

"Well, when she's healthy, you should bring her to the training grounds, I've always wondered if I could beat a wild animal in combat."

I gave a plaintive whine and Loki soothed me. "I'm not healing her so that you can kill her," Loki snapped. "And if you've nothing constructive to add, bugger off."

"Yes, well, I think I've had enough of the petting zoo for a while, I'll see you at dinner."

Thor headed out and once the door was closed, Loki waved his hand and I heard the lock slide into place.

"I'm sorry about that, he's not exactly house trained yet."

I wanted to laugh but in animal form and with whatever illness I had, it was more of a rasp.

"How are you?"

I summoned my energy and sat up.

"You can change," Loki told me.

I shook my head.

"There are magical wards protecting the room now, no one can enter without my express permission."

I tried to change but discovered that I couldn't. I closed my eyes and focused all my will power on changing but it just wouldn't happen.

"Hush," Loki soothed me, obviously sensing my distress and stroking the top of my head. "I'm sure it's just because you're still unwell and weak, so don't panic. I'll check my books and see what I can find, all right?"

I had never been unwell while in animal form before, so what he said was plausible. I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Let's get you back to bed then I'll find you some food, how does that sound?"

I mewled.

"Come on then."

I headed back to the bedroom and after another drink of water, headed for the furs he'd laid out for me.

"You might as well take the bed," he said. "It's more than big enough and I want to be able to check on you."

His bed was high but I wasn't that weak so I jumped up, turned in a circle and settled down.

* * *

When I next awoke it was to the sound of Loki entering, holding a plate of raw steak and with a woman in tow.

"Is this she?"

"No, mother this is another jaguar that I happened to have laying around."

I remember thinking how pretty she was, but Loki's look warned me against being friendly.

"She's on your bed! Loki, that's not very hygienic."

"Cats are exceptionally clean animals, mother, besides, I want her where I can keep an eye on her."

Loki approached with a plate and climbed on the bed but when I saw his mother approaching, I growled in warning.

"Oh dear, I hope I haven't upset her."

"I'm sure she'll be fine, but she is wild and I don't know about you, but I don't exactly feel like socialising when I'm unwell."

"No, of course."

Loki got a strip of meat from the plate and hand fed it to me. It smelled lovely, clearly freshly killed and one of the best cuts. I licked his hand in thanks after the first strip.

He continued to feed me the nibbles and I edged closer, eager for more.

"You've developed a real bond with her." I'd forgotten his mother was still there.

"I dare say she'd be nice to anyone who fed her prime venison steak."

"Just be careful you don't tame her too much, or she won't survive on her own once she's healthy." And what that, she left.

"That's Frigga, my mother," Loki explained as he continued to feed me scraps. "She's lovely but you must be careful around her, her magic is almost as powerful as mine and she more than anyone, save for perhaps Odin, is the most likely to realise that you are more than just a cat."

I nodded and when another slice of meat wasn't forthcoming, I licked his hand.

Loki laughed. "All right, all right, I get the hint."

I wondered why he hadn't simply put the food on the floor for me, it wasn't as if I wasn't used to worse.

He continued feeding me until the plate was empty and when he put the it aside, I licked his face.

Loki laughed. "I take it you liked that?"

I settled my head on his lap and he scratched behind my ears.

"I'll get you another dose of the potion," he said, "Then I'll take a look through my magic books while you get some rest."

* * *

I slept a lot those first few days, probably 18 hours a day. Loki spent as much time in his rooms with me as he could, usually reading beside me since conversation was difficult.

On the second night, I was bored and shoved my head in his lap. Loki scratched behind my ears and moved his book so he could still see it. I wriggled closer and nudged the hand that held his book. "You want me to put it down?" he asked.

We had developed a code, blink once for yes, two for no. I blinked twice.

"Then what?"

I nudged the book with my nose this time.

"You want me to read to you?"

One blink. 'yes'.

"Of course." Loki smiled. "Do you want me to catch you up, or start from the beginning?"

I tilted my head to the side; how was I supposed to answer that with a yes or no?

"Start at the beginning?" he tried again with a wry smile.

Two blinks, 'no'.

"Okay, well this is by a Midgardian playwright named Shakespeare. This play is called Macbeth and is about a Scottish king. One of his men…"

He wasn't far through and I was soon caught up, then he proceeded to read the rest aloud to me. He began scratching behind my ears, pausing only to turn the pages, and it wasn't long before I was purring.

I don't think I had ever purred before, because no one had ever petted me until now.

By day three, I was feeling much improved but still rather weak. Loki had been taking me out into the gardens each night to do my business. I don't usually care about such things when I'm in animal form so I wasn't embarased but I have to admit, peeing on the Queen's lawn was a new one to me.

Still, the worst thing was, Loki insisted that I wear a collar when he took me out, in case there was anyone about. He had to give the impression that I was wild and thus, that he was controlling me.

I made sure to throw him lots of dirty looks.

His magic books had revealed that shapeshifting was difficult with low energy levels, such as when unwell or starving, so Loki had advised me not to try again until I was better, he didn't want me wasting energy that I could be using to heal.

By day four though, I really wanted to have an actual conversation with him, but I didn't know how to ask. I was too frightened of my secret being discovered to change into a person without making sure it was safe first.

Loki was working at his potions desk, brewing up another batch of the stuff he'd been feeding me. He explained that I needed to take it for 5 days, just to be safe.

I finally hit upon an idea and I went into the bedroom. It took some manoeuvring but I managed to open his wardrobe door and tug something from a hanger. I brought it into the other room and placed my front paws on the desk. Loki noticed and took the shirt from my mouth.

"You want me to wear this?" he asked.

I blinked twice.

"Then what?"

I tried to put my head in it but without opposable thumbs, it was impossible, so I returned to the bedroom and got another item, this time it was a pair of his leather pants, and it brought a few other items down with it. I padded back through and Loki was waiting. He took the pants from my mouth.

"Clothes," he mused. "You want to get dressed?"

One blink, 'yes'.

"You want to change back?"

One blink.

He smiled. "Sorry, I was a little slow there."

He sent a pulse of green energy to the doors and I heard the lock click into place.

"Go ahead," he reassured me.

I turned back into a person but remained on all fours. "I don't suppose I could borrow that shirt, could I?"

He smiled and turned away, tossing the shirt over his shoulder and keeping his back turned while I pulled it on.

"Are you decent?" he asked

"Absolutely not, but I am dressed. Sort of." The shirt came to mid-thigh, not exactly modest but it did the job.

It was strange, but without all the worries and neurosis that people have, I had grown very close to him while as a cat, feeling free to be as affectionate as I wanted. Well, maybe I didn't feel free to do everything I wanted, but I'd licked him more times than I could count.

As he turned around, I stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

Loki's arms came around me and he held me tightly.

"My pleasure."

When I pulled away I suddenly felt very self-conscious and as Loki leaned in close, I understood why.

He pressed his lips to mine, very tentatively, testing the waters and when I didn't pull away, he repeated the action, then again, then finally he deepened the kiss.

I responded, but Loki pulled away far too soon for my liking.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said with a warm smile.

I returned his smile, although mine was rather more tentative.

"Does it feel good to be a person again?"

I nodded. "But I have to admit, I feel less insecure when I'm a cat."

Loki smirked. "You have nothing to be insecure about".

"Your Mum was nice."

"She is. I wish I could introduce you to her, but-"

"It's too much of a risk."

"Exactly." He seemed grateful that I understood. "Now, how about I have dinner in my room tonight?"

"So I get to eat cooked food for a change?"

"Yes," he smirked. "Would you like anything specific?"

"You always pick nice things." Besides, my idea of a nice meal was a simple stew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

 **Loki's Point of View**

I had known Cara for nearly six weeks now and I was counting my blessings more each day.

She was truly unique, and not just because she was the only shapeshifter I'd ever met (and the only half Jotun) but her personality was also an odd mixture.

Cara the woman was cautious and timid and although I saw flashes of temper and pride, I had a feeling she would always be slightly reserved. Still, I wanted to bring her out of her shell and help her discover for herself how wonderful she was .

While her formal education was basic, her love of reading had instilled her with a wide breath of knowledge and there were few topics that she didn't know at least something about, and while her nature was timid, probably as a result of being raised by a religious order, she had upped sticks and headed out into the wide world, even to other realms, which showed a lot of bravery.

I'm not sure even I would have had that courage at less than two centuries old.

Cara the cat was something else entirely, and until I brought her back to the palace, I hadn't really had a chance to interact with her cat form much. She had incredible instincts, I had noticed, and didn't shy away from defending herself. Truth be told, she also seemed totally fearless while in that form.

Another wonderful discovery, was how sensual she was, completely unafraid to rub her head against me, lick me, and show affection in many small ways, that I was certain Cara the person would not be confident enough to do.

Unfortunately for me, I am attracted to women, not cats, because I'm absolutely certain that had I wanted to, I could have bedded the cat by now. If only I could help Cara become more like her feline self, more self-possessed, more trusting of her instincts, more willing to be open with her affection.

After my disastrous first attempt to kiss her, getting Cara the woman to trust me was going to be difficult. I understood why she feared rejection and I didn't blame her for it, but her animal instincts clearly told her to trust me and I wanted her to listen to them more.

I think bringing her back here and taking care of her has helped her to trust me, but I wasn't sure it would be enough.

I don't think Cara has any idea how unwell she was, but had I not brought her back here, I'm certain she wouldn't have lasted more than a day, perhaps two. She had been burning up with fever and slightly delirious, mumbling to herself as she shivered in the clearing that had become our meeting place.

She still doesn't look well. While she was a jaguar, I had to go by how she seemed and her yes/no answers to my questions but when she turned back, I could see that her face was still pale, her eyes had dark smudges under them and her cheeks were sunken.

I was still debating taking her to either a healer or veterinarian, but both would soon realise that she was a shapeshifter, and I simply couldn't risk that. Not only would Odin think she was a spy, Thor had often expressed a desire to fight the Jotun and he viewed them all as monsters.

I doubted either man had the necessary patience to find out the truth before either killing or banishing Cara; when it came to the Jotun, they were seen as monsters, barely people at all.

I had done some reading on shapeshifting and it was terribly draining. When bringing her food, I had often wondered how she could eat so much yet still be as lithe as a dancer. Now I knew; the change took incredible amounts of energy.

For that reason, I didn't want Cara changing back into a cat too soon or too frequently until she was healed, so I cast an invisibility spell on her in case anyone entered my rooms while I was organising dinner for us.

I spoke with Sarna, a kitchen maid that I knew could be trusted, and she organised three large steaks while I waited, and I helped her carry them back to my room. I told her I was expecting guests very soon, the line delivered with a wink to sell the story without explicitly stating it, and a gold coin to encourage her to remain loyal quiet . I'd had assignations before that Thor had discovered and subsequently ruined, so Sarna didn't question my desire for privacy. That was also the reason that I'd learned to protect my rooms with spells that forbade anyone to enter without my permission.

My heart hammered in my chest as I opened the door to my rooms but even although I should be able to see her, she was obviously hiding in the bedroom.

The maid set everything out and as soon as she was gone, I went through to the bedroom to find Cara. She was huddled behind a chair and only showed herself when I called her name. She was still wearing only my shirt and it looked surprisingly good on her, revealing a tantalising amount of her lovely legs.

"Come," I held my hand out towards her. "The food is here."

She approached me with less apprehension that I expected and I stole a quick kiss.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist."

She smiled and I led her through before she could become too self-conscious.

I heard her gasp when she noticed the candles that had been set out.

"I had to tell the kitchen maid that I had company, so she brought the candles," I explained, not wanting Cara to think I was trying to seduce her, even though I was.

Cara accepted my excuse and took a seat while I unloaded the trays.

"I'm not exactly dressed for it," she teased.

"You look lovely," I assured her. "You could wear sackcloth and still outshine most women."

"Loki, you don't need to do that."

"Do what?" I frowned.

"Flatter me. I know I'm not pretty, and false flattery doesn't help anything."

I stopped and turned to look at her. "Darling, I don't know what you have been led to believe, but any way I look at it, you are beautiful, even now, while still unwell."

She blushed and looked away. "Loki, stop it, please."

I was peeved. I did not flatter often and usually it was false, because I wanted something, but now that I meant it, my target refused to accept it.

"Come with me," I said, and I all but pulled her back into the bedroom, standing her before a full length mirror. I moved behind her, my head over her shoulder.

"Look," I urged and although reluctant, she looked at her reflection. I raised a finger to her face and began to trace her features with my finger tip, pointing out why each one was perfect. "Perfect, high cheekbones, a narrow, straight nose, hair as black as coal and eyes the shade of sapphires," I began, slowly talking her through every feature.

Once finished with her face, I took her hands and held them behind her back, gathering the shirt there too so it clung to her figure a little better without needing to disrobe her as I described how I saw her body to her.

"Your body is muscular and strong but still feminine, your legs go on for ever, your hips flare beautifully, and your tapering waste makes me want to grab it and hold you against me." While talking, I gathered her wrists and the shirt into one hand and I ran my free hand up from her thigh, over her hip and waist, coming to rest on her stomach rather than rising to her breasts.

"And your breasts are full and ripe but not too heavy. In short, I'm pretty sure your proportions are so perfect, any artist would love to sculpt you. Finally, you move with a lithe gracefulness that would be the envy of every woman I know."

I could see hope shining in her eyes but there were also tears shimmering in them too.

"But my ridges..."

I moved to the side of her so I could look into her eyes.

"Are also beautiful," I said, delicately tracing the ones on her forehead. "You think they're ugly because you associate them with a race with an ugly reputation, but they aren't, darling. If anything, they highlight your perfection, not detract from it."

She closed her eyes as her tears spilled over and since she couldn't use her hands, I kissed them away. I was surprised she hadn't pulled out of my grasp to be honest, but I took it as a sign she was starting to trust me and I wasn't about to question it

"Look at me," I commanded softly.

It took her a few moments but she eventually opened her eyes and met my gaze.

"I think you're one of the most desirable women I've ever met."

"You don't mean that," she whispered.

"I will never lie to you, I give you my word, and if you need more proof," I brought one of her hands out from behind her back and placed it over my erection.

She pulled away, as if scalded, and I lost my grip on her wrist but after a few seconds, she slowly brought her hand back.

I held my breath, afraid I might frighten her off if I moved even slightly but as she pressed her hand over my hard on, I groaned. She didn't move away though.

"I did that?" she asked me, her voice hesitant.

"That, and so much more."

"We could… if you want…"

If she hadn't sounded so tentative, I would have thrown her down and taken her right then but I couldn't do that to her. When did I grow a conscience?

"Oh darling, I want... I want you so badly it hurts, but you're still recovering and I can't jeopardise that."

"But I want to," she said with more certainty. To my surprise, she cupped my dick and began to rub it through my pants as she pulled her other hand from my grip and raised it to my face, cupping my cheek and tracing her thumb along my cheekbone.

She was testing my will, which had been rather weak to begin with. Somehow I found the strength to remove her hand from my penis and I kissed the back of it.

"After we eat, if you're a good girl and still feel the same, we'll see. Now come on, the heating plates don't keep the food warm forever."

She followed me back through and seemed far happier now, more relaxed and confident after our talk.

We chatted about music over dinner, and I told her of some of the many operas I'd seen. She was enthusiastic and I wished I could show them to her, but I hadn't yet thought of a way she could safely attend.

Plus, Cara would be leaving soon.

When I brought her here, it was on the express understanding that I took responsibility for her at all times. As much as Thor seemed heedless to the dangers, to the many other residents of the palace, she was still a dangerous wild animal. Even if I could convince them that she was safe and I could train her, keeping wild animals as pets was frowned upon, so I would have to send her back to the forest once she was better, and that thought was far harder to bear than I had imagined.

I had enjoyed having her here more that I though was possible, both in her cat form and her human persona, and I was eager for more, although it seemed impossible without drawing undue questions that could endanger Cara.

I made her eat two of the meals, not only because she had been unwell, but also because she seemed slightly thin to me. Given the energy she expended changing forms, and the frequency with which she had done so since meeting me, I surmised that she probably wasn't looking after herself properly and while she was here, I was going to take the best care of her that I could.

After she'd eaten the steak, we had a second course of chocolate ice cream and again, I encouraged her eat two portions.

I could see her eyes drooping with lethargy by the time we were finished, so I knew tonight wasn't going to be the night I sampled her delights.

I told myself that I didn't mind, but I did, even more so now that I knew she was receptive, but my needs would have to wait.

We settled on one of the sofas and I read to her until she dozed off, then I carried her through to the bedroom and tucked her in.

* * *

 **Cara's Point of View**

I awoke the next morning to find myself wrapped around Loki.

Now I can't exactly say this is unusual since as a person, I've never shared a bed overnight with someone before, so I had no basis for comparison.

I had noticed that as a jaguar, I would usually rest my head on him, my animal instinct telling me that I needed the comfort and could trust this man, but I hadn't expected to be a cuddly sleeper as a person.

Affection just hasn't been a big part of my life. The nuns and priests at the orphanage were very good to us, comforting and hugging us when we were upset or unwell, but they couldn't dole out hugs like apples because they didn't have the time. Looking after us was in addition to their religious duties and I was grateful for what they had done for me, especially that they never looked at me with the revulsion that others did. At least for the first hundred or so years of my life I knew what acceptance was.

After I left education, I'd had only one failed romance, with a man who wanted to claim me as a conquest and held no real affection. I should have judged him by his actions rather than his words, but back then, I didn't know how it should feel to be loved, so I didn't know that when he said 'I love you,' usually before trying to sleep with me, that that wasn't love.

I had a strong suspicion that I knew how it should feel now though. I'm not saying Loki loves me but I know he cares for me, and I think that being cared for must feel very much like being loved.

You might wonder how I can be so certain that Loki isn't fooling me too but you see, my shapeshifting comes with an added bonus. Since I began spending large amounts of time as an animal, starting about twenty years ago now, I can tell when people are lying, they give off a very subtle but (to me at least) noticeable scent, even when I'm in person form as long as they're close enough to me.

It's not fool proof, far from it in fact, someone could tell me two truths and a lie and I would think them all false as the same scent could linger, but it could be useful sometimes. I wished I'd had that talent when I met my first boyfriend, but it was in reaction to his betrayal that finally made me give up on people and spend much of my free time as an animal.

All the time Loki held me in front of the mirror last night though, I searched for that scent and to my immense relief, it never came. He truly did find me beautiful.

"Good, you're awake," I heard Loki's voice rumble and raised my head off his chest.

He smirked at me. "Now darling, you have two choices, you can remove the leg over my hip, the one that's been rubbing against me for about fifteen minutes now, or you can leave it there and we can finally get around to what I promised you last night."

I never knew that someone could go from bleary to completely erotically charged in just a few seconds.

"I'm not moving," I said, swallowing down my nerves.

"Oh, darling, I was hoping you'd say that. Now, as it happens, not moving is exactly what I want from you this morning, you're still recovering and I do not want you overexerting yourself, so when I move you into a position, you will stay there, understood?"

"Yes, Loki." Don't ask me why, but his words were extremely hot, and not just because of the care he was showing for me. As a feline, I knew that my partners were expected to be dominant. I don't know how I know, I've never actually met another jaguar to test that theory, but I presume it's an instinct all jaguars have. As such, Loki's assertiveness was a big turn on, rather than a turn off.

I was still apprehensive though, wondering if it would hurt again. I had a friend at the orphanage who assured me that it only ever hurt the first time, and I'd read biology books which backed that up, but I was still apprehensive.

Loki's dominance actually helped in that respect because in handing control over to him, I knew that I trusted him.

"Good girl." He traced the back of his index finger down the side of my face, his expression tender and caring, then he looked into my eyes and his smile became wicked.

The next thing I knew, I was on my back, Loki straddling me and tickling my sides. I laughed, I couldn't help it, and I also couldn't stop myself trying to pry his hands away.

"Now, now, what did I say?"

Damn it, I was defying him when I hadn't intended to, still, I did feel that this was slightly unfair.

"Then don't tickle me," I replied.

He stopped and looked down at me, an undeniably smug look on his face. "I know you're rather innocent in the ways of the flesh, so consider this is your first lesson in sex, darling."

"Don't disobey you," I guessed.

"No, darling, the first lesson is: Enjoy it."

His smirk transformed into a grin and he ticked me again, only lightly so I didn't feel the need to fight him, but enough to make me laugh.

"First and foremost, sex should always be fun."

"I didn't realise this was a teaching exercise," I teased.

Loki levelled a smouldering glare at me. "Life is a learning exercise, darling and luckily for you, I'm far more experienced in this arena, than you."

He leaned down and kissed me, then as he pulled away, he whispered. "Grab the headboard and don't let go."

I nodded my understanding, eager for him to just get on with things.

He took ahold of the bottom edge of my shirt and tore it in two, from navel to neck in one smooth manoeuvre.

Then he sat back and just gazed down at me for a long while, taking in every ugly ridge. I reminded myself that he liked how I looked so although I was still self conscious, I felt a little easier about being watched.

Having drunk in his fill, he leaned over me and kissed me, then trailed kissed over my jaw, down my neck and over to my breasts. He licked and sucked on my nipples in turn, then gently bit them. I gave a soft moan and tightened my grip on the headboard.

"What are you doing?" I asked, genuinely having no idea. My experience of sex involved a little bit of petting, then a few moments of rutting, then it was over. I had read a romance book once but it wasn't graphic and I hadn't read any more. It was too painful to reminded of the sore of love and affection that I thought I'd never have.

"Loving you," he answered. "Now hush and enjoy."

I was so wet, I was almost ready to pant with need but Loki wasn't going to make it that easy. He eased his legs in between mine and with painful slowness, he kissed his way down my body leaving a tantalising, tingling trail of pleasure in his wake.

I heard a series of almost constant moans and whimpers and it took me a moment to realise that they were coming from me.

Loki finally reached my mound and seemed to stop there, kissing and nibbling but not going just an inch or two south to ease the itch he had created but now refuse to scratch.

"Please," I whimpered.

"Please what?" Loki asked.

I didn't know how to answer, I didn't know what it was I wanted, not in terms I could explain. The education I had received, while fairly comprehensive, was rather lacking in this area. Even the huge library of books I'd had access to hadn't touched on sexual relations in anything but the most basic sense.

"I- I… Please, I don't know."

"Tell me what you feel," Loki ordered.

"I feel…" Even that wasn't easy to put into words. "I feel like a taut string about to snap any second. As if every nerve ending in my body is in overdrive, tingling, expectant as though something is coming, something amazing, but I don't know what or why or when, but I need it, I really need it and each each second I wait just increases my frustration but… but I like it."

Loki finally moved lower but he avoided that place that I instinctively knew would sate my desires, instead he sucked on and nibbled my lips down there.

I felt embarrassed to have someone down there, kissing and licking my sex; I didn't even know that was something people did! Why would you think to kiss someone there?

I spent the first 100 years of my life behind church walls, and the next 40 living mostly alone, then travelling Vanaheim and Asgard.

I had seen animals having sex so I thought I knew what it was, and my one experience had backed up my assumptions. Now I realised that I was painfully naïve.

"Please!" I whimpered, now fairly certain that if something didn't happen soon, I was doing to dissolve into a puddle of goo. "Please, Loki, I need you..." I didn't know what I needed from him, so I settled for that. "I need you."

"Patience is a virtue, darling." He teased me, his breath fanning my lips, and even such a subtle sensation as that only served to add to my tension.

I began to thrash my head from side to side and raise my hips off the bed, trying desperately to get some sensation on that tiny button that could give me the satisfaction I desperately needed. "Be still!" Loki commanded.

"I can't," I wailed.

"If you don't lie still, I'll stop."

I believed him so although it was hard, I forced myself try to relax. If anything though, that increased my frustration, it didn't help it.

Loki eventually took pity on me and a few seconds after I obeyed him and went limp, he touched his tongue to that little bud that was screaming for attention.

I'd touched it myself a few times, curiosity getting the better of me, but my own attempts to soothe my sexual appetites were nothing like this. I began to keen, occasionally whimpering Loki's name, which was the most coherence I was capable of at the moment.

His tongue scraped over the sensitive pearl and my hips bucked right off the bed in response. I worried that he would stop because I had not lain still, but he didn't, and with a few more quick flicks, I felt the taut string snap and pleasure flooded through me. My muscles spasmed, especially those in my groin, my fists tightened on the head board and I was panting as if I had just run ten miles. I felt as exhilarated as if I was flying, and every nerve in my body was tingling.

It was a little bit frightening, as if I had no control over my own body, but it was so pleasurable that it was hard to care too much and the slight fear somehow added to the experience, rather than detracting form it.

While I was still floating on air, Loki climbed up my body and placed himself at my entrance, sliding in to the hilt with one smooth thrust.

This part of sex I was familiar with, but this felt so totally different to the last time and his entrance was easy and not at all painful. I felt not only full but also complete, as if Loki's penis was the thing that my body has been waiting for all its life.

Strangely, the sensations in my little bud didn't subside now that Loki had ceased to stimulate it, but rather it continued to tingle and each time Loki thrust into me, it throbbed pleasurably in reply. I suspected he might have used magic on it but I didn't care.

His thrusts were so powerful that I was almost forced up the bed and I had to tense my arms against the headboard to remain where I was. My hips also began to move of their own volition, rising to meet him each time, wanting to feel him even deeper inside me. I opened my legs as wide as I could, trying to facilitate him.

"Loki, Loki," I muttered, nearly insensible from the sensations with which I was being assaulted.

Loki sped his pace up and I was desperate to repeat that pleasurable sensation of earlier and as the desire within me built to its peak and my passion was sated for a second time, Loki leaned down and kissed me, swallowing my cries.

His hips thrust for a few more seconds, then he too seemed to reach that same peak and he collapsed onto me, breathing just as heavily as I had been.

I dared to remove my hands from the headboard and wrapped them around him, stroking his back while we both recovered.

After a few minutes, Loki rolled off and as he gathered me and tucked me into his side, I felt totally languid, almost boneless.

"That was amazing," I purred.

"Mmm," Loki agreed. "Are you all right?"

"I feel fantastic," I told him, which made him chuckle. "If I had known sex was actually pleasurable, I would have had a lot more," I teased.

"You didn't enjoy-"

"It was short and it hurt," I cut him off, not wanting to dwell on unpleasant memories. "I couldn't imagine why people kept doing it." I raised my head off his chest. "What was that?"

"What?" He frowned.

"That sort of… snapping inside me, you did it twice."

Loki looked like the cat who got the cream. "That, darling, was an orgasm."

"And what's that?"

"You really don't know anything, do you?"

I blushed and looked away.

"I'm not blaming you," he assured me. "In fact I think teaching you will be a delight. There's so much I want to show you," he said, then his voice dropped slightly. "Starting with names. What's this?"

He grabbed my bottom.

"Bum? Butt? Buttock?"

"Arse," he answered. His arms were long enough that while I was lying prone on him, he could still reach between my legs with the arm he had around my legs. He found my entrance and after tickeling it for a moment, he thrust a finger in.

"And this?"

"My vagina."

"Any other names?"

"I… my love cave, or flower?"

Loki roared with laughter. "Where did you hear those?"

"I read it," I must have blushed crimson. "Someone in school had one of those two copper romances and other than medical books, that's all I had to go on."

"Then allow me to dirty up your mind with a few decidedly vulgar terms." He grinned wickedly and the next thing I knew, I was on my back again. He repositioned me slightly then returned a finger to my… well, down there.

"This is the vagina, also known as a cunt, but in your case I think pussy is the more preferable of its nicknames."

He was thrusting his finger in and out as he spoke, turning me on again.

"These are the labia, the minora and majora." He traced each with a finger as he spoke and was making it very difficult to concentrate on what he was saying.

"And this is my favourite part of a woman's sex," his finger found that tiny bud I liked so much.

"They call it the clitoris or clit, and it had as many or more nerve endings than the penis."

He continued his lesson but he kept his hand on my… pussy, teasing it and the surrounding tissue, driving me crazy to boot, while his mouth pointed out the other body parts he wanted to name, like my nipples.

I could feel that same tension forming inside me again, growing in intensity as he continued to tease me under the guise of educating me.

"And finally, this, my darling, is an orgasm or climax." He said when he was finished, watching me as I cried out and thrashed slightly.

When I came down from my high, I smiled at him.

"Think you can remember all that?" he asked with a very satisfied smile.

"If all your lessons are going to be as distracting as that, I think I'm going to be very bad student."

Loki chuckled, then leaned down and kissed me.

"Well, I can't exactly claim to be a patient teacher," he teased. "But I am dedicated."

I smiled up at him.

"Alas for now, our lessons must come to an end. I asked the kitchen to send breakfast to my room this morning and it should be here any minute."

"All I want to do is sleep."

"After breakfast I have a training session scheduled with Thor and his friends, so you can sleep then, darling."

I nodded.

"Now, stay in here with the doors closed until I come and get you," he instructed. "The bathroom's in there, if you want to use it."

And with another quick kiss, he bounded off the bed and began to dress.

I couldn't take my eyes off him as he walked around the room, his muscles rippling in the light with each movement. He wasn't as musclebound as some warriors were but his look suited him. He almost reminded me of a cat in that he appeared limber and graceful in motion, but he had a ferocious strength if necessary.

"Like what you see?" he asked.

"Hmmm," I purred, resting my head on my hand.

I pouted when he pulled a tunic on.

"I prefer it when you take clothes off."

"I've created a monster," he teased.

I shrugged, still feeling rather euphoric from three orgasms.

"Now remember, stay in here until I come and get you.

I nodded and once the door was closed, I stretched and made my way to the bathroom.

* * *

 **Loki's Point of View**

I was on my way back to my rooms when Frigga found me.

"I tried to stop in on your jaguar today but your door was locked with magic."

I'd left Cara dozing in her person form, so I had to lock the rooms in case anyone went in.

"After Thor barged in and nearly frightened her into attacking him, I thought it best while I was out."

"Very wise," she told me but with a hint of amusement in her voice. "How is she?"

"Recovering."

"And when will you return her to the forest?"

"I'm not sure."

"You can't keep her here much longer, Loki, you know that, don't you? If you tame her, you leave her vulnerable to all sorts of dangers when she's released. "

I sighed. "Yes, mother, I'm well aware." Why exactly did she have to ruin my happiness with this reminder?

"All right then. If you like, I'll go with you tomorrow when you take her back."

"That won't be necessary," I assured her, my tone snippy.

"As you wish. I missed you at dinner last night, I hope we'll see you this evening."

"I'm not a child, mother," I snapped at her. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm expected in the library."

Frigga left but she had that mysterious smile on her face, and it worried me. What if she knew, or at least suspected, that Cara was a shapeshifter?

The fact was, Frigga often seemed to know more than she let on and I was never quite sure how much was truth, and how much was bravado. Raising two sons can't be easy and Thor and I both got into more than our fair share of trouble as children. That all enigmatic, slightly smug smile was usually enough to have Thor spilling the beans. Truth be told, he wasn't much better at hiding things from her as an adult.

I knew I was good at keeping secrets but when I saw that smile, I could never quite be sure if Frigga believed me or not.

I headed to the library so as not to be caught in a lie but as I browsed the books, my thoughts were on Cara, currently asleep in my bed.

I was caught between a rock and a hard place. For her own good Cara needed to leave the castle, possibly even the realm, but how could I let her go? After what we'd shared this morning, I didn't want to lose her.

We also couldn't continue with this half relationship for long, visitng each other in the woods for only a few hours a day. I wanted more, so she either had to leave, or come and live with me in the castle.

I am a rather selfish creature so whilst we must both take the utmost care, I could not be without her. Now I simply had to find a compelling reason for her to become a pet.

It was too soon for me to share these thoughts with Cara, I didn't want to frighten her off so the best thing was to come up with a fully formed, decent plan, then present it as a fait accompli.

The rest of the day I spent with Cara, except for joining my family for dinner, since my mother had insisted and I didn't want anyone to think I was becoming enamoured of a cat. I returned to the room with a plate of raw meat and discovered that Cara had changed back into a jaguar.

"Do you feel more secure in this form when I'm not here?"

She blinked once for 'yes' and stayed in cat form while I hand fed her. I began to tease her this time, offering her a strip of steak, then pulling it away. Cara soon became wise to me though and I had to keep upping my game until we were wrestling around on the floor.

I was going to miss her dreadfully, both her personas.

Once I felt we were unlikely to have any more visitors, I locked the room with magic. She changed back into her person form and we made love.

As we were lying in bed afterwards, talking, I explained that she had to return to the forest tomorrow and while she looked a little wistful, she accepted it without question and thanked me for taking care of her.

I assured her that this wasn't the end and I could continue to visit her, but I wouldn't say anything else until I had a plan.

We left at midday and I have to say, I enjoyed the looks people gave me, and the way they shrank away as I walked the halls of the palace with a huge jaguar by my side.

My mood sobered once we were entering the forest though, and I was feeling rather downhearted by the time we reached our clearing.

"I'll be back tomorrow," I told her. She didn't change, but she jumped up on her hind legs and put her paws on my shoulders. We were almost the same height and she hugged me, almost as a human would do.

I put my arms around her and stroked her fur, knowing I was going to miss her presence in my bed each night, either as a cat or a person.

"I should go," I told her.

Cara licked the side of my face and got down, sitting and watching me as I walked away.

I turned back a few times and the second, I would swear she had tears in her eyes.

I was unhappy for the rest of the day, although I did my best to hide it from those around me, and I raided the library for various tomes that I felt might help me find a ploy to get Cara back into the palace. I was determined to find a way to have her by my side permanently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

 **Cara's Point of View**

Loki seemed so sad when he left and if I'm honest, I was too but more for him than myself; I was used to being alone but I hated the idea of causing him pain.

My few days in the palace were wonderful, a warm bed, a roof, the best food (both cooked and raw) that I'd ever eaten, and wine that tasted as if it had been made by the gods. But I knew that couldn't last. I had never even hoped that it might. People like me do not get happy endings and I was grateful just to have had a taste of that life.

Once Loki was out of sight, I rubbed my tears away with my paws, then loped away to my den, where I curled up in a ball and thought of ways I could cheer Loki up over the next few days.

It was strange how much I cared for him, not unwelcome, but not like me. When I was a child, I was open and made friends easily but that was a long time ago now.

I didn't think I'd made a mistake with Loki though, and once I was feeling better, those few days with him had been heaven. The memory of them would keep me warm on cold nights for many years to come. I wasn't foolish enough to think that Loki and I could ever become a real relationship, I am not the kind of girl that men like Loki marry, but I don't blame him for that, it's just the way the world works; princes do not marry mixed race orphans.

I was content just to know that he cared for me, I didn't need everything else that came with a proper relationship.

* * *

The next day I stalked Loki as he headed to our meeting place and once he got there, I scaled a nearby tree, digging my claws into the bark to help me climb.

"Cara?" Loki called when I didn't show myself. "I know you're here."

He turned in a circle, trying to find me and when he faced my way, I leapt out of the tree, my front paws landing on his chest and we both crashed to the ground, rolling over and over until I was on top. I gave him a wet lick, from jaw to hairline, which made him cringe.

"Ugh! Cara!" he exclaimed but he was smiling, enjoying himself.

I was grinning above him, proud to have made him smile

"Get of me, you mangy mouser!"

I growled playfully and rather than getting off, transformed. Of course I was stark naked, so my breasts pressed into his chest and since I was straddling him, my sex hovered right over his dick.

"Are you sure you want me to get off?"

Loki narrowed his eyes. "You picked the wrong animal," he told me, his voice low and dangerous, sending a thrill up my spine.

"Oh?" I asked.

He flipped us over so he was on top and rubbed his groin against my sex. "You should have chosen a mynx."

I laughed at the play on words and tried to slip my hands between us to free his cock but he took my wrists and held them either side of my head.

"Here I am, selflessly coming all this way to keep you company for an hour or two, and all you want is my body."

I shrugged. "Don't blame me, you're the one with the beautiful body."

"Oh, I'm the temptress, am I?" Loki chuckled. "You're the one who walks around stark naked."

"Then isn't it time you took advantage of my wanton nature?"

"Oh believe me, I intend to."

He bent down to kiss me, thrusting his hips against me. I was wet already, had been since I began following him and anticipated making love to him, so my lips easily parted under his ministrations and his leather pants rubbed my sex.

By the time he pulled away, I felt breathless.

I'd noticed that Loki was very commanding and honestly, for someone as inexperienced as I was, it was a relief to let him be in control, but I would be lying if I said it didn't also turn me on. Today though, I wanted to be proactive.

"Loki?"

His smug expression sobered in reaction to mine. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I blushed anyway. When you grow up with a religious order, it has a tendency to make you rather embarrassed about certain things. "I was just wondering… will you leach m to please you, like you please me, with your mouth?"

He seemed a little surprised by my request, but pleased.

He rolled off me and put his arms behind his head, while I sat up and gaped at him. Was this a no or what?

"Loki?"

"Have your wicked way with me, wanton woman," he smirked. "I am yours."

"But I don't know what to do," I admitted in a small voice.

Loki's expression of mirth fled and he sat up on one elbow, tilting my chin up with a finger until I met his gaze again.

"Remember I told you sex should be fun?"

I nodded.

"Part of that fun is exploring and discovering things for yourself. I could give you an instruction list but where's the fun in that? You'll soon see for yourself what I like, and what I like more."

"What about what you dislike?"

"Darling, when a woman is trying to pleasure me, there's very little I dislike… save perhaps for biting. Scrape, nibble, tease, but don't bite."

I nodded my understanding and with a magical shimmer, his clothes disappeared, making things easier.

"Stroke, kiss, lick, suck, grope, pinch, caress, I'm at your disposal, lover, do what you want to me."

He lay back, resuming his previous position but I just stared at him for a moment. He had a wonderful body. Now granted I don't have much to compare him to, but I still thought he was perfect. My eyes traced the planes of his chest and lingered over that lovely little shadowed V that his hip bones formed. His cock was hard already but I remembered him teasing me that first night and how he lavished attention everywhere but where I thought I most wanted it.

Turnabout is fair play, as they say, so although I was nervous, I was going to make full use of this opportunity and explore all of him.

When I met his eye, I saw that he was watching me, seemingly amused by my enjoyment of his body.

"You have a lovely body," I told him, trying not to sound embarrassed by admitting that.

"Well, I like it," he agreed with me.

"Someone really needs to paint you," I told him as I knelt beside him.

"Do you paint?" he asked.

"A little. Paints are expensive so we didn't often use them at the orphanage, but they tried to teach us ladylike pursuits. I can sketch well."

"Then one day, I'll let you draw me."

I smiled, liking that idea, but I had gazed at him for long enough now.

I felt slightly hesitant so I tried to get in touch with the animalistic side of my nature. Since I've been changing regularly, and especially since I've been living as a jaguar, my mind is never all person or all cat, but a mixture of the two. Right now I needed the boldness and curiosity of my inner feline.

I reached out and began tracing the lines and contours of his face with feather light caresses. He closed his eyes and he let out a contented sigh, so I assumed he was enjoying it and that boosted my confidence.

As my hands descended to his neck, I began kissing his face, starting with his eyelids, then his cheeks, then his lips. He kissed me back but I didn't deepen the kisses and he didn't try to either. Clearly I was in charge, at least for the moment.

As my hands moved onto his shoulders, my lips trailed over his jawline and I could feel the slight, rough stubble there, and I lavished some deeper kisses on that region, then rubbed my jaw against it, enjoying the sensation of the coarse texture.

I continued my careful examination, slowly exploring his body, becoming more confident as I went on, sometimes scraping my teeth over his skin, or carefully nibbling and sucking on his nipples. I had never considered that men's nipples might be sensitive before but from the noises he made, they definitely were.

His abdomen was another surprise, and caressing and kissing him here made his cock twitch.

I listened carefully to him, to the little noises and breathy sighs he made, and from them I was able to judge which activities he preferred. I was actually getting turned on myself, just by pleasing him because although I wasn't being stimulated, we both knew where this was leading.

Once I reached his hips, I did consider skipping his cock and starting from his feet but I was too impatient to draw this out any longer, so I lavished some attention is his sadly neglected dick.

I began by trailing my fingers over the length and shaft. It was a strange texture, rock hard yet the skin was silky soft and smooth. I quickly discovered that the side of the tip that rested against his stomach was the most sensitive but I didn't give him any relief yet, I was making the most of the free rein I had been given.

Next I pressed a series of dry kisses along the length of his shaft, and the softness of his skin struck me anew; I could kiss and caress it all day, given the opportunity. Gradually my kisses became wetter, encompassing more of his shaft and sometimes I would suck slightly.

Loki's responses were louder now and sometimes he would murmour something like 'that's good', 'more', or 'yesss'.

Next I licked the length of his shaft from base to tip and, much like an ice lolly, I made sure I covered the whole thing.

Before entering me, I'd seen him fist his cock and pump the shaft a few times, so I tried that now, then I took the tip into my mouth, lightly sucking so that I made a small popping sound when I pulled off.

He groaned and shifted so I repeated the action, this time rubbing my tongue over the most sensitive part of the tip. I began to bob my head, timing it to the movements of my hand and getting quicker as he seemed to become more excited.

"Not that I object," Loki said his voice deep and raspy, "but if you don't stop soon, I will come in your mouth."

Could I really make him come just using my hands and mouth? I knew he'd done so to me but the idea I could do the same was oddly empowering, so I sped my movements up further and seconds later, almost choked as he spilled his seed since despite his warming, I hadn't expected it.

His semen tasted very salty, not bad but not exactly pleasant either, so I wanted to spit it out.

I held it in my mouth and looked to Loki, hoping he would be distracted and I could discreetly dispose of it, but he was watching me carefully.

He sat up and raised a hand to my cheek.

"Can you swallow it? For me?"

I felt about ten feet tall right now, I would do anything for him, so I nodded then gulped it down. It wasn't as bad as I expected and his warm smile was more than enough to make up for any slight unpleasantness.

"Good girl," he told me. "That was amazing," he said as he pulled me against him and lay back down, "and as soon as I'm recovered, I'll show you exactly how much I appreciated it."

"You really liked it?"

"Are you jesting?" he asked. "Put it this way," he continued. "I was a hair's breath away from pushing you off and fucking you raw, and only the fact I'm a gentleman and I had given my word stopped me. That's how turned on you had me."

I smiled and although my own itch had yet to be scratched, I was content to wait for my reward, which I had no doubt would come very soon.

* * *

 **Loki's Point of View**

As I entered the forest, just over two months after meeting Cara for the first time, I finally had a plan to get her in the castle.

I could feel her tracking me as I headed to our meeting spot but I had no idea where she might be. I can sense her because she's a magical being, and I when know when she was around because of that. In fact, that was the reason I'd tried to capture her the day we met, because I could feel her magic.

She was clearly a talented hunter though because without that sense, I would have no idea she was there.

Once at our meeting spot I sat down and waited for her to change and come out. She usually wore clothing when she appeared, which I would only have to take off, but today I had more important things on my mind than sex.

She came and sat down beside me and I turned to kiss her, relaxing in her presence.

Unlike almost everyone else I knew, Cara was easy to be around. It's not that she didn't expect anything from me (although compared to many, her demands were exceedingly light) but it was more that she seemed to instinctively understand me, while I felt slightly out of step around most people.

"What's wrong?" she asked, knowing already that something was different today.

"Nothing's wrong," I explained. "I have good news, actually."

She smiled, eager to hear but slightly wary.

"I think I have a way for you to stay in the palace permanently."

"In the kennels or stables?" she sounded slightly horrified.

"Do you really believe I think so little of you?" I demanded.

"I- no." she hung her head. "I'm sorry, Loki, I just don't understand why you'd want someone like me to live with you."

I rolled my eyes. "Because I care about you."

She caught my eye briefly but quickly looked away. "There's a big difference between fucking someone and wanting to live with them."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, thank you," was my snippy reply.

I wasn't going to fill in the blanks for her; flowery declarations of love and affection were Fandral's domain, not mine. Besides, if she didn't know how I felt about her from my behaviour, a few words weren't going to convince her.

"I'm sorry," she looked into my eyes finally. "I just find it hard to believe that someone like you could be interested in me."

"No harm done." I smiled. "Now do you want to hear my plan?"

"Please." She nodded.

"I've been doing a lot of reading and I've found two things which might help. First, there's a long tradition of warriors going into battle with animals by their side. It fell out of fashion a few millennia ago now, other than horses, but there is a very definite history of warriors training an animal as his second."

"So you want me to go into battle with you?"

"Not exactly, I just need a precedent. As well as that, and this tradition is far more recent, I've discovered that some sorcerers and other practitioners of magic used to keep what's known as a familiar, an animal companion."

She looked confused as to how this would help and I couldn't blame her. Truth be told, my plan was rather hasty but I was getting sick and tired of making love to her in the forest. It was romantic occasionally, but every day was tiresome. Besides, she was essentially homeless and when I lived in a luxurious palace, it felt wrong to leave her out here to fend for herself.

"What we need to do," I explained, "is have you prove your worth."

"How?"

"You must perform a feat of heroism."

"I don't understand."

"You have to save my life."

She was frowning and I knew I wasn't explaining things well. Sometimes my desire to keep her close, rendered my famed silver tongue all but useless.

"All right, this is what I propose. I'll go on a solo hunting trip and happen across a bilgesnipe; there's a young one living not far from here that I'll let hurt me, probably in the leg so I'm unable to walk, but I won't let it seriously harm me. You will then go to the palace and get the attention of someone and bring them to me, thus saving my life. I will tell of the heroism you displayed in scaring the bilgesnipe away, and they will be so grateful to you that when I request you be allowed to stay with me, they will agree."

"That sounds dangerous," she was hesitant, but she didn't know Odin like I did, and he valued heroism, even in animals.

"It will work," I assured her. "I promise." I had some doubts but I couldn't let her see that.

"You're lying," she asserted, which took me back slightly.

"I'm not-"

"You have a very distinct scent when you lie," she explained, "and I've seen you lie to a lot of people while I was with you in the palace."

"All right, it may not work, but if everything goes to plan and I play my hand well, it has a very good chance of succeeding."

"Okay, but what if one of them senses that I'm more than just a jaguar? You told me I had to keep my distance from people while I was ill, in case they could sense that I'm magical."

"I've already thought of that, we can explain your magic as being a residue from potion I was feeding you. Besides which, if you're with me, as you will be most of the time, everyone will assume the magic they sense comes from me, not you."

She pressed her lips together and I left her to think it over. I probably could badger her into this but I wanted her to firstly, trust me and secondly, want to come and live with me.

"Can't we carry on as we are?" she asked.

"If that's what you want then yes, of course we can but if you are accepted into the royal house, you can go anywhere I do. Remember the opera I was telling you about? You can accompany me. You can go around the town with me, have access to the whole palace, even accompany me on visits to other realms."

I could see how tempted she was but she remained cautious.

"Explain it to me again?" she asked, so I did.

* * *

 **Cara's Point of View**

Four days later, as I headed to the location Loki had given me, I heard the cry of a bilgesnipe and my heart sank. I looked to the sun and knew I wasn't early, but I highly doubted that this creature would go on two rampages in one day, so Loki must have come early.

I took off, running as fast as I could, and glad I was already in my jaguar form and didn't need to waste time undressing and changing.

Given the extreme reservations I'd had about this whole plan and the two days I'd spent trying to argue him out of it, it would be just like Loki to get here early, taking the choice from my hands and denying me a final opportunity to try and talk him around.

As I was now discovering, he could be so stubborn sometimes!

I might hate him for being so reckless and headstrong, if he wasn't doing all of this for me.

I ran into the clearing and almost barrelled straight into an adult bilgesnipe! The thing was huge, easily 15 times the size of both Loki and I. Off to the side of the clearing though I could see a young bilgesnipe, the one Loki had intended to enrage. Obviously its Mummy hadn't been too far away.

Bilgesnipe are usually solitary animals, and junior here certainly looked old enough to have left home, so I couldn't understand why his mother was still around. It would be just my luck that we should get either a bilgesnipe who looked older than his real age, or one who had formed an abnormally long lasting bond with its parent.

Right now Loki was using his illusions to try and distract the larger one away from the real him, but bilgesnipe are not smart animals, especially when enraged, and sophisticated tricks don't work on them. The creature was now simply turning in a wide circle, thrashing it's antlers about and kicking its hind legs, all in the hope of hitting something.

There was only one sure way to get the big one to leave Loki alone, and I set my sights on the younger one, running at it with the loudest roar I have ever produced. As it saw me, it ran for me, clearly looking for a fight, and I adjusted my pace. Bilgesnipe are big but not agile so when I suddenly jumped up onto a branch just moments before we should have connected, the creature carried on into the tree behind me.

Unfortunately it didn't hit hard enough to do itself any damage and after a shake, it came at me again. I let it chase me, slowing down as I prepared to jump at another branch and leaving Junior to hit the trunk. Unfortunately for me, since it's hard to accurately judge the speed of something behind you, its antler stabbed me in the side as I jumped. I just reached the branch and by digging my claws in, I thought I would manage to cling on but when the bilgesnipe hit the trunk, the force was enough to shake me loose and send me crashing to the ground, through smaller branches that scraped and scratched me on my way.

The small one let out a wail that almost made me feel sorry for it, until I remembered that these creatures attack almost as a form of sport, they're so big that hardly anything can fell them, and they always seemed to be like bullies who pick on other, weaker animals just because they can.

Luckily I've shared a forest with them for long enough to know that as infants, they do have a strong familial bond so as soon as Junior cried out, Mummy forgot all about Loki and ran over to investigate his cries.

Unfortunately that meant that Mama was now on her way over to me, so although I was hurt and worried about Loki, I kept absolutely still, trying to blend in with the soil.

Mama dragged junior to its feet and then did some strange manoeuvre to hoist the smaller one up onto her back and as she lumbered away with him, I breathed easily again.

I rushed over to Loki and saw that he was in a bad way; he had been gored in his side, his knee appeared to be broken and he had a head wound that was bleeding badly.

I changed back and crouched by his side.

"Loki?"

"Didn't quite… go to plan," he managed to say, then his eyes closed, and no matter what I did I couldn't wake him.

The plan had been to leave him and return with help, but he was losing so much blood that I didn't think he could wait, to say nothing of how worried the head wound made me. However, if I walked up to the palace looking like a part Jotun and with Loki in this state, I'd be shot on sight!

There was no choice, I had to take him as a jaguar.

Luckily, being half Jotun, I am rather stronger than the average Vanir, and I'm even stronger when I'm in my jaguar form. I'm larger than most jaguars I'd seen pictures of and most of my weight was muscle.

I undid his baldric strap that went over his shoulder and looped it around his torso, under his arms, letting the buckle slide as tight as it could go. I hauled him onto my back, holding him diagonally so than when I bent forward, his head was over my right shoulder and his legs dangled by my left hip. I took the strap between my teeth and transformed into a jaguar, knowing I'd be faster in that form.

He was heavy and I bit down hard on the leather so it couldn't pull out of my wickedly sharp teeth, and took off as fast as I dared run. Luckily my gait was fairly smooth so I don't think he got too jostled, but the trip was exhausting for me. We were about three miles from the palace and I knew I had no time to waste, so I pushed myself as hard as I dared.

Once I reached civilisation I considered stopping, but I was so close now and besides, someone running with Loki over their shoulder might jostle him too much, and by the time they had made some kind of stretcher and jogged all the way, I knew I would be much faster.

I remembered the way in from when we left and the guards were so shocked by the sight of me with their prince on my back, they didn't try to stop me, but they did run after me.

I didn't know much of the place but Loki had pointed out a few places when he took me outside each night, and I headed for the one person I knew would help, Frigga's rooms.

I dropped the leather strap and rolled Loki of my back as gently as I could, then roared as loudly, jumping up and hitting the door with my front paws in my imitation of a knock.

The guards who were chasing after me caught up at the same time as Frigga opened her door, but the guards were aiming their swords at me.

"Stand back, my queen, this beast has attacked the prince!" some heathen of a guard proclaimed.

With my job done, I simply laid down beside Loki, put my head on my paws and mewled mournfully.

"Don't be foolish, wild animals don't bring their kills back to their families," Frigga chastised, kneeling on the other side of Loki. "He's been gored by something long, he's lost a lot of blood, get him to the healing rooms, now!"

One guard stepped forward and picked Loki up in his arms, running deeper into the palace with Frigga running beside him.

I got up to follow but was met with a sword blocking my path.

"Out!" one guard yelled at me. "The palace is no place for dangerous creatures like you. Go on, shoo!"

The guards were ganging up on me now, forming a line and I knew I didn't stand a chance of being allowed to accompany Loki, so with a sorrowful wail, I turned and headed out of the palace, my head low from exhaustion.

Once outside I laid down in some shade and put my head between my paws, watching the entrance to the palace. The guards seemed to consult with each other for a few moments, then evidently decided to chase me away again. I roared at the one who came to do it, my hackles up as I prepared to pounce but he got the message and took a step back, so I settled back down.

They conferred once more but it seemed that none of the guards particularly wanted to hack a jaguar to death in such a public place (they didn't even stop to consider that I might win a fight) so they let me be, keeping an eye on me in case I should start to pose a threat.

I was dreadfully tired, hungry and thirsty, not to mention in quite a bit of pain from my own injuries, but I couldn't leave.

I was aware that waiting patiently here would help Loki's case that I had chosen to be his familiar but there was nothing conniving about my actions, I just needed to know if Loki was all right.

* * *

I'm not sure how long I waited there but I eventually fell asleep, awaking near dusk. I pricked my ears up for any news but no one around me was discussing Loki.

I was feeling very thirsty now so I got up and made my way to a ceremonial fountain. My side throbbed from where the younger bilgesnipe had caught me with its antler and my right front leg was very tender, and I realised I must have pulled a muscle while running.

I drank my fill, then I settled back down where I had been.

The guards were still watching me closely and I heard them say that once night came and the place quieted down, they would run me off.

I'd like to see them try.

Groups of people were constantly going in and out of the palace but not a single one was talking about Loki. I was getting a lot of stares though.

Hello! Your prince just got skewered like a spit roast, couldn't one or two of you gossip about him? Please?

Finally, as night was falling, I saw Thor exiting the palace with two friends. I hauled myself to my feet and limped over, blocking his path.

"What the "

I mewled.

"Cara?"

I mewled and stepped forward.

"I'm sorry, your Highness," one of the guards stepped forward, "she's been lying out here most of the day, we didn't want to hurt her with so many people around."

"Can't you see she's bleeding!" Thor snapped at the guard. "Why didn't you call an animal healer?"

"My Lord, she's a wild animal!"

"Who, if the accounts are to be believed, saved my brother's life." Thor turned to his blonde friend. "I'm going to fetch mother, I have a feeling she'll know something about this. In the meantime, don't let them drive her away."

His friend nodded and Thor took off, jogging into the palace.

"Let me take a look at you," the blonde man said, slowly approaching.

I sat down and yowled softly. I knew I shouldn't let him near me but I needed to know about Loki. Thor said I had saved his life but that didn't mean he wasn't seriously hurt. Why wouldn't anyone say anything?

Thor's friend got closer and although I wanted help, or even just a bit of comfort, I growled at him. He took the hint and sat on his haunches, watching me and talking soothingly.

It didn't take long until Frigga came out.

"Why didn't anyone tell me she was still here?"

"I don't know, mother, but she seems to be in a poor state." Thor explained as they jogged over.

As much as I hated to do it, I growled at her when she tried to approach me.

"I know you're scared," she spoke soothingly to me, "but we're just trying to help you." I whimpered.

"Is she waiting for Loki?" Fandral asked.

My head whipped around quickly, I desperately wanted to know.

"It seems so," Frigga replied. "She's obviously formed a strong bond with him." She not looked to me and addressed me. "If you come inside and let me tend your wounds, I'll let you know Loki's condition."

I didn't know what to do for the best. I couldn't let her get close to me because of Loki's warnings; she was a powerful sorcerer and would know something was odd about me, she probably already knew, in fact, but I wasn't sure I had the strength to keep growling at everyone.

If they would just tell me, I could slope off back to the forest and tend my own wounds.

Frigga reached out a hand and I growled softly. I liked her, I really wouldn't hurt her, but I also didn't want to be killed for being a spy.

"All right, I can see you don't trust us. How about if I take you to Loki's rooms. We can get you some food and water, and I can look up the healing potion he made for your last time, it worked wonders. Plus you'll be there to see Loki when he's released from the healing rooms."

That sounded reasonable, and it would be lovely to sleep surrounded by his scent, then I would be with him in spirit if not in person.

"Come on," Frigga coaxed, getting to her feet and gently calling me as she backed away.

I stood up on shaky legs and prepared to follow her inside.

"Mother, would you like us to come?" Thor asked.

"More people will probably spook her more. You go about your business, I'll take care of Cara."

Thor accepted her words without a second thought, and I realised she must be highly respected. Not even the guards dared to question her as we entered, me trailing after the Queen of the realm, leaving bloody paw prints on her nice floors.

Loki's rooms looked just as I remembered and I instantly relaxed a little, just being near his things.

"The bed he made for you last time are still here," she said as she opened the bedroom doors. "Make yourself at home and I'll see about brewing some more of that potion."

I made my way over to the pile of furs that Loki had got for me when I was ill and collapsed into them. I desperately wanted to sleep but I still didn't know how Loki was doing.

A few moments later Frigga came back in with a bottle and a bowl.

"We're in luck, he had some left." She approached me slowly and knelt down by my head, then she poured the contents of the bottle into the bowl. "I think you should take it all, you look almost as bad as Loki did."

I whined as she passed me the bowl.

"Of course, I haven't told you, have I?"

I began to lap up the milky liquid as she continued.

"Loki is doing well, we've almost healed his wounds, but his head injury is more troubling. We've done what we can and once healed, we expect him to awaken naturally, so there's no need to worry. Of course, he's my son, so I can't help but worry. No matter how good the prognosis, I won't be happy until he's awake and able to assure me himself that he's okay."

I gave a sigh of relief.

"I have a feeling you feel the same, no?"

I just stared at her, unwilling to reveal that I could understand every word she said.

"What is it between you and Loki?" she asked, although I assumed it was rhetorical. I had finished the potion so I began grooming myself, trying to appear disinterested in everything she was saying. "I can see that there's a strong bond between you but… He's so hard to read sometimes." She sighed. "Anyway, I'll see about getting you some food then I'll leave you in peace. With any luck, Loki will be awake before morning."

That would be wonderful.

I continued to lick myself but I wouldn't really feel clean until I could have a swim, but this would have to do for now because no way was I leaving to take a dip in what I had come to think of as my lake.

Frigga returned with a large portion of steak and while it went against all the manners I had been taught as a child, I was ravenous and tucked into the food with abandon. I hardly noticed Frigga stroking my flanks until I thought back to that moment after she'd left.

I debated running away, just in case she knew what I was, but I couldn't leave. Come hell or high water, I had to stay until Loki awoke.

He wasn't just my lover, he was my best friend. My only friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

 **Loki's POV**

My muscles felt leaden, my head pounded and every nerve ending in my body seemed to be screaming, but my only thought was for her.

"Cara," I rasped, trying desperately to open eyes that wanted to remain closed.

"Hush, Loki, you're safe now." Frigga took my hand and I squeezed it gently.

"Cara was there. She protected me. She's hurt."

"She brought you back here, to us."

"Is she "

"She's fine," she reassured me, and I relaxed slightly. "She wouldn't let us treat her, so I gave her some of the healing potion you made and left her resting in your rooms."

Now I knew I needed to get to her, to make sure she really was all right. The potion was good, but it couldn't work a miracle.

"She's very special, isn't she?" Frigga asked as I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the healing table. "Loki! You need to rest!" she admonished me.

"I'd rather rest in my own bed than on this hard surface." I was about to jump down but Frigga stood in front of me, blocking my path.

"All right, all right, just let Eir take a final look at you, then I'll escort you back to your rooms." "Mother "

"Loki, I must insist. Cara is fine, I assure you."

I realised that cooperating would likely get me discharged quicker, so I allowed her to fetch Eir and waited patiently while she examined me. I was advised to have complete bedrest for 24 hours and to take things very easy for at least two weeks, then finally I was released and Frigga escorted me back to my room.

My left leg, the one I had intended to injure, still throbbed but I knew from past experience that it would heal without any problems, providing I was careful.

It was still dark out.

"How long was I unconscious?" I asked.

"Fourteen hours."

Cara must have been so worried.

"What were you doing in the forest?" Frigga asked me. The journey was taking in interminably long time due to my sore leg.

"I was hunting."

"Bilgesnipe?"

"Well I was thinking more along the lines of a stag, maybe a quarlo. I didn't plan on coming across a bilgesnipe and its mother."

Well, the latter part was true. Why didn't I account for there being an older bilgesnipe in the area? Well that was simple, because I was an idiot, because I didn't do my homework properly, because I was so keen to find a way for Cara to join me that I got as sloppy as Thor.

"And why was Cara there?"

"I'm not sure," I remembered my well-rehearsed story, only now it had far more truth than originally intended. "She's been following me sometimes, when I venture into the woods. I hardly ever see her but I think the potion I gave her had side effects in that it imbibed her with a little magic, so I can feel her when she's close. You've probably noticed."

"I have. So tell me what happened?"

"I happened across a young bilgesnipe first and thought I could handle its aggression with few problems, until its mother appeared. I believed myself a dead man, until Cara showed up. Somehow she got the attention of the younger one and in turn, its parent. The rest of the encounter is fuzzy, but I remember her looking down at me. She must have come back here for help."

"She carried you back here herself," Frigga said, but her tone was hard to decipher. Part of me wanted to ask if she knew what Cara was, but the larger part of me wanted to go on believing that my plan would work, that we could be together, in some fashion.

"How?" I asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Your baldric was under your arms and she dragged you by the end of that strap. Surely you remember that, you must have helped her?"

I couldn't suddenly change my story.

"After the attack was over, I don't remember much of anything. Snatches, snapshots, I'm not sure what's real and what's a dream."

"Well, she brought you back here and straight to my door."

"But if she knew to do that, the potion must have enhanced her intelligence somehow. It's possible that it healed any damaged neural connections. Or perhaps created new ones."

"Perhaps," Frigga smiled. "She's very brave."

"I've never met another creature like her," I said honestly.

"I think it's safe to say we can't return her to the wild now."

"No?" I was genuinely surprised by her words, I was expecting to have to do a lot more convincing. I was also a little fearful, wondering if she knew the truth.

"Obviously the potion you gave her has enhanced her natural abilities in some ways, and you have clearly forged a strong bond with each other. No, as long as she wants to stay, it would be cruel to send her away."

"Father won't allow such a thing," I scoffed, sounding just a little downhearted.

"Oh, I don't know. There is a tradition, you know, for practitioners of magic to have a familiar."

"I recall reading something like that. That was an age ago though."

"Not quite that long, but yes, the practice has fallen out of favour. In truth though, few people, even sorcerers knew what it meant to have a true familiar, they just kept pets to enhance their image." "You mean ?"

"That the familiar chooses the sorcerer, not the other way around. For whatever reason, Cara has chosen you, Loki, and that is a gift that not even Odin dare defy."

I wasn't so sure about that, but having mother on my side would certainly help my cause.

"Of course, you will have to train her, we can't have a wild animal wandering the halls, snacking on servants and small children," she teased me.

"Oh, I don't know, I can think of a few people I wouldn't mind feeding to her."

"Aah, your sense of humour is returning," Frigga smiled. "Now I know you're going to be all right."

I smiled in reply.

"I'll arrange for a late breakfast to be sent to your room and I'll come by at lunchtime," Frigga said as we entered my rooms. "I'll keep visitors away today but I'm sure everyone will want to see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Mother."

I turned and embraced her, pulling away when I heard a whimper. Looking towards the source of the noise, I saw Cara limping from the bedroom, her fur matted with blood and other debris. She tried her best to run on three legs but she looked exhausted.

"Cara," My heart seemed to swell painfully as I recalled that she got into this state protecting me and I got down on one knee (the good one) as she approached. "Thank you," I said, putting my arms around her and tangling my fingers in her silky soft fur, as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I wanted to say more but to her but I couldn't with Frigga still in the room.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone to sleep. I'll have a servant ready to attend to you in the morning so please try and obey Eir."

"I will, mother," I assured her, leaning away from Cara and stroking her flank, trying to show rather than state my affection.

Cara looked at me, then laid her head in my palm in what I assume was a show of gratitude. It was such a simple gesture but at the same time, so meaningful. She clearly didn't hold my misjudgement against me, despite it being my fault she was hurt.

I was the one who should be grateful, not the other way around.

"And don't worry about Cara," Frigga said as she moved towards my door. "I'll talk to Odin and make sure she can stay."

"Thank you, mother."

Frigga left and I placed a tender kiss on Cara's forehead, which she answered by nuzzling me. "Now, let's see what we can do for you," I said, limping over to my desk where I brewed my various potions. Cara bit my coat and tugged, trying to drag me towards the bedroom.

"In a moment, love."

She tugged harder.

"I've been healed but you haven't, so you either drag me away, kicking and screaming, or I'm making this potion for you."

She huffed but let go of my coat and sat down to watch me. Once I had collected the ingredients I needed, I sat down too; my leg really wasn't up to much yet.

"I've revised the formula since you were last here," I explained, "and I think it will be much more effective."

Cara made a noise that sounded like a chuff of approval and rested her head on the desk.

"Have you tried changing?" I asked.

She blinked twice, 'no'.

"Then I suggest you don't for now. People will be in and out at inopportune moments for the next few days and it will look suspicious if I have the door locked. Besides, you need all your energy for healing." I looked up from the potion. "Do you mind?"

She blinked twice.

I finished the mixture and poured a dose into a bowl for her and while she lapped it up, I bottled the rest then retrieved a topical healing cream from the shelves.

Together we limped into the bedroom, looking quite a mess, I'm sure, and I urged Cara up onto the bed, not caring if the sheets got dirty. She sat patiently while I gently applied the cream to her various wounds and scrapes, flinching only occasionally when I found a deeper wound.

"Most should be healed by tomorrow," I explained. "Superficially at least, and with minimal scarring. The deeper ones will take longer but you should be fine in under a week."

I moved onto the scrapes on her muzzle where she had fallen from the tree, and in between applying the cream I kept looking into her beautiful blue eyes, wondering that this majestic creature had got these injuries protecting me.

Once I had finished, I held her gaze.

"I should have listened to you, I'm sorry." I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Thank you, Cara, I think I owe you my life." Cara replied by sticking her tongue out and licking my neck.

I smiled and we both settled down to rest, Cara placed her head on my abdomen, her right front paw on my thigh, and my hand came to rest on her shoulder, lightly stroking her midnight black fur as I wondered what I had done to deserve having a creature this magnificent in my life.

The weight of her head was oddly reassuring and as she began to purr softly, I smiled.

"Goodnight, darling."

In reply, she extended the claws on her right paw just enough to be felt, before withdrawing them. With any luck, we would both be feeling a good deal better by morning.

* * *

 **Cara's Point of View**

The first day with Loki was very quiet, with visits only from servants bringing meals or when summoned, and one visit from Frigga, both to see how we were doing and to tell Loki that Odin had agreed for me to become his familiar, providing I wasn't held captive at all so that if I ever wished to leave, I was free to do so.

She then offered to escort me outside so that Loki could rest.

Loki assured her that he could do it but Frigga was insistent, so I found myself following the Queen out to her gardens. I ducked behind a bush while she waited by the door and when I returned, she gave me an enigmatic smile.

"You're very clever for an animal," she told me, "Which is not unusual. Modesty however... well, I've never come across that before."

My heart pounded as I wondered if she knew the truth but I couldn't tell from her tone or her smile if she was just talking aloud, or if she was talking to me.

"Come on," she said, turning and heading back inside. "Loki will be getting anxious."

We walked in silence for a while, her footsteps echoing softly off the corridors.

"I think you'll be very good for Loki," she suddenly proclaimed.

I wondered if she meant as a pet, or as a lover. It was a good job I was in cat form and didn't feel much fear because as a person, I would probably have been hyperventilating and passing out by now.

"He's a good man but he's so often overshadowed by his brother. I'm glad he's found something of his own."

I eyed her warily, unsure what to make of her words.

If she knew I was a shapeshifter, why was she letting me hide in my animal form? Why not demand to meet me and ask why I was here? What Queen would allow a shapeshifter to freely roam the halls of the palace, and be alone with her, if she didn't know the shifters agenda? It was madness, and Frigga seemed very sensible to me.

No, she must not know the truth. There was a sister at the orphanage who used to talk aloud, she said it helped her to order her thoughts, so perhaps Frigga did the same thing.

Loki seemed relieved when we got back and I hopped up on the bed.

"You shouldn't let her sleep with you," Frigga chided. "It sets a bad precedent."

"Once we're both recovered, I'll buy her a proper bed, mother. In the meantime, while I'm virtually immobile, I want her close."

"Very well," she smiled.

Her words relaxed me because if she knew I was a shifter, she wouldn't even think of getting an animal bed, because she would know I would share Loki's.

She went on to explain that I would also need to be trained and as soon as Loki was feeling better, she suggested he should visit the kennels for some training tips.

I would have rolled my eyes if I could have; trained like a dog! Ha!

Instead I simply huffed and let my head fall sideways onto Loki's legs.

Frigga smiled at my antics but once she had gone, Loki warned me about appearing too intelligent, repeating his warning about anyone discovering my true nature.

I let out a low growl, my way of apologising, and butted my head against him, asking for forgiveness.

He scratched behind my ears so I knew he wasn't mad at me.

* * *

The next day Loki remained in bed for all but the necessities but we had a procession of visitors to keep us entertained. First came Thor, then one by one Loki's warrior friends visited, next an old tutor he still seemed friendly with, followed by an under librarian. I was careful to either flinch away from or growl at anyone who tried to pet me, my reaction depending on how enthusiastic they were.

After lunch Loki received a string of visits from three young women, bearing gifts of some description. I realised that like Vanir society, Aesir society must conduct business in the mornings, and social visits in the afternoon. I vividly remember being told that as a young woman, we could never receive or make social calls before early afternoon.

Of course, I flouted that rule when visiting my married friends from the orphanage after we left, mostly because they didn't want to risk me running into their other friends, thus my visits were always referred to as business. Considering that I worked as a cleaner at the church, it was hard to imagine what business people thought I might have had with them. I slowly came to resent their treatment of me more and more and by the time I left on my travels, I hadn't visited any of them in five years, not even when they had sent a note requesting I go and see them.

I did sometimes wonder if Loki would come to treat me with the same sense of shame that my friends had showed, but if that was true why was he pushing for more? And yes, I did have to hide while in the palace, but I genuinely believe it's for my own good. Were the Jotun not the enemies of Asgard, I was fairly certain that Loki would enjoy showing me off; he often seemed proud of me.

I pretended to doze beside Loki but I was actually listening intently to his conversations with these women, allowing my insecurities to come to the fore. At times Loki seemed a little uncomfortable with their presence but much like his mother, he was hard to read.

The first woman was a pretty blonde who seemed hopeful and slightly infatuated with Loki, but clearly had no real relationship with him. Blushing, she left after delivering some chocolates and making awkward small talk for five minutes.

The next lady was bolder and as soon as she saw me lying next to Loki, she headed straight for me.

"Oh my word, is this your new familiar? They told me you had a cat but I didn't realise it was a panther. He's so pretty, I "

She was irritating. I raised my head and growled at her, partly because Loki had warned me to keep my distance from people, but mostly because she was annoying. And maybe I was jealous.

Loki soothed her when she looked crestfallen that I wouldn't let her pet me.

" _She_ 's a jaguar, not a panther and she's familiar, not a pet, Maroli. Leave her to rest and come talk to me instead."

He sounded so solicitous and I couldn't help but think that if Loki chose this girl, he wouldn't have to hide her.

I slumped back to the bed and pouted until she left.

"There's no need for you to get huffy," Loki said once we were alone again, reaching out to stroke me. "She's a sweet girl so I'm kind to her, but she is just a girl. You have nothing to fear from her."

The next and thankfully, final female visitor of the day, was older, very classy and judging from the jewels she was draped in, filthy rich. Her name was Lady Dush. I hated her on sight and growled from the moment the servant showed her in.

She was beautiful, well mannered, well educated, well bred and in short, she was Loki's equal, something I could never be.

I was well mannered and educated, but they didn't come less well bred than me and I had nothing to my name. Even the few meagre possessions I had managed to accumulate were in the forest, and who knew if they would still be there when I went back.

I eventually got tired of hearing them flirt and jumped off the bed, ignoring Loki's calls as I headed through to his living area and curled up on the plush rug in front of the fire.

When she finally left half an hour later, Loki limped out and sat behind me, on the couch.

"You have nothing to fear from her, you know." He said softly.

I begged to differ but it's exceptionally hard to argue with someone when you can't talk.

"She pursued Thor initially," he went onto explain. "She intends to marry for money and status, not love, so when she failed to capture his attention, she turned her attentions to me."

I huffed.

"Yes, I led her on a little, but such false women deserve it, I think. I have no interest in my brother's castoffs, even before I met you, darling. I enjoy toying with her, that's all."

I was slightly appeased but she still seemed like a threat to me, and my animal instincts could not be appeased with words. Not that I was about to challenge her to a fight (although I took comfort in the fact that I could certainly beat her if I wanted to).

I heard his slight hiss of discomfort as he got onto the floor behind me but I didn't turn to him. He came and lay behind me, almost spooning me, and stroked a hand down my flank.

"Besides, she is as cold as an ice sculpture," he brought his lips to my ear, "and I like women with a little fire," he purred.

I twisted my head to glare at him and growled. I did not appreciate being aroused when I wasn't able to satisfy those desires.

"There she is," he smirked.

Fine, if he wanted to turn a jaguar on, then that's what he would get. I sprang to my feet, twisting in mid-air and bit his tunic, easily shredding it as I tossed my head from side to side. I grabbed another mouthful and did the same. It was just a thin indoor garment, so it was already in rags.

Loki's expression was oddly proud, with perhaps just a touch of fear. With a soft growl, I pulled the drawstring on his pants.

He reached out and sent a blast of magic towards the door and I heard the lock slide into place.

"It's safe," he assured me, so I changed into my person form, jumping on him, kissing and biting his lips while I tried to push his pants off his hips.

Loki wasn't having any of it though and he sat up, returning my rough treatment. I fought harder, not to escape, just to be in charge. I was still in cat mode to be honest, and I had never felt such primal, primitive passion before.

My fingers curled and my nails scratched down his back, hard enough to draw blood. Lithe fucker that he is though, Loki was able to reach behind himself and quickly caught my wrists before I could do too much damage. Wrapping his arms around me, he pinned my wrists together in the small of my back, easily holding both in one of his large hands.

I showed my displeasure by biting down on his shoulder and he yelled, then we began to struggle as he tried to turn me onto all fours. I fought with everything I had, wriggling, kicking and snapping at any body part that came close enough, but he eventually won.

He kept my neck pressed to the floor with one hand and his other still held my wrists. His knees were between mine so his dick was pressed into my crack and after a slight adjustment, he was sliding his cock along the length of my slit, rubbing my clit with each thrust.

He leaned over my back, further restricting me, and growled into my ear.

"You're so fucking wet, love. You want this, don't you?"

As if my trying to push my hips back into his, wriggling with what little room I had to try and catch his dick in my cunt wasn't enough of a clue.

"Tell me!" he commanded, tightening his hold on my neck and wrists.

"I love it," I admitted. "Now are we going to play all day, or are you going to fuck me?"

Apparently those were the magic words and he slid into me with one smooth motion, stretching me tightly, filling me. I let out a guttural moan.

As he thrust into me I kept fighting, but I wasn't trying to get away, I just wanted more. I needed him to force me, even though I wanted this. Big cats don't make love, the females are claimed by the most dominant male but in order to ensure he is strong enough to protect her and any cubs from other males, she fights him, tooth and claw.

I was trapped in that instinct now and Loki was proving himself more than worthy of being my protector.

I let out some kind of inhuman shriek as I felt my climax approaching.

I don't know if he knew how felines behaved or if it was just instinct, but Loki moved his hand from my neck and leaning down, replaced it with his teeth, biting down on the flesh where my neck met my shoulder, stopping just short of drawing blood.

I screamed as I came, my sheath clamping down on his cock in the most powerful orgasm I'd had to date. Loki managed a few more thrusts that to me, felt even tighter than usual, then he spilled his seed in me.

He collapsed on top of me, releasing my wrists but possessively wrapping his arms around my waist as he turned up both onto our sides.

"Mine," he growled.

I didn't have the strength to agree but he was right, and we _both_ knew it.

* * *

The next day we ventured out and looked around the castle. Although he had some pain, Loki could walk well enough, and he insisted on leaving his rooms, claiming that looking at the same four walls was driving him insane.

He was still under strict orders not to fight for at least a week though, and Frigga had warned him that if he injured the same knee again too soon, it may never heal properly.

As long as he could get around though, Loki didn't seem too bothered by that restriction and explained to me that he could still practice with his throwing daggers and his sorcery thus, unlike many of the other warriors who relied only on weapons, he wouldn't actually be very hindered by his inability to engage in physical combat.

Other than the odd twinge in my side, I felt fine physically; my leg wasn't nearly so severely damaged as Loki's had been, I just had a sprain, plus Loki was right, his cream had healed all my wounds with hardly any scarring. He still put the cream on the site where I was skewered by an antler, as that was going to scar but Loki assured me the applying the cream would help a lot. It wasn't very visible when I was in cat form but as a person, it was rather ugly and had puckered the skin slightly on the right side of my abdomen.

Loki took me all around about half of the castle that first morning, and that wasn't including the servants' rooms, the living quarters (other than the wing his family lived in) or the restricted areas, such as the armoury and weapons vault. The place was huge, probably the same size as a small town, so to properly explore everywhere would probably have taken a week.

We joined his friends for lunch in the warriors dining hall. The palace actually had nearly 50 various dining halls, with separate ones for warriors, the Einherjar (that's the king's guard to you and me), the regular infantry, a few different ones for the various types of servants, then there were the official ones, those for the nobility, then royalty, plus each wing had a small communal dining hall for the residents of that wing and of course, there were ones saved for official banquets, three different halls in total, depending on the size and type of event being held.

Having helped run the orphanage, where we had rotas and we all had to help in some way, mostly with cooking, cleaning and laundry, I was eager to see how the servants' areas worked, because it must run like a military operation to take care of so many people. Loki had said we couldn't go down there and disturb them but I was a cat and rules like that don't apply to animals, so I was sure I could wander down there at some point and poke around.

Not yet though. I noticed that most people still gave me a wide berth, and I could understand why, I looked like a wild animal, so I would wait until my presence here was normal before taking off on my own.

I watched as Loki ate, but none of the food was coming my way, so I laid on the floor behind him and with a heavy sigh, laid my head on my paws. I hadn't eaten since this morning and changing into my feline form had taken a lot of my energy, so I was feeling hungry now. Not starving, I could easily go a week as a cat without eating, but the delicious smells were making me salivate, which wasn't helping.

"Someone feels left out," Fandral said, turning in his seat to look down at me.

I chuffed in reply and he held his hand out towards me.

"I'd be careful," Loki cautioned. "She might eat your hand."

I glared at Loki's back as Fandral withdrew his hand and the conversation at the table carried on for a few minutes. Then I smelt food very close and looked up to see Fandral discreetly holding a whole sausage out behind him. I looked to Loki, who was busy chatting with Thor on the opposite side of the table, and slid forward enough to snatch the nibble from the blonde man. I kept my beady eye on him and a few minutes later, a whole chicken breast came my way. I quickly licked his hand in thanks before accepting it.

That was my lot for now as the group soon broke up and went their separate ways.

After lunch we headed to the training ground. The fighting went on in the morning but in the afternoon, it was given over to lessons, so people could brush up on weaknesses they noticed that morning.

Fandral was there, teaching sword skills to some of the infantry, and Sif was teaching another group unarmed combat. Considering that most of the men she was teaching were twice her size, she took them down with ease.

Loki asked someone to help him set up a target, a mannequin made of cork on a solid metal base, and he pinned, a series of small lengths of ribbon to them, mostly over key attack points, such as major arteries and nerve bundles.

He then placed a chair perpendicular to the target, rather than straight on, and began to throw his daggers. His accuracy was uncanny, even at such a strange angle and although he was sitting still due to his leg, I was still impressed with his accuracy.

Once he had run out of daggers he went and pulled them out, then moved the chair further back, adding ten feet or so to the distance, and facing the opposite way to before.

While he threw, I looked around and spotted a basket full of throwing knives, probably for others to practice with. I approached and saw that they were not nearly as nice nor as sharp as Loki's were, then I upended the basket with a paw and carried it back, placing it behind Loki.

Once he was finished, he made to get up again but I blocked his path and gave a soft, short growl.

Loki tilted his head in confusion but didn't move, so I retrieved the basket and approached the mannequin. I bit the dagger handles and they slipped out easily enough, then I placed them in the basket. I had to rear up on my hind legs to reach the higher ones, but the base was sturdy and I was able to achieve it.

As I turned around to carry the basket back to Loki, I saw that he was smiling at me.

"Good girl," he said, scratching behind my ears as I placed the basket at his feet.

"Well done, Loki." We looked over to see Fandral smiling at us, his class watching too. "I didn't expect you to be able to train her so quickly."

"She has a few magical enhancements," Loki said, which wasn't a lie, I was a magical being. "And she chose me, don't forget, she wants to learn."

We continued like that for another hour or so and by the end, Loki was lying on the ground to throw his daggers.

* * *

For dinner that evening, we joined the family in their dining room, the communal one for their wing, and this was the first time I had met Odin.

Loki had warned me that he would be there, so I was on guard from the moment we entered as I knew how dangerous he could be to me.

"So this is the beast, hmm?" he said, casting his beady eye over me. "Well, bring her here, let me get a good look at her."

Loki walked over to his father but I stayed a few feet behind. Odin and Frigga were sat at opposite ends of a table that could seat up to six, although only 4 places were set and the chairs either side were clearly for Loki and Thor.

"Come closer," Odin urged me, gesturing with his hand for me to step forward.

I slowly advanced but my hackles were raised and I was growling softly.

"I thought you were training her to be safe?" Odin raised an eyebrow at Loki.

"She's only been here a few days, father, and she's still recovering from her injuries."

"Leave her be, Odin," Frigga spoke up. "She's Loki's familiar, not yours and she probably senses your magic, which often makes animals skittish."

"She doesn't seem to mind Loki's power."

"Loki found her when she was sick," Frigga reminded him. "Otherwise I'm sure she would have been wary of him too."

"Perhaps you're right." He turned back to the table and looked at Loki as he took a seat. "She's a fine looking animal."

"Thank you, father."

I sat beside Loki, between him and Frigga.

"I would say you chose well," Odin continued, "but if she chose you, then she is the lucky one."

"Who's lucky?" asked Thor as he entered.

"We were just talking about Cara," Frigga explained.

"Ah, well yes, it's exceptionally lucky, if you're into keeping pets." He took a seat opposite and I laid on the ground, stretching out just enough to reach Thor's shoes. I gently tugged on the laces until each was undone, hoping he might trip over them when he left.

To my surprise the laces then glowed green and the very ends knotted themselves to their opposite number.

I sat up and looked up at Loki, who winked at me and handed me a fish stick covered in breadcrumbs.

"Loki, don't be so unhygienic," Frigga chided.

"My apologies, mother."

"Why don't you send her back to your room while we eat."

"She hasn't caused any trouble at other meals."

"I can't help what you get up to when I'm not around, but it's unsanitary to feed a cat from the table and I won't have you doing so in my presence. Send her to your room, please. " Her tone brooked no argument and Loki gently ordered me to return to his quarters.

I wasn't at all sorry to be leaving to be honest, I was too frightened of Odin to want to stay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

 **Cara's Point of View**

I quickly settled into life at the palace and it wasn't long before people would ask about me if I wasn't with Loki.

Once he was healed, Loki trained for battle almost every day and as I sat and watched each training session, it began to worry me.

We had just made love and as we lay sated in front of the fireplace, I finally asked.

"Loki, why do you train so much?"

"Because otherwise I'll lose my edge."

"But why do you need to go into battle? Does Asgard often get into wars?"

"No, mostly it's more peacekeeping, we go in and settle skirmishes on other realms, before they become serious."

"But why do _you_ have to fight?" I propped up head up on my hand so I could look at him.

"I don't always, it depends on the mission." He was frowning, as though my questions confused him.

"But everyone in line to the throne goes into battle, so what happens to Asgard if you lose?"

"I'd never thought of that," he confessed. "In that light, it does seem rather reckless for Thor and I to go into battle together. Then again, we're a good team, so we might be in more danger if we were separated."

"But why do you have to go at all?" I demanded.

Loki tried to suppress a smile. "You're worried about this mission to Nifelheim," he surmised. "Honestly, it's just bandits; they might be dangerous to normal citizens but they pose no real threat to us."

"What if one of them gets lucky and strikes a fatal blow?" That was my real worry.

"Darling, you've seen how good our healers are, and it would take a miracle to get lucky enough to kill me."

That didn't appease me. "Can I go with you?"

"The battlefield is no place for you, Cara," he said kindly, but I took it as an insult.

"Why not? It's good enough for Sif!"

"But you would be going into battle as a jaguar."

"A bloody strong, half Frost Giant, jaguar!"

"That's as may be, but you haven't been trained for battle."

"Then train me."

"Cara," he sighed.

"You don't want to train me, do you, because you don't want me to get hurt. Can't you see that's how I feel about you?"

"Of course I can see, love, but I can hardly order men to risk their lives if I'm not willing to risk my own."

"And I'm not asking you to do that, I'm only asking that you take me with you."

"No!" he said forcefully. "I will not have you risking your life just because you're worried about me."

"You should have thought of that before picking a fight with a bilgesnipe! You didn't mind my help then, did you?"

"Look, I have to leave early in the morning," he said with a heavy sigh. "I'll think about it and we can discuss it more when I return."

I didn't really want to spend our last night together arguing, but constantly worrying about him and whether he was alright, was going to be hell. I settled into his side again.

"Promise you'll come back to me?"

"I promise I'll do everything in my power to come home to you, love."

That would have to do for now.

* * *

Loki had assigned me a servant while he was away, whose job it was to escort me around the palace, bring me food at regular intervals and 'handle me' should I cause any trouble. Of course, all handling consisted of was Loki telling the servant a few made up commands he had supposedly taught me.

The servant however, a man named Wancor, apparently didn't understand that he was there to look after me. Instead, almost as soon as Loki left, he tried to call me to heel and have me follow him around while he showed off the tame jaguar to his friends, as if he had been the one to train me or something.

When I growled at his friends (I'd promised Loki that I wouldn't allow anyone to get too close to me) he strung a chain around my neck and began to yank it when I disobeyed him and refused to perform the commands he gave me. It hurt and if he didn't stop soon, he would be my first Aesir meal.

Unfortunately the chain was rigged a like a lasso or a choke chain, so the more I pulled, the tighter the chain became. I played along for a little while but as he was taking me to the barracks to perform for more people, I saw my opportunity as I followed behind him.

I reared up and a strategically placed paw in the middle of his back, pushing him to the floor. Keeping my paws on his back so he couldn't move, I lowered my head and shook my whole body vigorously until the slackened chain slipped off, then I then ran to the Queen's gardens.

My throat was killing me from where he had tightened and yanked on the chain, so I lapped some of the icy cool water from her fountain to soothe it, then I found a nice patch of sunlight to bask in. I didn't think Wancor would dare to look for me here; because of the rare species she cultivated, this section of the Queen's garden was off limits to all but a few highly skilled servants.

Wancor eventually found me about three hours later and berated me for being a 'bad kitty', admonishing me to follow him. He chain he still held rattled menacingly as he spoke, but I was damned if I would let him place that around my neck again.

With my head resting between my front paws, I glared up at him, then did a massive yawn and flopped onto my side.

"Why you little shit! Come with me right now!"

I didn't move.

"You don't have permission to be in the Queen's garden!"

Well he might not, but the Queen herself had brought me here while Loki was recovering, so I was certain she wouldn't mind me lying on her lawn.

Wancour reached out with his free hand, probably to grab the scruff of my neck to he could reattach the chain and try to drag me away, but he hadn't counted on a cat's reflexes.

My jaw closed over his hand, my canines digging painfully into his flesh, and if I had bitten down and pulled, his hand would have been torn into three, but I didn't.

"All right, all right, I'm sorry!"

I didn't let him go, because I couldn't appear too clever and my understanding him would give the game away.

"It's alright, kitty, you're a good kitty, aren't you? Wancour's sorry he yelled at you," he tried to soothe me, and hearing him do this weird kind of baby talk was almost enough to make up for the indignities he had heaped upon me.

After a few long moments of this drivel, I let him go and he jumped back, clutching his hand to his chest as he walked around behind me. I probably should have known that he wouldn't like to be bested by an animal but I didn't, so I didn't expect him to kick out at me.

"You bloody bitch!" he said as his boot connected with my spine.

I leapt straight to my feet and in his fear, I easily tripped him as he ran. He turned onto his side, his hands raised to protect his face as I swiped at his hands with my sharp claws and roared at him. He simply cowered there, so I grabbed the back of his shirt and began to drag him, intending to dump him off the top of an artificial waterfall that was in the palace gardens.

"What's going on here?" Queen Frigga asked.

I sighed but didn't release Wancour.

"Your Highness, please, she just attacked me, look!" he held his hand out, which had the bleeding scratches I'd given him.

"Did she?" Frigga asked in an indecipherable tone. "Release him, Cara, then we'll see what really happened here."

Reluctantly, I let go of his shirt and Frigga knelt down beside Wancour and placed her hands either side of his head. A silvery shimmer seemed to spread out over the garden and left two ghostly figures in its wake, Wancour and me, from the moment he had entered the garden.

The words spoken were hard to hear, little more than a soft breeze, but Wancour's actions were impossible to misinterpret.

"I see," Frigga said as her spell caught up with the present and the figures faded into nothingness.

"Your Highness, please, I"

"I think I've heard enough from you," Frigga cast a beady eyed glare in his direction.

"But it attacked me!"

"I've been searching for you because word of your antics this morning reached me, of you dragging poor Cara around on a chain like some performing monkey. As for this incident, she gave you a warning but she didn't actually hurt you until after you kicked her. Your orders were to _care_ for Cara, not abuse her. Now return to your quarters and pack your things."

"But my Queen, please, she was being difficult, I was only trying to"

"It is a fact that anyone who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man, and I will not have such a man in my employ. Please pack your things and leave the palace before dinner."

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand and turned to me. I backed away from her as Wancour took off back to the palace.

"It's all right, Cara, I just want to make sure you aren't badly injured."

My throat was sore and my back ached a little and would probably bruise, but I knew I wasn't seriously hurt, and Loki wouldn't like me getting too close to his mother.

"Relax, Cara, you're in no danger from me."

She approached slowly, as though she was trying not to spook me, and I wondered if continuing to refuse her wasn't a bad idea. If she was worried, she would spend time trying to find ways to examine me which might make her more likely to discover my secret, so I sat down and allowed her to run her hands over me.

My flesh trembled slightly as she passed over the spot Wancour had kicked and she ran her hand over it a few times. After a few strokes, I felt a tingling sensation and realised that she was healing me. She did the same on my neck.

"There, all better."

I whined softly in thanks.

"Now, if you'd like to go back to sunbathing, I'll find someone else to take care of you."

I licked her hand in gratitude, then returned to find a nice warm spot.

* * *

 **Loki's Point of View.**

I usually enjoy fighting. Each skirmish feels like the ultimate battle of wits, with the highest possible stakes.

Not now though. This time I was distracted by Cara's worry for me and if I'm honest, I wanted to return home to her. It was all very well to do our duty to protect the realms, but the realms didn't keep me warm at night, did they? They didn't laugh at my pranks, nor grin when I mastered something new.

It was the little things I missed most about her though. The way she purred for example, such a soft, discrete noise yet at the same time, so affirming. The look she usually gave me before we had sex, a playful, coquettish glance from below hooded lashes. Or the way she gently rubbed her cheek against me when we cuddled, in both her human or her feline form.

The world felt colder without her by my side, and blanched of some of its colour.

"Are you alright, brother?" Thor came and sat beside me. We were camped for the night and sitting on logs around one of the many fire pits in the camp.

"Just thinking," I admitted.

"About anything in particular?"

"To be honest, I'm rather eager to return home," I admitted.

Thor nodded. "I agree, there is not much sport to rousting bandits from their hiding places, but it must be done."

Of course; Thor missed the thrill of battle, while I missed home.

"It's a shame we don't have your Cara," Fandral spoke up.

"Why?" I snapped, still not at all sure I wanted her to go into battle. For selfish reasons, yes, it would be nice to have her here, but I was discovering that it wasn't always easy to be selfish when it came to Cara.

"Just that she could no doubt sniff out our quarry better than we could," Fandral shrugged off my terse remark. "Besides, she's always at the training grounds with you and some of the men have started to think of her as something of a mascot."

"It might be worth considering training her for the battlefield, Loki," Thor agreed with his friend. "She could have her own armour made up and if we ever have a situation like this again, she could come and help."

"It's too dangerous. Plus, she's a wild animal, don't forget."

Fandral began laughing. "You wouldn't know it from the way she licks my hand at the dinner table, begging for scraps."

"Pardon?" I felt as though icy fingers were squeezing my heart.

"I only meant that she seems quite domesticated."

"Appearances can be deceptive," I snapped and stormed off back to my tent, pacing the rather modest length of it.

Yes, I was worried that Fandral might discover her secret but more than that, I was jealous. Why was she going to him for affection? That blonde buffoon couldn't

"Loki?" The blonde buffoon in question interrupted my thoughts by sticking his head into my tent. "What?"

"I was only jesting about Cara. I would never want you to bring her into a situation she wasn't trained for." He offered me a goblet of wine as a peace offering.

"I know." I turned to him, took a deep breath and accepted the wine. "Forgive me, this game of hide and seek is getting on my nerves, that's all." I gestured for him to take a seat.

Fandral grinned. "I know what you mean. Still, if lady luck is with us, we should be done with this tedious task in only a few more days."

"I'm looking forward to a bath, that's for damn sure."

Fandral laughed. "Yes, there is no true way to keep clean while camping."

"Or keep anything completely dry."

"Agreed. What I wouldn't give for the fog to burn off a little earlier in the day, we'd accomplish twice as much if…"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said as my mind began racing. The fog was usually so thick that it stopped us from being able to search for a good three hours every morning.

"That's it! Fandral, you're a genius!"

"I am? I mean, yes, I am, but why specifically in this instance?"

I grinned. "If Thor uses Mjolnir to summon up a storm, that should clear the moisture from the air for a while. I can then conjure a magical mist to replace it but make our soldiers immune to it."

"So we can see exactly where we're going, while our quarry run around like headless chickens, unable to see two feet in front of their faces."

"Exactly." We shared a grin.

"That's brilliant, Loki. Damn good thinking." He raised his cup. "Here's to going home tomorrow."

We clinked goblets.

"What's all the celebration for?" Thor asked, poking his head through the tent flap. "We haven't won yet."

I grinned, appreciating the chance to end this hunt easily, but I'd be lying if I didn't also relish the opportunity to show Thor how useful magic could be.

* * *

 **Cara's Point of View**

My new caretaker Mamalin, was a very sweet woman who enjoyed playing with me and suggested lots of games we might enjoy but equally, when I just wanted to lie and doze, she was happy to read a book.

For obvious reasons, I remained in cat form but even if I could have changed (and I was free to do so overnight) there was no point. The only reason to assume my person form was to communicate with Loki and he wasn't here.

Plus, it was a little easier to deal with my loneliness and fears for Loki's safety while I was a jaguar.

By the time he had been gone for three days, I was really starting to worry, and even my feline nature couldn't dampen down my concern.

It was supposed to be a simple mission to catch a band of marauders that were raiding villages along the border between the Hrímthursar and the Niflungar. Two nights, Loki had told me.

On the fourth day, when we went for our morning walk, I headed to the training grounds and Mamalin and I watched the fighting.

"He's nice," Mamalin said, pointing to one of the combatants. "He's in my brother's platoon but I've never spoken to him. I'm hoping I can get him to ask me for a dance at the next palace gathering. I bet he's a good dancer, just look at how gracefully he swings his sword!"

I tried to stifle the laugh but it came out as a sort of bark anyway, and Mamalin turned to me so I coughed a few times to cover the action.

"Probably the dust from the training ground," she said, stroking my flank. "We could do with some rain to damp everything down. I mean don't get me wrong, I love the sun, but I also like rain; it feels purifying, don't you think?"

No; as someone who lives (or lived) in the wild, rain was a huge annoyance.

Mamalin had a habit of talking to me almost constantly and even although I never gave any sign of understanding her, she continued to do it. I think some people just need something to talk to, and Mamalin struck me as the shy type, so she probably didn't have many friends or confidants.

I sometimes wondered why Frigga chose someone who appeared so meek to look after a jaguar but as I was slowly realising, Frigga often sees things that the rest of us overlook.

"Probably not, cats don't like water, do they," she continued her monologue. "Although you were paddling in the fountain the other day, so maybe you do like water. Either way…"

I turned my attention back to the fighting, letting Mamalin's gentle ramblings soothe me.

As I watched the practice bouts, I began to think how I, as a cat, might counteract the moves. I was a pretty good fighter by instinct but clearly not good enough, because Loki had easily bested me the day we first met, and with only a dagger, so I knew that if I was going to be allowed to go into battle with him, I needed to improve.

I was tempted to just jump right in there and feign attacking someone, but they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a real attack and my wanting to practice, so I simply had to be patient and wait for Loki to return.

I missed him dreadfully and each time I thought about the fact that he was away fighting dangerous marauders, my heart stuttered for a moment before resuming a normal rhythm. I'd never cared this much about anyone else.

* * *

 **Loki's Point of View**

Battered, beaten and tired, we were nevertheless in good spirits when we arrived back in Asgard. It was getting late but we all agreed that we would rather return home late than camp for another night.

Up ahead was the first group to arrive back, the soldiers who were escorting the prisoners to the cells and still coming through the bifrost behind us, were the rest of the infantry.

"Anyone up for a nightcap?" Volstagg asked as we walked back over the rainbow bridge.

"I just want a hot bath," I replied, which was true but more than that, I wanted Cara.

I was surprised to realise just how much I missed her, especially after only a few months acquaintance.

"I think I might head to the public bath house," Fandral said. "Then perhaps I can convince a pretty maiden to join me."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Thor?" Volstagg asked.

"I think I should get this shoulder seen to," Thor said, but I knew he wasn't seriously hurt, it was just an excuse to avoid watching his friend eat enough food for a small army, which was tedious at the best of times but even more so after five nights away from home.

"Sif? You'll join me, won't you?"

Her reply was interrupted by the sight of the guards ahead all veering sharply to the right, and I smiled when I saw Cara barrelling along the bridge towards us, scattering those in her way.

Had I not braced myself, she would have knocked me over as she jumped up and put her paws over my shoulders in a strange imitation of a human hug.

As my own arms encircled her and my hands ran up and down that silky soft fur, I took a deep breath and felt myself relax.

"Now that is an enthusiastic welcome home," Thor said. "If only I could find a woman who would greet me with such passion."

"I'd rather find one who greeted me with a roasted ostrich," Volstagg offered.

"And I'd rather find one who would greet me with a"

"Yes, thank you, Fandral," Sif cut him off, "I think our imaginations are more than up to the task of picturing what you want."

Cara jumped down and as we began to walk again, she rubbed her head on my thigh and I kept scratching behind her ears.

The banter between us continued much as it had before, until a slip of a girl ran up. Huffing and puffing, she put her hands on her hips and bent over slightly as she tried to find enough air to talk.

"Sorry… Highness… got away… from me."

"You've been caring for Cara?"

"Yes, sir."

"What happened to Wancor?"

"He was cruel… your Highness… Queen Frigga appointed… me after that."

I looked down at Cara but her only response was to press her head harder against my legs, assuring me she was fine.

We continued walking and the servant remained near me.

"Was she any trouble?" I asked.

"Oh no, she's a beautiful animal, we got on very well."

"Forgive me but… well, aren't you rather too slight to care for an animal that must weigh nearly twice what you do?"

"I said as much to your mother," the servant admitted. "She assured me that the right attitude was more important that brute strength."

I had chosen Wancor mainly because of his size, hoping the palace residents would feel secure with a large, strong man seemingly in control of her. He was an ingratiating type, which I assumed would make him take good care of her in an attempt to curry my favour.

"Were there any problems?"

"No, my prince, she is a delight to care for. I've grown very fond of her actually."

"And do you know what happened between Cara and Wancor?"

"I can't say for certain, but that first day you were gone, he spent the morning dragging her around on a chain, trying to show her off like a new sparkly bauble or something, then getting angry when she didn't do as he wanted and yanking the chain, choking her. The rumours say that the Queen caught him kicking her, but I didn't see that myself."

I could well imagining how little Cara would have liked that and patted her head by way of apology.

"You didn't do that?"

"I realised she probably had a routine with you, so I let her guide me. Mostly I just kept her company. She was no trouble."

"And did Wancor injure her?"

"No, my prince, your mother assured me she was fine. I gather Cara nearly frightened the life out of him though."

"Good girl," I scratched Cars a little harder. "And Wancor?" I asked the servant.

"The queen fired him on the spot."

I smiled, pleased with how the whole thing had been handled.

"And what's your name?" I asked.

"Mamalin."

"Well, thank you for your help, Mamalin. May I call on you in the future, should it be necessary?"

"Oh, of course. I'd love to help again."

"Thank you. You are relieved of your duties tonight and since we were not expected home so soon, you may take the day off tomorrow, with my thanks."

"That's very generous of you, Your Highness, thank you."

* * *

As soon as I locked the doors to my room with magic, Cara jumped up at me, transforming in mid-air so by the time she wrapped herself around me, she was a woman again.

"I missed you," she said fastening her lips to mine immediately afterwards and not giving me a chance to respond.

Her arms encircled my shoulders and her legs were wrapped around my waist, and having her sex pressed up against my sadly neglected cock was more temptation than I could handle at that moment. I backed her into the wall and after a moment to magic my clothes away, I was sinking into her tight cunt.

Once seated fully inside her, I held still and broke the kiss, resting my forehead against her shoulder. Sex had never felt like this before. The passion, the need, the lust and even the desperation weren't unfamiliar, it was the sensation of transcendence, as if this was more than just a normal encounter between lovers, this was perfect. This was right.

I pulled my head back enough I look into her eyes and I could see my feelings reflected on her features and my eyes prickled with emotion.

She smiled softly and brought one of her hands to the side of my face, gently caressing my cheek with her thumb for a moment, until she leaned forward and claimed my lips once again.

The brief interlude was over as lust descended and I fucked her with all my strength, as though with each forceful thrust, I was expelling the frustration and melancholy caused by being separated from her. The feeling of this being more than just sex never left though, and served to heighten the whole experience and drive us to reach new highs.

Finally, spent for the time being, we remained where we were, both of us unwilling to lose the moment.

"I missed you too," I finally replied to her greeting. "I'm sorry if that was a little… rough."

"You weren't." She smiled and kissed me softly. "That was perfect."


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six**

 **Cara**

I'd been training to go into battle for two weeks now and this morning, Loki took me to the armorer where she measured me for my first suit of armour. She had looked through some historical references for ideas and had come up with an articulated metal suit that would cover and protect my back and tail, a toughened fabric underlay that would absorb impacts and prevent chafing, then a separate helmet that would protect my face and ears. She had then added some touches that were either decorative, or designed to intimidate. The horns were my favourite addition, because they looked just like Loki's.

With that job out of the way, Loki and I were now visiting the artisan section of the local town. I had been into the town in animal form before I met Loki but it's hard to browse when people are constantly chasing you off. By Loki's side though, no one ever dared shoo me away.

In an ideal world I would be able to converse with him, rather than the one way dialogues he had with me, but in just a few weeks at his side as a cat, I had seen more of Asgard than I had since I arrived in this realm, well over a year ago.

Last night for example, we attended an opera where I was able to watch from the royal box, the best seats in the house and by the end, I was in tears. Loki warned me that real animals don't cry, so I buried my head in his lap to hide my tears, because there was no way I could stop them. I have always loved music but I had no idea it could be _that_ emotive. I was hooked and Loki assured me there was a new operatic production at least once a month.

Then tomorrow night there was another dance at the palace that we would attend. It was informal, with lots of drinking, music and dancing, but even if I couldn't dance, I had never been to anything like it before and was eager just to watch.

We had explored areas of the town before, and Loki had taken me to some of his favourite places out of town too, like the rock falls which had a hidden cave behind the waterfall, but I hadn't seen much of this section of town, so as we browsed the window displays we had developed a code; if I wanted to look inside, I would give a soft mewl and Loki would take me in.

He was very good about introducing me to the shopkeepers and if we attracted odd looks when he spoke to me as if I was a person, he would explain that the shops were a little stressful for me and the sound of his voice soothed me.

We had visited three art shops, all at my insistence because, while I had not seen very much of it in person, I always loved the pictures I found in books. Getting to see so many paintings up close was wonderful, and I was now torn between whether I liked the bright watercolours, or the oil paintings.

Based on the images I'd seen, I had always disliked abstract art, or liked it less, but seeing full size canvases in person, I began to realise that even an unrecognisable image could induce an emotional response.

Some of the shops had the crafters working, so I saw people spinning yarn, making pottery, marquetry, chocolates, carving toys, and we even saw glass being blown. I was enamoured of almost everything we saw, and I kept rubbing my head against Loki's thigh so he would know I appreciated his patience, for he had surely seen these sights a hundred times before.

After leaving a doll maker's shop, we headed into a jewellers. My head whipped everywhere as each display of jewellery seemed carefully placed to reflect and refract the light. Everything looked beautiful, so I didn't notice Loki approaching the counter for a few moments, not until he accepted a leather covered box from the server and turned to me with a smile on his face.

"I have a surprise for you," he said, coming over and getting down on one knee.

I couldn't imagine what was in the box. Yes, obviously it was jewellery of some description, but what on Asgard could a jaguar wear? A tiara? Earrings?

He opened the box and I saw the most spectacular sapphire and diamond choker.

"Isn't it stunning?" he asked rhetorically. "I had it specially made so the sapphires match the shade of your eyes."

I was touched that he would buy something like that for me; this was of the calibre for one of the noble ladies who sought his attentions, not a half breed orphan, but as he removed it from the box, my happy thoughts dimmed.

It was far too long to be a normal choker, and at almost two inches, too wide as well.

This was a collar. He wanted to claim he as any common pet, as his possession.

Loki undid the discrete buckle but as he reached out towards me, I growled. Not playfully, not quietly, this was a warning.

"Cara?"

My lip was still curled but I couldn't communicate with Loki in this form.

I could have allowed him to put it on me but my reaction wasn't thought out, it was instinct; raw and visceral. Honestly, even if I had wanted to let him, I didn't even know if I even _could_ override my animal nature and allow him to label me as his property.

He reached out again and I growled louder.

"Cara, don't be foolish!" he snapped at me and came at me again.

With a roar, I snapped at him. I didn't intend to hurt him, I was aiming for the space beside his hand, but I was making absolutely sure that he knew that I was serious.

"Cara! Behave!" he said pointedly.

I continued to glare at him, not backing down in the slightest and when he tried a final time to fasten the collar around my neck, I snapped again, this time biting his wrist and as I jumped back, I pulled him off balance.

I turned, not caring if he was okay, and headed back to the palace as fast as I could.

The problem was, my safe haven was Loki. Loki's rooms, Loki's bed, Loki's company, but it was Loki who I wanted to avoid. He wanted to turn me into a thing, a possession, to own me like I was a slave.

Loki was of no comfort to me now, so I skirted the palace grounds and headed deep into the forest, hoping that the den I had made for myself was still there.

* * *

 **Loki**

Cara's livid and visceral reaction to my gift shocked me and no matter how I looked at it, I didn't understand why she had such a heated reaction to a beautiful piece of jewellery.

Did she think I was trying to buy her affection? Or perhaps her other boyfriend, the one who used her, had bought her trinkets also, and my gift reminded her of that?

Either way, her reaction seemed out of proportion, so it was probably something else, but what?

I returned to the palace, expecting to find Cara waiting in my rooms, but she wasn't there and I knew she wasn't hiding because I couldn't sense her magic. I asked around but no one had seen her, until I got as far as the entrance, and the guards there confided that they had seen her run past, towards the forest.

I headed to our meeting place but once again, there was no sign of her.

Feeling rather dejected, I sat on a mossy log and rested my elbows on his knees, dropping my head into my hands as I sat there.

I knew now that this was no mere tiff, this was different, this was serious. Somehow, I had hurt her. Badly.

Worst of all, I didn't know how and since I couldn't find her, I also didn't know how to fix it.

' _Where could she have gone_ ?' I asked myself. I recalled that she had spoken of having a den in the trees, a place that offered some protection from the elements and other predators, where she could rest in peace, in either human or feline form.

I conjured a map book from the library and turned to the section on this forest, examining the terrain for any clues as to where one might build such a shelter.

There was a river that cut through the forest, which might provide drinking water but it was large and fast moving, so it was unlikely to be something she would either drink from or bathe in. My eyes then alighted on a small lake which jogged my memory; hadn't she said something about bathing in a lake? I examined the surrounding area and noticed that not far away from there was a small, rocky hill. A small indentation there would be the perfect place to build a den; with one side protected by rock, only the other needed any kind of shelter built.

I sent the book back to the library and headed deeper into the woods.

* * *

"Cara! Cara!" I had been calling ever since I reached the lake but she didn't answer. Then suddenly I felt it, felt _her_ ; that mixture of magical energy that was unique to her being.

I hadn't realised until just then, how much I had missed that sensation. That unique blend of power that was Cara had been my companion for a while now, and at my side most of the time for over a month. Feeling it was my new normal, and its absence had left me feeling off kilter and as though I was drifting, untethered.

I headed towards it, although the sensation only gave me a general direction.

"Cara, please, come out, darling. Talk to me, I beg you." My eyes searched all around me for anything that might be her den. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I did that was so awful but I need you to know, I never intended to hurt you. Please come home, Cara."

Movement to my right caught my eye, but it was just a stag.

When I faced forward again, I spotted the top of a hollow in the base of the hill and I approached it cautiously. As I peered over the foliage that had been placed around the small hollow, I saw Cara sheltered under an outcropping of rock, her head on her paws and her muzzle wet with tears.

Cautiously I made my way into her small den and sat down.

"Please, talk to me," I begged.

Her disappointed look was the only reply I got.

"I know I've hurt you but I can't correct that unless you help me understand what I did that was so wrong? Please."

I thought she was going to continue to ignore me but she sat up and transformed back into a woman, her knees tucked under her chin and her arms wrapped around her shins. Defensive.

"You gave me a collar, Loki."

That much I knew. "I don't understand why that upset you."

"Really? You can't imagine why a grown woman wouldn't want to be collared like a dog? A thing to be tagged like property, so it can be returned home if it gets lost? I thought you liked me, Loki, for who I was, not _what_ I was. I thought you saw past the Jotun markings and the shape shifting to the woman below, and that you wanted her to be a part of your life for a while, but all I am to you is another curiosity, something to own and display to the rest of the world. Well I'm sorry, Loki, but no amount of nice food and opera is worth giving up my autonomy for."

"How is that any different from having my horns on your armour?"

"The horns show my allegiance to you, just as the House of Odin coat of arms show that I fight for your family. A collar is only about ownership."

I had truly never thought of it in terms of property but now, I could see why that would be so degrading to her. I considered my next words carefully.

"I do care for you, Cara, and not the shapeshifter or the Frost Giant, you, the woman. In all honestly, I didn't give the collar much thought. Had you been Aesir, I would have ordered a necklace but… that's beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that I-" I sighed in frustration.

"Cara," I tried again. "The truth is, I do want people to see you wearing my collar. I want everyone to see you and know that you are mine, not because I own you, but because you gave yourself to me. If I could show you off in human form, a necklace would say the same thing, mine, because I want you to wear a massive 'taken' sign, to deter anyone who might be foolish to think of tearing you away from me. I never considered the collar in terms of ownership because I don't own you, I can't. I viewed it as a cementing of our relationship, because you have already given me your heart, no? Just as I have given you mine to care for."

She was silent and although I tried to wait for her to reply, I was too impatient.

"You have given yourself to me, haven't you, love? You live in a palace where you will be thought of as a spy if your secret is ever discovered, but you're not an idiot so the _only_ reason you would countenance living with that ever present danger, is because you want to be with me. I saw from the bilgesnipe attack that you are literally willing to risk your life to try and protect me."

She was crying silently now, and each tear was like a knife to my heart.

"I have not yet had a chance to prove it, and I hope for your sake that I never will, but I will gladly lay down my life for you too, Cara, because a life without you is would be a pale reflection of the life I have now. So yes, you belong to me, Cara, and I would dearly love to shout that from the rooftops, but the _only_ reason you belong to me, is because I also belong to you. I gave you my heart and it's your job to protect it, just as it's my job to protect yours… Assuming I still have it."

Cara wiped her eyes and I desperately wanted her to speak to me, yell and curse at me if necessary, just give me something to work with.

"I love you."

She finally met my gaze but her look was accusatory. "Why?"

"Why do I love you?" I queried.

She nodded.

"There is no one reason great enough to explain why. It's a collection of tiny things that make you who you are." I realised I wasn't explaining this well. "I love your smile, it's slightly crooked but so heartfelt. I love the way you move, so graceful and lithe; I could watch you all day. I love that you understand the value of reading; you hardly ever interrupt me and when I see your head buried in a book, you're so focused that you get this little line between your eyebrows.

"I love how intelligent you are, and how playful. I love that you aren't afraid to challenge me when I'm in the wrong, and I'm sorry if I don't always listen. I love that you take the initiative, even when you're nervous and have to force yourself to. I love how passionate you are, how enthusiastically you respond when I make love to you. I love that after we've made love, you always stretch like a cat before settling against me.

"I love it when you're in your feline form and rub your head against me, begging for me to touch you. I love your sense of humour. I love how protective you are, growling at any perceived slight against me, no matter how small. I love that you've almost made a sport of teasing Thor." I smiled at those memories. "And all that is to say nothing of your beauty, which captivates me daily.

"So there is no one reason that you that won my affection, Cara, and any one or few of those qualities on their own would not be enough. Only all of them are enough, darling, because together they combine to make a woman that is somehow perfect for me."

I saw her swipe at her eyes and realised she was crying so although hesitant, I scooted closer to her. I reached out but unsure if she wanted to me to touch her or not, my hand hovered awkwardly by her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry again."

She looked up and actually laughed, although it was still part sob.

"They're happy tears," she assured me. "I don't think I've ever heard anything so sweet."

I dared to pull her into my arms and when she came easily, I settled her on my lap and we sat there for a long while, just wrapped in each other's embrace.

When Cara finally pulled away, she offered me a shy smile.

"You do still have my heart, Loki," she assured me, and the relief I felt was unparalleled.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry about the collar, I forgot to consider how the animal side of your nature might view such a gesture."

"Let's just forget about it for now."

I nodded, more than happy with that suggestion.

"It's going to get dark soon, we should head back," I said, pleased when she agreed.

* * *

 **Cara**

The dance next evening was amazing and I was swept up with observing the various people and activities going on in the large hall. I'd missed the last one as Loki was away on Nifelheim and Mamalin didn't feel right taking me there as she didn't know how I would react. I could have gone anyway, I knew she was going, hoping her soldier might notice her, but I was too worried about Loki to properly enjoy myself, so I was content to stay in my room and read.

The sound was audible from some distance away and as we entered, my head whipped around, from sight to sight, never settling for long as there was just so much to observe.

We sat with Thor and the warriors, drinking and laughing as they told stories. Food was regularly brought around, especially to our table as we had Volstagg, and people came and sat with us for a while, then went off to join other friends or dance.

All the warriors felt they had to ask a few maidens to dance and a couple of braver women came and asked them. Sif was also a popular partner but she refused almost all offers to dance, only accepting a few from friends. I suspected that she only chose those who she knew wouldn't be overly familiar with her.

I was a little envious when Loki got up to dance but Thor kept pushing women on him and I understood that he couldn't ask a jaguar to dance, so I tried to keep a lid on my jealousy.

Fandral slipped me some food as the night progressed, and while Loki was dancing, he placed a tankard of mead on the floor for me to drink from. I really liked him. He was a hopeless womaniser and I'd heard his friends say his success was because he was charming, but I'd met many men in the palace who could be called charming. I could see that the real reason why so many women liked him was actually quite simple, he was considerate. He had no reason to try and slip me food and drink, he certainly didn't expect anything from me in return, it was just the kind of man he was, always making sure his companions were taken care of.

Everyone was merry and even although I couldn't participate to any great degree, I was enjoying myself, bobbing my head slightly in time to the music.

Then Lady Dush approached and literally shoehorned herself in beside Loki, practically draping herself over him and laughing too hard at his sarcastic quips.

I huffed and looked out to the dance floor; watching them would only irritate me.

She finally convinced Loki to dance with her and as they left, Fandral patted the bench beside him that they had just vacated.

I jumped up and generously allowed him to give me more food and mead.

I couldn't help but look over to Loki occasionally, and seeing him with Lady Dush made me rather impetuous and I began rubbing my head against Fandral.

The lady sitting on his knee was fascinated by our interactions and laughed at his antics as he fed and petted me. I lapped up a whole tankard of mead and Fandral topped it up again, although not as much as before, fearing that he would get me drunk.

Loki seemed to be gone ages and when the food and drink dried up, I ended up with my head in Fandral's lap, allowing him to comfort me.

When Loki returned to the table both Fandral and his lady friend were petting me, and I was licking them both in turn.

Loki glared at me and I realised that, probably due to the alcohol, I had gone too far. I'd felt jealous watching Loki dance with that woman, but he hadn't fawned over her, as I was doing with Fandral, to say nothing of the risk I was taking. I was pretty sure that Fandral wouldn't guess my secret, he'd petted me enough times that if he was going to sense something odd about me, he would have done so already, but I knew nothing about his companion.

I jumped off the bench and rubbed my head against Loki's thighs, asking for forgiveness, but he didn't respond, he was too angry with me.

I lay behind him as he took his seat again and listened to the conversations going on at the table, feeling rather sorry for myself.

They moved onto battle stories and then I heard Thor laughing.

"Yes, well some fight like men, others use magic tricks."

Frigga's words came flooding back to me.

 _'I think you'll be very good for Loki,' … 'He's a good man but he's so often overshadowed by his brother. I'm glad he's found something of his own.'_

Instead of remaining his, in a pique of undeserved jealousy, I had turned my affection to Fandral.

Loki had done so much for me, not so much bringing me into the palace, but in enabling me to see so much more of life and culture than I could ever have dreamed on my own.

I looked up at his back, wondering how I could make it up to him.

I got up and tugged on his cuff but he shrugged me off. I tried again and tugged harder, with the same result. The third time he turned to me.

"Cara, stop it! Lie down!"

I relaxed back to the floor and waited until his attention was diverted, then I slipped out of the hall and headed for our rooms.

Once the door was closed behind me, I locked it. Without Loki's magic, it wasn't as secure as it should be but I risked changing back and headed for Loki's dresser, where I'd seen him put the box, at the rear of one of the drawers.

I considered putting it on before changing but that would raise too many questions, so I took it with me as I went back through. I placed the box on the floor as I unlocked his door, changed back into a jaguar and picked the box up with my teeth.

I was his, and despite my distaste for the collar, I wanted everyone to know that but more importantly, I wanted him to know that.

* * *

 **Loki**

To say I was annoyed would be putting it mildly. Cara wasn't the main focus of my irritation but her flirting (if you could call it that) with Fandral was just the final straw.

It began with Thor teasing me about not getting laid enough while we spared this morning, which was only compounded by his antics this evening, trying to force women on me, as if I couldn't get my own. The fact was, he was the one slacking in comparison to me, I was having sex at least once a day, often more, but I couldn't tell him that.

Dush then asked me to dance and since I didn't want to offend her parents, I had to accept at least once, but she was becoming quite aggressive with her affections. She was doing her best to tempt me into bed but I knew that if I ever succumbed to her charms, we would 'somehow' be caught in a compromising position. Her parents would try to force us into a union, and they were friends with Odin, so it was likely that such a plan would succeed. Luckily, I could see right through her machinations, but that didn't stop them infuriating me.

When I finally got away from Dush, I saw Cara with her head in Fandral's lap, allowing him to pet her in the same way I did.

I knew that when in her feline form, her attentions were different to when she was a woman, that her rubbing herself on me (or anyone else) was not the same as a woman rubbing her body against a man's. I also knew that the gathering must be rather tedious for her, since she couldn't eat, drink, dance or converse, but I was too annoyed and had drunk too much wine to be rational. I felt a little bad for shouting at her when she tried to get my attention, but my anger prevented me from turning around and making nice with her.

I was just debating whether to stay here and continue to try and enjoy myself or return to my rooms and have an early night, when Cara forced her head between me and Fandral.

I was about to shout at her again, when she dropped something in my lap. I knew what it was immediately, the collar I had bought her.

Her big blue eyes looked up into mine, silently begging for forgiveness, and I felt awful. I had dragged her to a gathering she couldn't properly enjoy, left her alone for much of the night, yelled at her, and now she was presenting me with something that she would label her as my property.

I really didn't deserve her.

"I need some air," I said, knowing that if I was overcome with emotion in front of my friends, I would never hear the end of the teasing.

I slipped the box into my pocket and headed out to the terrace, with Cara hot on my heels. It was fairly crowded with enthusiastic dancers looking to cool down, so we slipped down the stairs and into the gardens, the preserve of lovers at these events, although they didn't tend to head down here until later. Nonetheless, to be sure we weren't overheard, we walked until we came across a fountain and I sat at the base, knowing the sound of the water would help obscure our conversation in case there were any others out here.

Cara sat beside me and I reached out and stroked her head.

"Thank you, my love. I'm not sure if you understand what this gesture means to me, but know I appreciate it." I kissed her muzzle. "I'm sorry I was harsh with you earlier."

Cara lowered her head and nudged the pocket that I had placed the jewellery box in and I got it out, wondering what she wanted with it. She proceeded to bump it with her nose.

"You don't have to wear it, love, the fact that you were prepared to is more than enough."

It didn't stop her though and she turned her head on the side and began to bite the box, as though trying to pry it open. I took the collar out but I didn't put the box away.

"Are you sure, Cara? I honestly don't need you to wear it and I know what it means to you."

She raised her head, giving me access to her neck. Slowly, I placed the collar around her neck and fastened it loosely and when I lowered my hands, signalling that I was finished, she stepped between my legs, sat down and with a deep sigh of contentment, she rested her head on my shoulder.

My arms went around her and I held her tightly, tears pricking my eyes as we sat there. I didn't speak for a long time, this wasn't a moment for words. I just held her, running my hands over her midnight black fur. I let myself forget about the jibes and jokes from Thor, the machinations of Lady Dush, the fear of discovery that we lived with every day and I allowed myself to just be right here, in this moment, with one of the most majestic women I had ever met. Cara pulled away first and her nose touched the tear tracks on my face.

"I'm not sad," I assured her. "It's more like how you felt at the opera, moved."

With tiny little licks, she kissed my tear tracks away then sat back, her bright blue eyes visible even in the shadows of night.

"Let's give it another twenty minutes, then we'll retire early and you and I can dance to our hearts content in the privacy of our rooms."

She blinked once in agreement but I was reluctant to get to my feet and end the moment. It was Cara who got up first, leaving me no choice but to follow her.

* * *

Behind closed doors, we moved to the music that my magic meant we could hear even in here. I had long since stopped trying to teach Cara the steps, we were beyond that now. For a time she had simply allowed me to lead her, following instinctively and trusting me not to land her on her arse. Now though we just held each other, gently swaying to the beat of our hearts as much as the beat of the music. Her cheek rested on my shoulder, and mine on her hair.

I'm not quite sure when clothes were dispensed with, but we had moved beyond even lust now, content to simply be for the moment, to feel, to sway.

We continued moving after the music stopped, neither of us even noticing when it came to an end and only when our legs began to grow tired, did we stop, moving to the fireplace and basking in it's warm amber glow as we slowly and sensuously explored each other, licking, nibbling, caressing and enjoying sensations. There was no rush to orgasm, no need to go faster, harder or deeper.

As I finally entered her, I looked down into her eyes, holding her gaze almost until the end, when my eyes dipped down to the collar, which she still wore despite it being too large for her in this form. The sight of it, and the significance behind it, pushed me over the edge into one of the longest climax I can recall ever reaching and once I was recovered, I returned the favour, teasing her into a slow, almost lazy orgasm that rippled through her in waves, rather than crashing over her in a few intense moments.

We fell asleep there, bathed in the warmth of each other as much as the fire.

I knew that it was unfair of me to ask her to live this half-life, pretending to everyone but he that she was simply an animal. Our relationship could never progress, we could never marry or have children, hell, she could never even meet my parents.

But what other choice did I have? I couldn't lose her and she didn't want to lose me. We were both making the most of an imperfect situation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven**

 **Cara**

Loki was packing for our trip to Vanaheim but whilst I wasn't especially looking forward to going home, there was a small part of me that wanted to go back to the orphanage and see how the men and women who raised me were fairing. Not in my own form though, I was too used to being accepted now, by everyone as a jaguar and by Loki as a person, and I didn't relish being subjected to the racism I had lived with previously.

I have a feeling that makes me a coward, but I have never claimed to be brave.

"You're very quiet," Loki noted.

I was lying on the bed, watching him as he moved around, the sunlight reflecting off his sinewy frame distracting me from my introspection.

I shrugged in reply.

"How long has it been since you were there?"

"Years," I answered. I wasn't entirely sure since while I was travelling, searching for portals off that world in my feline form, I didn't really pay much attention to dates, so I couldn't say exactly when I came to Asgard.

"I left the capital city nine years ago though."

"Do you have any friends or family you'd like to visit?"

"My mother is alive but she abandoned me. She's the only family I have a name for."

"You never looked for her?"

I shook my head.

"What's her name?"

"Beute Horsdottar." I could never forget that name.

Back when I was a child and still innocent to how I was conceived, I would dream that one day she might come and take me away from the orphanage, telling me that my being here was a mistake or beyond her control. I was never supposed to know her name but I could shapeshift even then and by transforming into a small housecat, I had snuck into the Grand Master's office through the window, and looked through my records.

My birth records were there, my father listed as 'Unknown Jotun'. For the longest time, I believed that was his name, that the Jotun names were perhaps different to ours.

"What about the orphanage, would you like to visit there? We'll be in the capital for at least a week, I'm sure we could find the time to visit."

I still wasn't sure if I wanted to or not so I didn't reply.

"You don't have to come," Loki suddenly said, turning to face me. "I can say that you're unwell and send Mamalin to care for you while we're gone."

"No. Whether I want to or not, I think I should go back there. I think I need to."

Loki came over and leaned down. "I will be there the whole time, darling, I promise."

"Thank you." I reached up to kiss him.

And so the next day, kitted out in my ceremonial armour, we journeyed through the bifrost and to my home world.

Our party consisted of Thor, two diplomats and four Einherjar, and we were greeted by an aide to the king called Luse, and a party of guards and staff to carry our things.

He looked a little nonplussed to see a jaguar among the party but my armour seemed to put him at ease, as it did most visitors and once introductions were made, he led us from the main square and to the castle, where the Vanir royalty lived and conducted business.

As I walked the familiar streets, I felt a profound sense of melancholy come over me. It was nothing to do with how I felt presently, it was more as the feelings of my old life reasserted themselves. I had honestly forgotten how it felt to live here, to be looked down upon as less than everyone around me.

I used to look on life here and the people with such envy, hoping that they would accept me, or that I could become one of them. Sometimes I wished so hard, it almost physically hurt.

I had never blamed them, not when I lived among them because on Vanaheim I was a creature born of war and violence, and who could love such a creature?

Loki though, he called me magnificent, regal and majestic. He viewed my ability to shapeshift as something that added to my uniqueness, not a reminder of the monstrous father who made me. I had never once been a monster in his eyes.

On Asgard I was a prince's consort, even if Loki was the only one who knew . Here I was an unwanted halfling.

I had to remind myself that how Loki viewed me was not how the rest of Asgard would see me, which was why we had to keep up the charade that I was nothing more than an animal, but with Loki I knew how I felt to be accepted and respected, and the reminder that I never had either on Vanaheim was a shock to my system.

Loki and Thor were shown to their room but as Luse stood in the hallway, directing the servants to which room was which, he paused when he saw two of them heading into Loki's room with my bed and suggested that it be taken to the stables, where I would stay.

"Master Luse," Loki said, his voice polite but with an edge that I knew could mean trouble. "Cara is not just an animal, she is my familiar, and as such she stays with me, at all times." He walked into his room and looked around as I followed behind him.

Thor had been heading to his own room to freshen up before dinner but now he came into ours, probably sensing the same danger that I did, and stood by the door, watching proceedings and seeming amused by this turn of events.

"I regret that we do not allow animals in the castle, Prince Loki. I am very sorry but I cannot break the rules. Our stables are most comfortable and she will be well cared for there."

"I think you misheard me," Loki smiled. "She is not an animal, she is a familiar, a spirit sent to help and guide a sorcerer and while they often take the form of animals, they are not. Their true forms are beyond the understanding of all but the most learned practitioners of magic."

"I realise that," Luse gulped, perhaps having sensed the danger in Loki's apparently calm voice. "However she looks like a wild animal, and she… well she's dressed for battle."

I turned to Loki, my eyes pleading with him to back down. I didn't want to cause an inter realm incident so if I had to sleep in the stables I would. Loki wasn't looking at me though, he was staring Luse down.

"Because she wishes to remain by my side, even in dangerous situations."

"Your highness, I can see that you care a great deal for this creature but "

"Cara, on the bookshelves behind me I saw a book titled _A Condensed History of Vanir Royalty_ . Kindly fetch it for me."

I didn't really understand his request, but I did as he asked, searching the shelf until I found the correct book, then jumping up and pawing it off the shelf and carrying it to Loki in my mouth.

He bent down to retrieve it. "Thank you, my dear." He displayed the book to Luse. "If you can show me an animal that can understand language, then I will allow you to place Cara in your stables. Until then, she remains with me."

I sat down beside Loki and taking my cue from him, stared at Luse, who shot me some very unsure glances.

"Very well, I will see what I can do. She may remain here for now but she is not allowed to roam the castle unattended."

"As I said, she remains with me, so she will not be unattended."

The servants deposited my bed and Luse left the room, looking rather ashen, it has to be said.

Once the servants were gone and the door closed, Thor stepped forward.

"I did not know Cara was so intelligent," he laughed.

"Just a magic trick," Loki assured Thor. "I projected what the spine of the book looked like into her head and she already knows how to fetch."

"Sometimes I think she is closer to the spirit guide you described than an animal enhanced with magic," Thor shook his head but smiled at Loki's audacity. "Still, she has not caused any problems in Asgard, so I don't see why she would here."

"Exactly," Loki smiled at his brother. Thor usually enjoyed Loki's magic, when it wasn't being used on him, that is.

"I'll come by and collect you before dinner," were Thor's parting words as he headed for the door.

With a wave of Loki's hand, my armour disappeared and reappeared in its stand beside my bed, while Loki removed his helmet and ran a hand through his hair.

* * *

Relations between the Aesir and the Vanir are friendly. Three millennia ago there was a war between us but an uneasy peace was eventually reached. When the Jotun waged war, our two realms joined up not only to repel them, but to keep the other realms safe, which truly cemented the peace between our peoples, and after that it was then agreed that Asgard would be the supreme realm.

The Frost Giants still make a fuss every few years or so, sometimes to try and reclaim the Casket of Ancient Winters, the source of their power which was confiscated from them and that Asgard now keeps safe, or just raiding and pillaging villages on the outer edges of other realms. I'm not quite sure of the circumstances surrounding my conception, but I assume my mother must have lived in one of those outer villages.

In either case, such Jotun rebellions are swiftly quashed by our peoples.

A part of the original peace treaty was that every 20 years, the Aesir and Vanir would visit each other. Before we joined forces against the Jotun, this was to ensure that neither realm was preparing for another war, but these days it was used more to discuss political arrangements, such as trade agreements. Mostly though, it was just a symbolic gesture whereby each realm would wine and dine representatives of the other, using the visit to show off more than anything.

This was the first time that Loki and Thor had been charged with this task, in preparation for the leadership roles they would have to assume one day.

The first evening we were treated to a banquet full of the best delicacies from across the realm.

The Vanir king, Dekheid, had obviously been told about my presence, because I had my own seat at the top table, next to Loki, and the kitchen had prepared food and drink especially for me. I wasn't sure if the king was showing off how well he was doing, in that he could be frivolous enough to entertain a jaguar in style, or if he was actually making fun of Loki and his assertion that I was much more than a pet.

Either way, I was perfectly happy with the arrangements and Loki didn't seem upset either.

He danced with Queen Sharlot, her daughters and a few other ladies, as did Thor, although the diplomats were more reserved, preferring to sit and talk with others at the table.

Even I was in demand as after the meal, the Queen introduced me to the children's table, and I spent the rest of the evening entertaining them with simple tricks. A few adults also came over to pet me but it was the children's company that I really enjoyed. I think the only thing sweeter than a child's smile, is its laugh, and I caused a lot of merriment that night.

One young girl of perhaps thirty, took it upon herself to teach me to dance in my cat form, and I did my best to imitate her movements, much to the merriment of the other children.

The next day there was a tournament held in our honour and we watched an assortment of demonstrations, from troop displays to competitions.

I finally got a chance to observe the king properly throughout the day and while he tried to appear friendly, approachable and a man of the people, to me he just seemed smarmy. I was now firmly of the opinion that his being solicitous to me last evening had been his attempt to make fun of Loki. I also didn't trust him as he constantly had that scent that I associate with lying around him, not particularly strong, but always there, as if he wasn't telling huge lies but was consistently not showing his true face.

I seem to recall that Dekheid was crowned only a few years before I left the realm, and I had never had a chance to see him in person. I'd only seen his father on two occasions, but he had seemed like a nice man. It was a shame his son hadn't followed in his footsteps.

"So, Prince Loki," Dekheid said as he took a seat after announcing the start of the mass tournament, a riding display. "Will we see your Cara in battle when we visit you? Luse told me that she sports a fine set of armour."

"So that she can accompany me into battle, not so that she can perform like a dancing monkey," Loki said with derision.

"Are you sure she isn't a pet?" Dekheid asked snidely.

"Quite, thank you." I placed my head in his lap, feeling somewhat guilty that he was being ridiculed because of my presence.

Thor distracted everyone then, cheering loudly as something happened during the display, which was nearing its climax.

After a break for lunch, the afternoon activities resumed with the final event of the day, an archery competition. I couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with an arrow, so I found the accuracy of these people fascinating.

The winner was eventually declared to be Jamer Holson. Loki left the stand to congratulate him as archery was an interest of his, although it was a hobby, not a battle tactic. I trailed behind and after a brief conversation, Jamer challenged Loki to a competition to see which was more accurate, Jamer's arrows or Loki's throwing knives.

It was all done in good spirits and while the targets were changed for new ones, they chatted, until a man and a woman approached and embraced the winning archer, congratulating him. When he pulled away, Jamer turned to Loki.

"My apologies, Prince Loki. These are my parents, Hol Tamson who is the King's secretary and Beute Horsdotar, the Queen's lady in waiting. Mother, father, this is His Highness, Loki Odinson."

I felt as if an icicle had been stabbed into my heart.

This was the woman that I had spent years dreaming would come and rescue me from the orphanage. The woman who had left me there.

I felt Loki's hand stroking my head but I was too busy staring at my mother to respond.

She was so pretty that I actually ached for her. Now, seeing Loki pet me, she looked at me.

"And who is this?" she bent down and smiled at me, holding her hand out towards me. "She's beautiful."

I snarled at her. It wasn't a conscious reaction, I just knew that I couldn't stand for her to touch me. I had dreamed of being wrapped in her loving embrace more times than I could count but if she touched me now, it wouldn't be because she loved me, or felt bad for abandoning me; she didn't even know who I was. It would be a cruel parody of motherly affection, one that I knew I couldn't handle.

"I'm sorry, she can be wary of strangers sometimes," Loki lied smoothly.

Beute withdrew her hand and stood upright once more. "She has beautiful eyes."

The same shade as hers, in fact.

"What's her name?"

"Cara." He couldn't really lie, so many people here knew my name.

"C Cara?" for a second she turned as white as a ghost, then for forced a shell of a smile onto her face. "That's a… pretty name."

The targets were in place now and Loki led me a few feet away.

"I'll throw the match and we'll go back to the room for a few hours," he whispered.

I growled and blinked twice, then after a pause, another two times.

Loki got down on one knee, making it appear as if he was petting me.

"No?" he asked.

I blinked twice again. Jamer had my mother, he did not get to beat my Loki too!

"You want me to win?"

I blinked once, 'yes'.

Loki smirked. "He's toast, darling."

Loki almost always carried some throwing daggers about his person, only his casual clothes didn't have room for them but even then, he could summon them at will. He lined up next to Jamer and they took it in turns to shoot and throw.

The impromptu competition drew a crowd who watched as they each shot or threw three times, for six rounds, the standard for archery tournaments on Vanir. Thor obviously backed his brother, cheering loudly at the end of each set of three when Loki's score was higher.

Jamer was good, almost always hitting the central ring but Loki was better because he daily practiced hitting much smaller targets, usually from further away. His score was perfect, while Jamar's was only very good.

I chuffed with pride as Loki was declared the winner and Thor approached, raising his brother's arm in victory.

Loki and Jamer shook hands at the end but there was a coolness between them that hadn't been there before.

I'm not sure what it said about me, that I was glad Loki had beaten him. Perhaps that I had chosen a worthier partner than my family would have been anyway. Or that my family had been wrong to abandon me.

In truth though, I think I was pleased because although this wasn't my victory, I had done well for myself because the man who bested my brother deemed me worthy of his love, while the son my mother had kept was nothing compared to the son in law they might have had.

Of course, that was my fantasies getting away from me again. Loki and I could never marry, because no one could ever know the truth about me.

That realisation dimmed what little happiness Loki's victory had brought me.

* * *

 **Loki**

Cara was worrying me. Ever since the day she had met her mother, she had been terribly subdued and even although I locked our rooms with magic, she refused to change back into a person.

When we had arrived back at our rooms after the tournament, I locked the doors and urged her to change but she refused, and continued to do so for the rest of the day. That night, with the doors once more locked with magical wards, I climbed into bed next to her.

"I wish you'd talk to me," I said, running my hand from her head and down her back in long, soothing strokes.

Cara closed her eyes and seemed to deflate, but she didn't change, so I hauled her onto her side and spooned her, wrapping myself around her as if I could be some kind of healing balm.

It didn't work. Nothing did.

She followed me around dutifully but her spark was gone, that playful light in her eyes that seemed to dance when she was happy.

It didn't matter what I said to her, nothing improved her mood and most of the time, she wouldn't even give me a yes or no answer.

I ended up reading to her when we were alone, because she seemed to like that and cuddled into me.

On our final day there we were supposed to tour the town but I begged off. The king seemed to prefer Thor's company anyway, so I was no great loss, and Cara and I headed to the south of the town.

Cara followed obediently, in her usual semi catatonic state of late, until she realised where we were going. I saw her ears twitch first, then her eyes began to dart around and finally her head began to move slightly as she looked about her.

I paused at the huge wooden gates and looked down at her. She met my gaze and I took that as an affirmative to continue, so I knocked.

A hatch opened and wizened head peered out at us.

"I'm Prince Loki of Asgard. I wish to speak with the person in charge of the orphanage."

He began opening the gate as soon as he heard my title, before I had even finished speaking.

"Right this way, my Lord." He cast a wary eye at Cara but didn't comment on her and after closing the gate behind us, led us into the monastery. "What brings you here?" he asked me.

"I met a former resident of yours once, Cara, and she often spoke of this place. Since I was coming here anyway, I thought I would see for myself the good work you do.

Our guide then began rambling, explaining the facility to us.

According to him, this place was never supposed to be an orphanage but when a need first presented itself, the monks and nuns made room, building more rooms over the years to house more children, but the monastery was still its primary purpose and as such, we were led to the Grand Master, the head of this facility.

The Grand Master herself was a rather imposing lady, tall and stocky, not at all what you might expect from a religious woman, but her eyes were kind and her voice soft. She ushered us into her study and once we were seated and had refreshments, she asked the purpose of my visit.

I repeated the same story and when I mentioned Cara's name, she smiled.

"I've often wondered what happened to her," she informed me. "She was so bright, she could have done anything she wanted with her life, if only people would have stopped holding the nature of her birth against her."

"You were fond of her then?"

Cara had laid down beside my chair when we entered but now she sat up.

"Very. I could not have a family of my own but she became almost like a daughter to me. I tried not to care too much for her, I had pledged myself to the Gods and felt I was breaking that vow in some small way, but she just has this way of working herself into your affections. I had hoped that she might join the church, that way I could keep her with me and watch over her, but she never received the calling."

"She told me she worked here though."

"As a cleaner," she said with derision. "We couldn't allow her to study theology because she was not a member of this order, but the outside world shunned her for her appearance. I remember that every time she went out, she wore a large hooded cloak, trying to hide as much skin as possible. Had I not found a way to allow her to continue to live here in her adulthood, I fear she would have ended up begging on the streets. And she would most likely have starved at that, because so few had any compassion for her. It was a waste of her talents and her intellect, but I couldn't see a better solution."

"She was happy here," I assured her, because she sounded so pained.

"As a child, yes, but as an adult? How could she be? Her classmates were going out into the world, getting jobs and finding partners, raising families. All she had to look forward to was a mop and access to our non theological library." She drank a sip of her herbal tea. "Truth be told, I feared the worst when she disappeared. She left a note but I could not see how she would survive in the wider world on her own. People can be so cruel. To know that she somehow made her way to Asgard…" Her eyes misted over. "She always wanted to travel and I can't tell you how happy it makes me that her dream came true."

Cara rested her head on my knee and I scratched behind her ears.

"Tell me, are you still in touch with her?" the Grand Master enquired.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just an old woman's fears. I would like to know that she is still well."

Cara turned her head and looked up into my eyes.

"Grand Master, I understand your faith allows for confessions to be kept secret, does it not?"

"Yes, of course."

"And does that apply to people who might not be of your faith?"

"It applies to anyone who is holding a cleansing stone while they make their confession."

She reached under her voluminous robes and withdrew a long silver chain, at the end of which was a crystal, bound to the chain with silver wire. She pulled the chain over her head and passed it to me.

"Hold this and your confession will remain with me until my death."

Just to be sure, I also cast a quick dome of silence over our party, which would prevent anyone from eavesdropping on the conversation.

I looked down to Cara. "Do you want to show her?"

She blinked once so I summoned a large tunic from my belongings and placed the garment over her head and as she changed back, she slipped her arms into the sleeves.

"Oh my word!" the grand master cried, covering her mouth with her hand as her tears spilled over. She got to her feet and held her arms wide and Cara eagerly got to her feet and embraced the older woman.

"You were gone so long without a word, I thought you might be dead."

"I travelled as a cat," Cara said, and I could tell she was crying too. "Until I met Loki, I lived mostly in that form."

"I should have known you'd find a way." The Grand Master pulled away and cupped Cara's cheek. "You look very well, my dear."

"I am well, Gran." She'd told me that was the children's affectionate name for the Grand Master, especially since many of the younger ones couldn't pronounce such a large title easily.

"But how did you get off Vanaheim?"

"Remember when we were taught that before the bifrost, permanent portals led between worlds?"

The older woman nodded.

"I was researching all the locations before I left, hoping that I could find one that still worked. I had to travel halfway across the realm before I found one though."

"Only you would think of something like that."

The Grand master retook her seat and Cara sat herself beside me, taking my hand.

"So you and Prince Loki are…?"

"Lovers," Cara admitted. "The Aesir think no more kindly of the Jotun than our people do, so to everyone else at the palace I'm his familiar."

"You're a sorcerer?" she asked Loki.

"A very talented one," Cara beamed. "But when we're alone I can be myself and you should see the library they have, Gran, it's more than I could read in two lifetimes."

"And you're happy?" she asked seriously.

"Living as a cat isn't ideal," Cara admitted, "but it serves my purpose. In the two years I've been with Loki, I've visited three other realms, not including this trip. Loki helped me learn to fight to, and my feline persona has a suit of armour, so I can even help protect the realms. All in all, I've never been so happy, Gran."

The Grand master looked to me. "You must be a very special young man."

"I like to think so but when it comes to seeing Cara for who she is rather than what she is, no more special than you, surely." I looked over at Cara. "And she is someone very special indeed."

They continued to chat for another hour, catching up with each other's lives as much as they could, but then the courtyard bell rang.

"Sacrament in ten minutes," the Grand Master said, her smile fading.

"I remember," Cara smiled.

"Will I see you again?"

"We return home tomorrow but if we come back to Vanaheim for any reason, of course."

"If you wished to write to one another, I could act as go between." I offered.

"Letters can be intercepted," the older women stated, shaking her head. "I couldn't live with myself in my letters were the reason your happiness was ruined."

Both women stood up and embraced once more.

"Just take care of yourself," the Grand Master said. "And if you pass this way again, know that you're always welcome."

"Thank you, Gran."

They separated and both women had to wipe tears away.

"And now I must lead the sacrament."

Cara turned back into her feline form and I removed her tunic with magic.

"Be well, my friends, and may the Gods watch over and bless you."

"And you, Grand Master." I bowed my head.

* * *

I could tell that Cara felt happier as we returned to the castle and that the usual spring in her step was back. As soon as we were behind closed doors, I locked them with magic and she changed back into a person.

"Thank you," she said, hugging me tightly. "I'm sorry I've been so depressed lately."

"It's understandable," I assured her.

I poured a glass of wine from the carafe that was always in the room but we would have to share as they only provided one goblet. Cara didn't seem to mind and seated herself on my lap as I sat on the sofa.

"How do you feel about your mother now?" I asked her.

She sighed. "It's not as if I don't understand why she gave me away, it must be awful to have a constant reminder of something so traumatic at the same time, the injustice of it all hurts. I've done nothing wrong here but I'm blamed for something that I had no control over. I didn't ask to be born."

"I know, love," I assured her.

"And I'm a good person. The worst thing I've ever done was steal some coins from the collection box to buy books with."

"Clearly the act of a hardened criminal," I teased.

She smiled. "I even confessed to Gran, I felt so guilty."

"And what was the punishment?"

"The church keeps two libraries, one for the religious texts and ancient scrolls that the theologians study, and one open to anyone, including the town. Gran made me donate the books to them, and she explained that they had a fund and if I wanted a book that wasn't there, I could suggest it and at the end of each month, the list of requested books was reviewed and the most popular or the most interesting were added to the collection."

"No punishment?"

"I had to volunteer in the library for a year, which actually meant I had more say over which books were purchased." She flashed me a cheeky grin. "I never left actually, I helped out there every day until I left."

I smiled, thinking how wise the Grand Master must be, to encourage the children away from wrongdoing, rather than simply punishing them.

"Thank you for taking me," Cara smiled at me. "I was so focused on what I didn't have, that I forgot about what I did have. Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive, love."


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight**

 **Cara**

The day started out like any other. Loki and I ate in the communal dining room and Loki prepared me a plate of their food, which had been his habit recently. After that we headed to the training ground and he summoned my armour, because I always train with Loki and his friends these days.

I had accompanied Loki to half a dozen skirmishes so far but had never been in any real danger. Most marauders fled when they heard we were coming, so we had to round them up. The only true battle I'd been in, Asgard so outnumbered the Frost Giants that the skirmish lasted only minutes. Loki and I didn't even get to fight anyone that day.

I had been training with Thor a lot recently, usually working as a team with Loki, and it was for Thor's benefit as much as mine because Thor could beat almost anyone when it came to brute strength, but both Loki and I were unconventional fighters. Loki used his magic to distract and his daggers were thrown from a distance, while I used my quick reflexes and flexibility to dodge Mjolnir, and do my best to land a killing or wounding 'bite' on Thor. Of course I never bit down, but on one occasion I had managed to jump on Thor's back and place my teeth around his jugular.

Mind you, I'd only beaten him that once. Still, I was improving and Thor was Asgard's best warrior, so I felt that even one victory was pretty impressive.

The back is my preferred attack point because I can dig my claws into their shoulders and it's very hard to hit or dislodge something from your back.

I'd taken more than my fair share of nasty blows since we'd started too. My armour was padded and had magical enhancements that absorbed most of the force I was struck with, but I'd limped off the practice grounds a time or two. Loki had improved the healing potion even more, over the years, so I healed very quickly and without the need for outside intervention, but every time Thor caught me with Mjolnir I still felt it for a few days.

Today I was practising against Fandral, who was a joy to train with as he couldn't help making quips. I could leap a much greater distance than his sabre so the trick was to keep a safe distance and wait for the right time to pounce. My natural animal instincts served me well but we were about 50/50 as to who won each bout.

We were circling each other, preparing for another round when a bell rang, and everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to the balcony that overlooked the train grounds.

I knew what the bell meant, that we were needed immediately, but it had never been rung while I was training before.

The man standing there was Odin.

"All Einherjar and warriors to the bifrost now. The Eldjotnar are laying waste to villages in

Alfheim, searching for the Eye of Barri with which to free Surtu."

Everyone began running.

Horses were already being brought out of the stables and riders jumping on them, usually two per horse as there weren't enough for the foot infantry to have a horse each. I ran beside Loki and Fandral, who were sharing the same horse, Fandral riding and Loki holding on behind him.

They galloped straight into the observatory and into the waiting bifrost beam.

We landed on a beautiful region of Alfheim, until we looked behind us. The landscape looked like a wasteland, with fires still burning but mostly, I just saw black where the fires had consumed everything.

We could see where the brightest, or in other words, the newest fires were and headed there. Despite the evacuation here having been chaotic, the army of Asgard was back in formation as we neared the Fire Giants, the cause of all this destruction.

The Eldjotnar saw us coming and turned away from their original path of destruction, heading for us.

As our party slowed to a stop and Loki jumped down from the horse, I noticed that even Odin was with us, riding his eight legged horse. I knew this must be bad for the Einherjar to be called into action, they were the elite of all of Asgard's soldiers, but for Odin to be here too, these people must pack some serious power.

Odin was calling out orders for the Einherjar and Loki crouched down beside me, casting a spell over me.

"Your armour will protect you from most of the heat and that spell should keep the flames away from you, but it's not perfect and you _will_ feel the heat." He conjured the shoes that came with the armour. I hardly ever wore them because they interfered with my ability to claw my opponents.

"Be careful and whatever you do, don't touch them, they will burn you on contact and my magic can't protect you from that."

I blinked once, 'yes', to show that I understood.

"Good, keep me in sight and try to come at them from behind while I distract them. They'll be easier to deal with face down on the ground as they can't throw fireballs that way."

I blinked once again.

"Forward!" I heard Odin roar, and as one, we marched towards the pack of Fire Giants.

It was hard to tell how many Giants there were, their bodies actually seemed to be flaming so they blurred into one at times, but for a while, we seemed to be winning.

We had been fighting for perhaps half an hour, taking our opponents down and then out, when the leader of the Fire Giants said something and all the remaining warriors burst into flames. A shockwave came from them, knocking some of our number to the ground, but the wall of heat was the worst thing because we could no longer get close enough to them to fight.

A wall of red hot fire advanced upon us and I noticed that Loki seemed to be in a bad way, not injured but more tired than he should be by this point in the fight. Of course, the heat was getting to me too but he looked in worse shape than I did.

"Father, Thor!" Loki called, and both men quickly appeared at his side. "I need your power," he said, and both men held one of his shoulders.

Mjolnir began to spark with lightening and Gungnir glowed and a second later, Loki stepped forward, out of their grip and let loose a huge blast of elemental magic in the form of ice. One of the Eldjotnar must have noticed and although I couldn't see which ones targeted him, two fireballs flew at Loki.

If I could have used my claws I would have reared up, sunk them into Loki's shoulders and pulled him back, but I couldn't with these shoes on, so I had no choice but to push him forward. One fireball missed him but the second hit him as we went down. I could see the flames ripple out over his armour, creating a green shimmer as magic repelled them but once the flames died down, Loki was still.

Thor turned him over and his face was scorched, despite all his protective magic.

Odin gave an order I couldn't hear but the next thing I knew, silver arrows were flying. If any penetrated the wall of fire that the group had formed, I couldn't see that they did any damage.

In fact, the fire around the Fire Giants appeared to be both growing and getting hotter, and I had a sick feeling that I knew what was about to happen.

There was only one way I could think to survive it, and possibly even protect some of the soldiers, but it would take a tremendous amount of energy, and my secret would be out. Unless…

I ran away from Loki, taking refuge behind something too charred black to tell what it originally had been, then I shrank into a house cat, easily slipping out of my armour with my smaller size.

I wondered how big an animal I could actually become, I'd never tried anything larger than a horse because it used up too much of my magic, but the bigger the better so I had to try.

I took a deep breath and imagined the scales, the leathery wings, the huge claws and I felt myself swelling in size. My hideout was no longer hiding me, I had outgrown it and now people began to notice me, pointing and shouting; they feared me.

But I had no time to waste, the wall of fire was growing larger and hotter each second.

I flapped my wings and took off into the skies but I had not flown ten feet when I saw a huge ball of fire detach from the Eldjotnar and head towards Loki, Thor and Odin. I twisted around and landed before them with my back to the Fire Giants, spreading my wings as wide as they would go and curving them protectively around as many people as I could.

The fire hit my back and I let out an inhuman shriek; how hot must it have been to hurt a dragon, I wondered, but my instincts were kicking in. Dragons are not known for their even temperament.

I was too angry to think my plan through and I turned on the Giants, flapping my great wings to help clear the flames that surrounded them as I ran. I picked up the first giant I saw with my clawed feet, then the next, then a third and fourth, as I flapped my wings and took off. They tried to burn me more but it wasn't the white hot heat they had aimed at Loki and I could well endure it.

Up and up I flew, higher and higher, then I dropped them. The wind killed their flame as they fell and they landed with a sickening thud. I shrieked as I flew in a circle, seeing where I could next strike.

With the numbers reduced and the Eldjotnar plan upset by my attack, the Aesir were now winning again, beating them back with magical arrows and weapons.

I saw Loki sitting up, dazed but alive, Thor and Odin by his side but all three were staring at me. Then suddenly I fell and had to beat my wings frantically to remain airborne. I was shrinking, coming to the end of my reserves. I knew the ball of flame had badly hurt me, even with the natural protection of being a dragon, but at least Loki was alive.

I needed Loki now, needing to see him, to look into his eyes and hear him tell me everything was going to be fine, even if it was a lie.

The landing was rough and I rolled over and over a few times, aggravating my existing injuries. I had shrunk so that I was now little bigger than a wagon cart. I staggered towards Loki but soon knew I wasn't going to make it, so I summoned the last of my energy and changed back into a person, knowing that I would last a few seconds longer if I didn't have to maintain a larger body mass.

It still wasn't enough and after a few paces, I fell to my knees, collapsing into the scorched earth, my hand outstretched towards Loki and my declaration of love dying unspoken on my lips.

* * *

 **Loki**

While he had guessed that the dragon was Cara, Odin still hadn't realised that Cara was part Frost Giant. That grace couldn't last for long.

The battle was now well in hand but Odin was annoyed.

"Collect your brother's pet," he ordered Thor.

"No," I managed to say but I was ignored. I was still so weak and couldn't understand why. I had been in worse battles than this and fought harder and for longer, yet a few Fire Giants had actually managed to knock me out!

I was pleased to see that Thor gathered Cara into his arms with care and for her sake, I was glad that the soot from the scorched earth covered most of her body, protecting her modesty somewhat. Odin banged Gungnir on the ground and the sound reverberated around the clearing.

"Surrender now and you will live," his unnaturally loud voice boomed out, magically projected.

The remaining few decide to surrender, and as they were bound with chains which prohibited their flames, the remaining Einherjar checked the other bodies on the battlefield for signs of life.

Thor brought Cara close and knelt beside me.

"Loki, what's going on?" he asked, trying to dust off some of the soot from her face.

"Please don't," I asked, but he ignored my plea and licked his thumb to clear a patch of skin.

The Warriors three and Sif joined us at the same time as Odin returned, and the cool atmosphere among my family confused them.

Fandral helped me to my feet then slung my arm around his shoulders, helping me stay upright, as Odin cast a glance at Cara, noticing the ridges that Thor was seemingly trying to rub away.

Thor might have thought it just a mark but Odin recognised it for what it truly was, and his anger grew hotter.

"Guards!" he called, and four Einherjar ran up. "When we return to Asgard, escort Thor and the girl to the healing rooms then stay there and guard the prisoner."

"Prisoner?" Thor asked.

"She is a Frost Giant, Thor, our enemy, and she has been living under our roof for three years!"

"Cara is not our enemy, Father, she is…" clearly this turn of events confused even Thor.

Odin looked to the heavens. "Heimdall!"

We were swept up into the beam and seconds later, arrived in Asgard.

"Did you know about this?" Odin demanded of the gatekeeper.

"I did not."

"What use is a seer who cannot even spot a spy in our midst!"

The guards and Thor left with Cara, carrying out father's orders and Fandral and I followed.

This was not going to end well for any of us.

* * *

I insisted that Cara be treated first, knowing that I would be banned from the healing rooms the moment my treatment was finished. I watched as they cleaned her off and treated the burns on her back. How hot did a fire have to be to burn a dragon? I wondered.

Thor stood beside me, brimming with questions but unsure how to ask them.

The door opened and Frigga stepped into the room.

"How is she?" she came straight to me.

"Badly burned," Thor answered. "She will be in pain for a while, if she wakes."

"She might not?" Frigga sounded shocked.

"The healers have never treated a shapeshifter or a half Jotun before," I finally spoke. "They don't know much of anything for certain."

"Which is why I brought this." She brandished the potion I always kept on hand for Cara's illnesses and wounds.

"You knew?"

Frigga simply smiled enigmatically. "I assumed you would tell us in your own time. Now that I know she is half Jotun, I understand your reticence."

"Father thinks she's a spy," I said, my voice cold with anger. "She saved his life out there, she saved all our lives, and he still thinks she is in league with our enemy."

"Your father thinks many things that I disagree with. Let me give her some of this," she brandished the potion, "then we'll get you seen and go somewhere we can talk."

* * *

"Why did you not tell anyone!" Odin demanded.

"Because I knew how you and Thor would react!" I shouted back.

It was the day after the battle and while Cara was awake, she was still in the healing rooms, under armed guard, and I was forbidden to see her. Time however, had done nothing to soothe Odin's temper.

"She saved your life and still you think her a spy. Even Thor has the good sense to realise that after saving our lives, she _might not_ be the enemy!"

Thor and I were in Odin's rooms to discuss the situation, but so far that discussion consisted of Odin hurling unfounded accusations at the woman I loved.

"You had no right to bring her into our home!"

The doors opened and in stepped Frigga and a rather reluctant Cara. She had been bathed and was dressed in one of Mother's simpler, loose gowns. She looked terrified but resigned.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Odin demanded, pointing at Cara.

"I thought it best to hear all sides of the story before coming to a conclusion," mother replied serenely as she urged Cara further into the room.

"This is nothing to do with her!" Odin barked.

"I rather think it has everything to do with her," Frigga replied.

"Guards!" Odin called, and the four who had been guarding Cara in the healing rooms came in. "Take her to the dungeon until we decide what to do with her."

"No!" I shouted, and the guards halted, unsure of themselves. I rounded on Odin. "Have you forgotten that she _saved your life_ yesterday!"

"I think you will find that she was saving _yours_ ."

"She wasn't-"

"Silence!" Odin's voice reverberate around the room. "You brought the enemy into my home, you do not get a say in her fate! She has blinded you with her wiles and you have fallen under her spell, you stupid boy!"

"He's not stupid!" Everyone was surprised to hear Cara speak, mostly because it was the first time they had ever heard her voice. "Loki is good and strong and brave, but you're too blinded by Thor to see him for who he truly is!"

Odin narrowed his eyes at her. "Now look here-"

"No, you look here!" she spat back. "You want to know why I hid? Because everywhere I go I'm confronted with people who hate me because my father was Jotun. My mother abandoned me, couldn't even stand to look at me so the church raised me. No one on Vanaheim wanted anything to do with me though, so I lived there into adulthood, cleaning floors because no profession would have me, so I changed into a jaguar and I left. No one judges a cat, you see, not even if they're afraid of it. I have lived my entire life being blamed for my father raping my mother and while I may be sick of it, I expect nothing more from people. You're all just the same prejudiced bigots, no matter where I go. So lock me up, banish me, kill me, I don't care. I knew when I exposed my gift as a shapeshifter, you would find out, but I thought it was worth it to save Loki's life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. My only regret is that I saved your life too."

Mother was trying to repress a grin, while Thor and Odin looked dumbfounded. All I felt was pride.

The girl I met in the forest three years ago would never have had the courage to say that.

Cara turned to the door and the guards waiting there. "Take me to the dungeons, please. The company there can hardly be any more narrow-minded than it is here."

The guards took a moment to move, then they escorted her out of the room.

I stepped forward. "In front of witnesses, I wish to make it known that whatever punishment you mete out for Cara, I expect the same. I brought her here knowing full well what she was, and I have protected her secret ever since. If you kill or banish her, you must give me the same sentence."

"Loki, no," Cara looked back over her shoulder, eyes pleading with me.

"Our crimes are the same and to treat us differently would not be justice."

Cara tried to say more but the guards manhandled her out of the room.

"What a brave young woman," Frigga stated.

Odin simply glared at her.

Although I wanted to go with Cara, I remained where I was and waited for the reaction.

* * *

 **Cara**

Alone in my pristine white but soulless cell, I shed most of my clothes and transformed into a jaguar, pulling the rest of my clothes off after the transformation because the cells had transparent frontages. I didn't want this lot getting an eyeful.

Then I lay down, put my head between my paws and waited.

I knew I should feel bad about having yelled at the king, but all my life other people had been putting me down for no good reason. For once, it felt good to push back, to have my words heard.

Of course, I doubted they would do any good.

I have no idea how long I waited but the guards went past four times before I heard new footfalls.

My ears twitched and my eyes followed Loki and Frigga as they came into view, but I didn't move.

"You don't have to be a cat now, my dear," Frigga told me kindly.

"She doesn't do it only to hide," Loki explained. "She likes being a jaguar because her unpleasant emotions are lessened. In fact I first found her in this state, she'd been living almost exclusively as a Jaguar for years by then, travelling the realms and seeing things that she couldn't see as herself."

Frigga considered his words for a moment then smiled.

"I'm truly sorry about this, my dear. Odin will come around, he just has a few issues to work through first, but I won't let him harm you."

I whimpered in thanks but I didn't actually believe her.

"How long have you known?" Loki asked.

"I suspected the first time you brought her here, when she was sick, but I didn't know until she brought you back after the bilgesnipe attack."

So many things were making sense to me now. How she had spoken to me on a few occasions, as if she knew I could understand her. Why she chose Mamalin as my keeper, rather than a strong man. Why she sometimes had issues with hygiene at the dinner table and sent me away, but only family dinners when Odin was around; she was allowing me to escape him. She had been our silent ally all along.

"And you never said anything?" Loki asked.

"I didn't foresee that she would cause any problems, and I wanted you both to have the time and space to explore your relationship."

I whined again, louder this time, in thanks.

"What is she saying?"

"I don't speak Jaguar," Loki said with a smile, "But I believe she's saying 'thank you'."

"So you can't communicate when she's like this?"

"She understands everything I say and while she may not be able to speak, she can get her point across well enough."

"I suspect your bond helps, with that."

I blinked once.

"She says 'yes'," he explained.

"You communicate through blinking?"

"Only yes or no. One for yes, two for no. The rest is just… well as you say, our bond."

Frigga approached the force field that kept me confined here. "I have much to thank you for," she told me. "First of all, for saving my family yesterday. Many have told of your heroism out there, and I saw for myself the injuries you sustained."

I gave a small mewl.

"She says, 'you're welcome'."

"And I also must thank you for loving my son. I've watched with a happy heart as you opened him up to new experiences."

I looked away and covered my nose with my paw. Frigga looked to Loki for an explanation.

"She doesn't feel that is something she can be thanked for. She feels that she got the better deal when she came to live here, because she could see so much more at my side than she could as a wild animal."

I blinked once.

"You know her very well," Frigga observed, and I blinked once in agreement. "I would have thought that this inability to speak for periods of time would hinder a connection but quite the opposite seems to be true."

"I can't really say what it is, Mother. Something about her, whether she's in her person or feline form, just feels… right. You know I often feel as though I don't fit in but with her, she accepts me as I am, warts and all. More than that, she loves me."

I began to cry and wiped my tears away with a paw.

"I never knew cats could cry."

"They can't," Loki explained. "But of course, she isn't wholly a cat."

"So how does it work?" she asked me, even although I couldn't answer.

"Shall I?" Loki asked me, and I blinked 'yes'.

"She's not sure herself. Shapeshifting is a rare Jotun gift that she must have inherited from her father, so the church who raised her couldn't school her very much on that ability. From assuming the forms of various animals, she says that she develops the mentality and instincts of whatever animal's form she chooses to take, and that the longer she lives as one species, the more its natural instincts override hers. She's still always in there, but she suspects if she spent decades never changing back, she could become much more feral. Conversely when she is in her person form, some of the animal traits still stay with her, especially if she has been the same animal continuously for a while, or if she frequently changes into the same animal."

"I've never observed her angry before, other than with Wancor, but even then she only seemed upset rather than angry. I wonder if her outburst at Odin might have been the remnants of the dragon?"

I saw Loki's face fall and I blinked twice, 'no'.

"It wasn't the dragon?" Frigga asked.

I blinked once.

"So you really were that angry with him?"

I didn't blink because it wasn't a yes or no answer.

"I think that perhaps she feels that that she wasn't a dragon for long enough for it to have had lasting effects, I'd say she spent less than ten minutes in that form. Instead I think that after a lifetime of preconceived notions about her, she finally had enough."

He was almost right, but I didn't truly find the courage to speak out until I heard Odin speak ill of Loki.

"Are you sure her anger didn't come from her defence of you?" Frigga asked him.

Loki looked at me and I blinked once.

A small smile crept onto his lips.

"I believe you might be right, Mother."

"I usually am," she teased. "I have to ask though, if she has the ability to change shape, why does she not simply erase the Jotun ridges and live as a Vanir?"

"She can't. She's not sure why but for every animal she changes into, she only has one version and she could no more alter her appearance to appear a full Vanir, than she could become a blonde jaguar."

Frigga nodded her understanding then tuned to me.

"Now my dear, I think this will last overnight at least, until Odin has a chance to cool down and realises that we weren't keeping things from him for nefarious reasons, but that does mean you will be in here at least one night."

I gave a long suffering sigh.

"So, would you like a human dinner, or a jaguar dinner?"

I didn't reply.

"Oh, I'm sorry. A human dinner?"

I blinked twice.

"A jaguar meal?"

One blink.

"Then that's what I'll tell the kitchen to serve. Do I assume that you are weakened?"

Although the healers and Loki's potion had restored a little of my energy, I was still quite weak.

I blinked once in reply.

"Is two portions enough?"

One blink.

"Good. Is there anything I can get you to make you more comfortable?"

I blinked 'no'.

"Then just stay strong and this will all be over soon. I'll come back again and visit you in the morning."

"I'd like to join her," Loki stated.

"Loki, I can't bring the force field down."

"But you can order a guard to. You know I don't have anything nefarious planned."

"I'll see what I can do," she smiled,

"And send some books with my meal, would you? There's little entertainment here and Cara likes being read to."

"Can she not read in this form?"

"No, she can, but turning pages is rather difficult."

"Of course," Frigga gave a soft laugh. "I'll leave you two alone." She patted Loki's arm and walked off.

It took a few minutes but eventually the force field lowered and Loki stepped in. It came back on again almost instantly.

Loki lay down on the floor beside me, his head propped upon one hand and stroked me from neck to tail.

"Thank you, darling. It seems once again that I owe you my life."

In battle, he had saved mine more than the other way around, so I chuffed with disapproval.

"Nonetheless, what you did was remarkable.

I got up and walked over to the back wall of this cell and looked expectantly at Loki. He took the hint and moved to sit with his back against the wall, while I laid down, and rested my head in his lap.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine**

 **Loki**

"I don't understand what's taking so long," I mused aloud. We'd been in this cell for two days now.

Technically I was free to leave whenever I wanted but Cara and I were in this together, thus I had sworn to be treated and punished in the same way she was.

Of course, we were both innocent of any crime, all we had done was hide Cara's true nature for fear of her being judged, but that in itself wasn't illegal.

"Unless we really are being banished," I continued aloud.

Cara raised her head from my lap and chuffed in reply.

"Of course I'm going with you."

She growled.

"I don't want to be a part of a family or a society that judges people without proof, based solely on an accident of birth."

She mewled mournfully.

"It won't be so bad," I assured her. "We can travel, like you have always wanted to. I know the locations of five working portals on Asgard, so as well as Vanaheim we can visit Midgard, Jotunheim, Alfheim, which is actually very lovely when Fire Giants aren't scorching the landscape, or there's Nifleheim which is cold most of the year but a lovely place to visit."

She let out a low cry and I reached out and scratched behind her ears until she settled in my lap again.

"I know it's not ideal, but we won't be banished forever. Once Thor is king, he will pardon us. I think Midgard might be a nice place to settle, they're a little primitive but they do have some culture. And they regard us as Gods, which is never a bad thing."

"I heard you had insisted on being locked in here with her." I looked up to see Odin standing by our cell and I glared at him.

"It's not so bad. A little spartan but I have slept in worse, although the lack of privacy will become tiresome quickly."

"Why do you insist on these theatrics?"

"As I said, our crimes, if they can be called that, are exactly the same. Whatever sentence you impose on Cara, you must also impose on me."

"Even if I declare this a capital crime?"

"I will not allow it, I will fight you, we both will, and we will have support because your accusations are wholly unjust. All but a blind man can see that."

Odin regarded me with his one remaining eye. "Would you really leave with her?"

"Why would I not?"

"Because this is your home, and you have a duty to your family and the realms."

"I have no duty to any family or realm that punishes the woman I love unjustly. Cara has committed no crime, she simply sought to protect herself from the same prejudice she has faced her entire life. You know in your heart of hearts that she has done no wrong while she has been here, to say nothing of how she saved your life. Yet for an accident of birth, you too seek to punish her. I will not stand for it, Father."

Odin sagged slightly. "I have been to Vanaheim and spoken with the church who raised her. They confirm her story and speak highly of her." He tapped gungnir on the ground and the force field lowered. "You are both free to leave but be aware, wherever she goes, whatever she does, I will be watching."

I urged Cara off my lap and got to my feet but as I stepped out of the cell, I paused beside Odin.

"What did the Jotun do to you that makes you fear even another victim of their crimes?"

I knew he wouldn't answer; Odin had more secrets than I ever could.

Recently though, ever since I had met Cara, I had asked myself what I really knew about the Jotun.

The answer was virtually nothing. I have visited every realm and met every species, except for Jotunheim and the Frost Giants. All I really knew of them were Odin's warnings, and what I had been taught about during history lessons.

I was told that the Jotun were monsters, fierce, primitive creatures, skilled fighters with a thirst for blood, and that all of this was in their nature. I had never been allowed to fight the Jotun. When a few of their number caused trouble, Odin made me, and usually Thor too, stay behind while he handled the marauders himself.

He said that we were not ready to face them, that they were too ferocious for all but the best fighters in Asgard. The problem was, Thor and I were now among the best fighters in Asgard.

I knew he was hiding something, I just didn't know what. My best guess was that his victory wasn't as honourable as he would have everyone believe, but history is written by the victors, so even my precious books could not shed any light on the matter.

What had Odin done to them that was so awful he still feared its discovery almost a thousand years later?

I noticed Cara was still in the cell, facing Odin, staring him down.

"You're free to go," Odin told her sharply.

Cara lowered her head very slightly, almost in an imitation of a bow, then she came to my side and we walked out together.

* * *

"There's my favourite cat!" Fandral said with a wide grin as we walked along the hallway to the dining hall.

We had been getting strange looks as most people must have heard at least some of what had happened, but since Cara was still a cat, no one paid us very much attention. Until now.

"I have to say, I was hoping to see you looking like a girl though. Perhaps you'd even spare me a dance at the next gathering, and I can try to tempt you away from this clown." He winked as he aimed a thumb at Loki.

Cara surprised me then, pouncing on Fandral, pushing him to the ground and holding him there with her forepaws on his chest while she growled at him.

"I don't think she appreciates your tone," I said, not even trying to call Cara off.

"I was just trying to be friendly," he said, holding his hands up in surrender.

I reached down and stroke Cara's head.

"She used to like you," I told Fandral. "Perhaps if you stopped trying to chat her up and treat her the same way as before, she might let you up."

Cara growled.

"And stop reminding people she isn't just a Jaguar, let her reveal her true form in her own time."

"Yes, yes, of course."

Cara licked his cheek and got off him.

Fandral sat up so he was on her level. "I'm sorry, Cara, I was trying to make you feel at home, but that was thoughtless of me."

Cara nudged his shoulder with her head and Fandral raised a hand to pet her.

Other than when we were alone, Cara stayed in her cat form for the next few weeks. Little changed, other than people actually greeting Cara when we joined them, and she usually gave a small chuff in reply.

We trained, ate, drank and socialised as we used to and gradually, Cara began to relax.

Five days after we had been released from the cell, Frigga came to my rooms to see us, and Cara reverted to her feline form the moment she knocked.

"Good evening," she smiled as she came in.

"What can we do for you?" I asked as we headed over to the couches by my bookcases.

She turned to Cara, who was sitting in front of me. "I don't want to pressure you, but I came to ask if you would show me your true face."

Cara mewled and leaned against my legs.

"She's embarrassed," I explained. "She doesn't generally get a good reaction when people see her Jotun markings."

"I thought it must be something like that." She turned to Cara. "But I've already seen them," Frigga smiled gently. "Both while you were in the healing room and when I brought you to confront Odin. You're very beautiful. I just thought that it might be a little easier to start with just one person."

Cara was silent and didn't reply with a positive or negative.

"I also had an idea for a spell for Cara that I wanted to discuss with you, Loki."

"Oh?"

Cara relaxed the moment attention was diverted away from her.

"Yes. You see, from what I understand, when she changes back, she's nude and of course, before she changes, she probably has to disrobe or risk getting tangled in her clothes. I was thinking that either we could teach Cara a variation of a summoning spell, or we could somehow cast a spell on her so that when she changes her outfit disappears, and when she changes back, it reappears."

"Cara can't perform magic while in her feline form. I can't say why exactly, but I suspect it either has something to do with the amount of energy it takes for her to maintain the higher mass, or because of the changes in her brain, perhaps animals cannot perform the higher level thinking required to control magic."

"Then I believe we will have to enchant a part of her body. Does any region change first?"

"No, the change is almost instantaneous."

Cara's head moved between us as she followed the conversation.

After discussing various spells, we moved onto which body part to enchant and Cara bared her teeth.

"You don't like that idea?" Frigga asked.

"I don't think it's that."

Cara looked to me and licked a canine. I grinned. "Brilliant idea, darling." I looked to Frigga. "She thinks we should enchant a tooth.

Cara looked to Frigga and blinked once.

"Teeth are permanent; not shed, renewed or replaced. Very good idea, Cara."

She mewled.

We continued discussing the parameters of the spell until it was time for dinner. Cara and I made our way to one of the communal dining rooms to eat with Thor and the warriors.

When we got back we headed straight to bed but I could tell Cara wasn't in the mood for sex; she probably had a lot on her mind. I lay facing her, waiting for her to say what she needed to. "Can, uh, can we invite your mother to diner?"

"In our rooms?"

"Yes."

"Of course. Any reason?" I almost didn't dare hope.

"I though… I thought it might be easier to meet her, you know, properly, without any prying eyes."

I smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

"Do you… do you think she'll like me?"

"I think she already loves you," I assured her. "When do you want to do it?"

"Tomorrow? Any longer and I'll obsess over it and probably back out."

"I'll organise everything in the morning."

"Thank you."

* * *

 **Cara**

If I might be forgiven for using an incredibly apt pun, I was like a cat on a hot tin roof the next day, even when in my feline form, which just goes to show how nervous I was.

I realised that I hadn't even considered things such as what to wear, and whether my table manners would be up to par for a Queen. I mean, I had eaten with Loki quite a few times, and it's not as if we weren't taught such things in the orphanage but these people ate dishes and courses I'd never heard of before.

Loki came to my rescue each time, assuring me he was keeping the meal simple, getting me a selection of outfits to wear, assuring me that I did not need the elaborate hairstyles that many Aesir women sported, and basically just calming me down each time I let my fears get the better of me.

As the hour approached I looked at myself in the mirror. My dress was lovely, in a shade of blue to match my eyes and very flattering to my figure. My hair was freshly washed and brushed to within an inch of its life, but the look was ruined by the pale white ridges on my arms, face and neck.

I grabbed a shawl to cover my arms and brushed all my long hair in front of my shoulders, which hid a little of my chest and neck. Then I folded a section of my hair down over my forehead, wondering if I should cut a fringe. It wasn't a popular style, but it would cover a little bit more of the skin that everyone found so offensive.

"Darling." Loki came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "You look stunning."

He tried to remove my shawl but I tightened my grip.

"She's already seen the markings, remember?"

I let the shawl slip from my grasp, then I allowed him to sweep my hair back behind my shoulders, and shuddered as he placed a kiss on my neck.

"You're perfect," another kiss. "Just," kiss, "the," kiss, "way," kiss, "you," kiss, "are."

Under his skilful ministrations, I was becoming putty in his hands, my fears evaporating, until we heard a knock on the door.

I felt myself tense up immediately.

"Come on," Loki said softly.

"Just give me a minute?"

He nodded. "Don't be long."

"I won't."

I paced back and forth in the small room, fighting the urge to change and just run as fast as I could.

I heard their greeting, then Loki got her a drink, and I paced. They began to chat softly, and I paced. Frigga laughed at something, and I paced.

Finally I decided that I was being ridiculous. Worrying about her reaction was almost worse than being rejected, because then at least I would know where I stood. Better to get it over with.

I stepped towards the doors with confidence, but it evaporated the moment Frigga and Loki came into view, and my pace slowed to a crawl as I swept my hair back in front of me, lowering my head so it acted more as a curtain to hide behind. It reminded me of how I used to go about in a hooded cloak on Vanaheim, my head lowered so no one could see my face unless I looked up.

Loki noticed me immediately and Frigga turned to me a moment later. She smile warmly and got to her feet.

"My dear," she said, approaching me with her arms out. "It's so good to finally meet you properly."

I stiffened as she embraced me but as I relaxed, her hug became stronger and I tentatively put my arms around her.

When she pulled away, she smiled and brushed my hair away from my face before cupping both cheeks in her hands and rubbing the slightly raised ridges on my cheekbones with her thumbs.

"You're stunning, my dear."

"Thank you." I blushed and looked down.

"Why don't you come and join us? Loki was just telling me about the prank you and he pulled on Thor a few weeks ago."

I smiled, remembering Thor's face. Mjolnir couldn't be directly affected by most magic, so Loki had cast an invisibility spell on a scarf and while Thor was waiting his turn on the training grounds, I placed the scarf over his hammer. I then got the replica we'd fashioned out and placed it right beside the invisible hammer. When Thor picked it up, it turned to sand.

For a few minutes he had been convinced that he had somehow broken Mjolnir, because Loki had been in plain sight, practising the whole time, so he couldn't be blamed for it. The funniest thing was that while he was shouting and wailing, he didn't even think to try and summon the hammer, which would obviously have answered his call.

When the servant knocked with the food, I sat in a high backed chair that faced away from the door, and remained there until the food had been laid out and the servant had left.

"I must start preparing for the visit from Vanaheim soon," Frigga began a new discussion. "These state events are incredibly tedious."

"When are they coming?" Loki asked.

"Almost three months, but you know I like to be prepared." She looked to me. "I wonder if you might like to help me?"

"Help you?" I asked with incredulity. It wasn't that the concept of helping someone else was alien to me, just that I didn't see what help I could be with an official state event. I knew hardly anything about such things.

"Yes, your knowledge of Vanaheim will surely help me make this an enjoyable event for them."

I wanted to say no, to continue to hide in the shadows, but she had been so kind to me that it felt incredibly selfish to refuse.

"Of course, if you'd rather not, that's all right," she smiled, which confirmed my answer.

"I'd love to help." That was overstating it slightly, but I couldn't let her think I was doing this under duress, because that would be unfair.

"Wonderful. How about if I come here tomorrow afternoon and we can begin mapping out the proceedings? Once we know what we're doing, we can break each event down and lay out a timetable for everything that needs to be done."

It sounded a little like the rota that we children had for helping out at the orphanage, only on a far grander scale.

It also hadn't slipped my notice that she offered to come here, to Loki's rooms, rather than her study, where others might see me.

* * *

For the first week of helping Frigga, I wasn't given any tasks that required me to interact with other people. Mostly we simply decided on which events to hold on which days, then made lists of what had to be done for each event. The few tasks that did require speaking to other people, Frigga handled, but I began to feel guilty for leaving it all to her.

I had chosen to wear a casual outfit the second time we met, rather like the ones Sif sported when not training, consisting of leather trousers, a long tunic and an optional jacket. Aside from balls, this was probably what my attire would mostly consist of, comfortable and practical clothes, rather than ladylike gowns and dresses.

I had considered trying to look like one of those ladies who had their eye on Loki, or trying to mimic the grace and beauty of the Queen, but that just wasn't me. It was bad enough I had to wear dresses to certain events, but I knew I would not be comfortable in such garments in day to day life.

They were still exquisite, hand tailored and embroidered, so they marked me as a member of the royal household, rather than as a member of the lower classes. Of course, I was an orphan, not even a noble and certainly not royalty, but I knew I had to learn to live in Loki's world, so I put a brave face on my fears.

I would never have guessed that there was so much to do for each events. Frigga planned everything from what music to play, to what plates to eat off and cutlery to eat with, what food to serve and when, flowers, chairs, seating arrangements, how many servants, and on and on it went. I was able to help by telling Frigga what delicacies and beverages were popular on Vanaheim.

I couldn't help but notice that while the Vanir had proudly showed off the best of their own food, culture and produce to our party when we visited, Frigga was going out of her way to make the Vanir feel at home, incorporating elements of their society such as dress, music and food, into everything.

Although Frigga never made any demands of me, I realised that I would have to get over my fears soon and start pulling my weight. I couldn't hide forever.

Over the next week I asked Loki to invite Thor to dine in our rooms, then the warriors three and Sif. This was all part of my plan to out myself at the next palace gathering, attending as Loki's partner, rather than his familiar, but I wanted those I was closest with to be over the shock of seeing my true face, so at least not everyone would be staring on the night.

Since they already knew that I was half Jotun, they all reacted well to my appearance and hid most of their distaste. Sif and Volstagg asked a few rather tactless questions but I don't think they meant to offend me and I thought I handled it well.

Loki taught me the dances and thanks to having watched them so often, I quickly picked up the steps. Realising that being almost nude in front of a seamstress would be excruciating for me, he took my measurements himself and asked for Frigga's help in choosing designs and fabrics.

Loki and Frigga still collaborated on the spell to make my clothes appear and disappear when I changed and two weeks after first discussing it, they were ready to try. Both were talented sorcerers so I trusted them not to turn me into a frog or anything (I'd read about evil witches doing that in a children's book from Midgard).

I lay back on the sofa, my head in Loki's lap as Frigga looked on.

"Open your mouth, darling," Loki instructed, and as he inserted a finger to touch my tooth, I playfully snapped at the digit, making him laugh.

"Behave," he admonished, playfully swatting my nose with a finger.

I did and he touched his index finger to my canine. He closed his eyes and a frown line appeared between his brows as he concentrated, and I felt a strange sort of tingling sensation in my tooth, growing stronger with each passing second until it was uncomfortable, but he stopped before it became painful.

"There," he declared, opening his eyes and smiling proudly. "Try changing."

I didn't bother to move off my back, just changed where I was and raised a paw to check there were no clothes left on my body.

"It worked," Frigga beamed as Loki stroked my tummy.

Even although I was a cat, it felt odd to have his mother watch while Loki stroked my belly, so I got off his lap.

"All right, just wait a second and try changing back," Loki said, heading into the bedroom.

He returned with a bedsheet which he unfolded and held in front of me, between me and his mother.

"Just in case," he informed me.

I changed back but the clothes I had been wearing rematerialized, so Loki lowered the sheet.

"It worked," he grinned at me.

"Oh, this is marvellous," Frigga stepped forward and embraced me. "This will make life so much easier for you." She pulled away and smiled at me. "And it should work so that whatever you were wearing when you transformed, you'll wear the same outfit and hairstyle when you change back.

"But remember," Loki added, "If you change into a cat while nude, you will change back in the nude too."

I blushed at him saying such things in front of his mother but while Frigga send him a chiding look, she didn't seem upset by his comment.

"I've let it go until now, but I think it's time you had a Lady in Waiting," Frigga skilfully directed the conversation away from Loki's ribald comments.

"I don't want a servant."

"I realise this will be a big change for you, but do you know how to care for silk gowns, or where or order hair combs from, or how to do an Asgardian braid?"

"No," I admitted.

"Well, it just so happens that I have been training a new servant up for the task."

"Oh?" Loki asked with a knowing smile. "On the off chance one of your sons would be attached soon?"

"I had a feeling that it would be necessary," Frigga smiled. "I was hoping that Thor might have declared himself to Sif by now too, but I knew that Mamalin's training wouldn't go to waste, either way."

"Mamalin?" I asked.

"Yes, she's a very dear girl, isn't she?"

"Yes but… well, I wouldn't even know how to begin giving her orders."

"Then it's a good thing she's been trained and will not need much in the way of orders. I've already spoken to her, and she said she would be very happy to serve you."

It seemed it was a _fait accompli_ and if I had to have a servant, I could think of no one better than Mamalin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten**

 **Cara**

As the night of the next castle gathering approached, my nerves returned. I knew everyone would stare at me, pointing at the half Jotun girl who has been pretending to be a jaguar for the past three years.

The event was informal but I still had to wear a dress, according to Loki, so I had opted for a sort of long vest jacket, with a pinched waist and a full skirt, so I could wear pants underneath and still sort of follow the dress code. It was Mamalin's suggestion, a look she had modelled on Sif's attire, who also valued practicality.

Despite it not being fashionable, Mamalin left my hair loose, albeit with a few braids in, so that if I needed to use it as a shield, I could.

She also indulged my nerves, although I'm sure my constant questioning of every detail about my outfit must have been boring for her. It was boring enough to me, but I felt that if I could get the ensemble just right I would be accepted.

I know it's foolish, but that's how I felt.

Loki entered while I was still fussing and looked to Mamalin.

"Thank you, I think that will be all for this evening."

She looked to me for confirmation.

"Fret not, I can take care of Cara from this point on, and you must have your own preparations for the dance to do."

I'd forgotten she would be there as well, and now I felt guilty for keeping her here for so long.

"If you're sure, sir." She curtseyed and with a rallying smile at me, left.

"Darling, you look perfect," Loki assured me as I played with one of my cuffs that wouldn't sit properly.

His words reassured me slightly. "Do I really?"

"Yes. There's just one thing missing."

I looked down at myself, suddenly panicked again. "What is it? What did I forget?"

"Nothing, I just think this will help." He held his palm out and a flat, square box appeared there.

I stared at it, recognising it as a jewellery box.

"Well open it," Loki prompted with an indulgent smile.

I stepped closer and tentatively opened the box to find a diamond and sapphire necklace sitting on a velvet cushion.

It was beautiful, a string of sapphires, each surrounded by small diamonds, and a central teardrop shaped sapphire that would sit in the hollow of my throat.

"Loki, it's too much."

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful."

"Then that's what counts." He removed it from the box and undid the clasp. "Turn around."

"Loki-"

"Turn around!" he said, his tone brooking no argument.

I did, and even held my hair out of the way without needing prompting so that he could fasten it, then he clasped my shoulders and turned me to face him.

"There, perfect," he assured me. He held his elbow out to me, "Shall we?"

"What if I lose it?" I asked as we headed out of the room.

"I'll buy you another one."

"Loki! You can't just replace something like this. I could probably buy this whole palace with this."

"Not quite," he smiled.

I don't know if it was his intention or not, but fretting over his gift kept my fears off the gathering, at least until we arrived at the huge hall that the dance was being held in.

"Everything will be fine," he assured me. "Head up, smile and when you feel unsure, just look at me."

I took his advice but I felt incredibly awkward when the conversation about us ceased as we entered. The silence seemed to spread until even the band stopped playing and all eyes were on me. I wished I'd never come.

"Loki, Cara! Come join us!" Thor boomed from across the hall.

As we began to move again, conversation resumed, but I was sure I was the subject of most of it.

Once I took a seat, I felt a little better, knowing I was surrounded by friends, and Loki poured me a goblet of spiced wine, urging me to "Drink up."

I did.

"Finally another woman," Sif grinned at me. "Two out of seven may not sound much but it's better than one out of six."

Fandral raised his goblet. "Here's to more women!"

" _You_ don't need more," Sif rolled her eyes as everyone else at the table groaned.

"Well, I must insist on a dance with the prettiest woman in the room," he grinned at me.

I was well aware of my tendency to keep quiet; when you spend hours each day as a cat who cannot talk, it becomes much less of a need, even when you can speak. This was a rather raucous group though, and if I was ever going to fit into it, I had to learn to speak up for myself and join in with the banter.

"I think you mean, 'the newest'," I asserted.

"No, no, I mean the prettiest," Fandral insisted.

"The problem is, every new face you see at these things is the prettiest."

"The lady has a point," Thor told Fandral, as he and Volstagg burst out laughing while Loki smiled and patted my knee, and even Hogun cracked a small smile.

Fandral easily shrugged off the comments.

"I believe the first dance belongs to me," Loki stated.

"Fine, but I get the second," Fandral added.

"And I the third," Thor chipped in.

"Easy gentlemen," Loki smirked. "You may get to dance with her, but I get to escort her home."

"We'll see." It was a completely impulsive thing to say and I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth, but it was too late to do anything but continue the charade.

"What does that mean?" Loki turned to me.

"Well, I thought since you boys were turning this into a competition, I'd let the best dancer escort me home."

The group cheered and for a fraction of a second, I thought Loki was furious, but then he smirked.

"So that's how you want to play this?" he looked around his friends, then back to me. He stood up and held his hand out towards me, issuing me a challenging stare.

Now I was wondering what I'd got myself into but I took his hand and as soon as I rose to my feet, he pulled me into his arms and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I hope you're ready, darling, because I don't intend to go easy on you."

And with that, he spun me under his arm and out onto the dance floor. I could hardly keep up, not because of the speed of the steps, but because Loki was doing his darndest to seduce me in public. A hand on my hip would slip to the small of my back, pressing me against him. When he turned me, the fingers of his free hand would trail over by body, making my skin tingle even though my clothes. When we promenaded, his lips would dip to my shoulder, just grazing my skin, hinting at future delights and when we spun together, he pressed me tight enough against him that I could feel his arousal.

It seemed that I had awoken the beast in _him_.

I had no idea how long we danced for, I only know I was exhausted (and exceptionally turned on) by the time he escorted me back to our table.

I gulped down a glass of wine as quickly as I could.

"Why don't you just pee on me next time."

Fandral and Thor roared with laughter.

Of course Loki had a reply ready. "Not in public, darling." Which only caused more laughter.

I'm not sure if Loki planned it or it was a just a lucky happenstance, but I had hardly noticed anyone staring at me since our rather awkward entrance.

Of course that changed when Fandral asked me to dance. He was the perfect gentleman, which meant that I took more notice of my surroundings than I had with Loki and couldn't help but notice people staring.

I missed my old cloak so instead, I brushed my hair in front of my shoulders and carried on, just as I always have.

Thor claimed his dance next and by the time our dance was finished, Loki was dancing with Sif and I was feeling warm, so I headed out to the balcony to cool down a little, leaning against the balustrade as I looked out over the gardens.

"You must be Cara."

I turned to see Lady Dush standing beside me.

"Yes."

"I'm"

"I know who you are. We've met many times."

"But never been formally introduced." She leaned against the railing. "I should be angry with you, I've wasted a lot of time chasing someone who it turns out, wasn't available."

I didn't know how to reply to that, so I remained silent.

"I can certainly see why he's so taken with you, such exotic looks would catch anyone's eye."

I was pretty sure that was an insult, but I was used to outright hostility, not backhanded compliments, so again, I didn't know how to respond.

* * *

 **Loki**

One of the things I enjoy most about Cara is watching her so even when she was dancing with Fandral and Thor, she still had my full attention.

As I watched her lithe body twist and turn, I couldn't help but think that she had missed her calling as a dancer.

"Loki, if you do not look elsewhere soon, I shall think you horribly jealous," Volstagg stated.

"Not jealous, just enjoying the view," I smiled, but it really wasn't polite to stare, so I asked Sif if she would like to dance.

By the time we were finished, Cara had left the floor and I headed to the balcony, where I had seen her disappear to. She stood by the railing, Lady Dush standing next to her.

I knew how pointed Dush's tongue could be sometimes, so using an invisibility spell, I edged closer, needing to be sure Cara was all right, but also knowing that I couldn't simply ride to her rescue every time there was an issue, or she would never get used to life at court.

"I can certainly see why he's so taken with you, such exotic looks would catch anyone's eye."

Cara didn't reply and I prayed that the insult, veiled as it was, hadn't hurt her.

"As a word of warning though, Cara, don't get your hopes up. Princes have their fun with women like you, but they marry women like me."

Cara turned to her. "There are two princes in there, but I don't see either of them fawning over you."

"They're barely a thousand years old yet, they're still having their fun."

"So why are you telling me this?" Cara asked.

"Because, believe it or not, I like you and I don't want to see you hurt."

"You're lying, I can smell the deceit on you." Cara shook her head. "The truth is, the moment you decided to marry for status rather than love, you had no hope of securing Thor, and the moment you set your sights on Thor, you were doomed with Loki too. He doesn't want his brother's castoffs." Cara smiled sweetly.

"That doesn't alter the fact that he cannot marry a halfbreed like you!"

"You don't actually know Loki very well, do you?" Cara asked. "He _likes_ breaking rules. He also values things that are special and different. Ladies like you can be found everywhere, on every realm but as far as we know, I am the only being like me. All your money, your manners, and your breeding can't hold a candle to that."

"You don't deserve him!"

"And you do?" Cara asked. "Look around you. To you, this is normal, that is what you've always had and feel entitled to. For me, this is special, this is something I could never have hoped to be a part of and the idea that I can experience this and have a man like Loki care for me? I can still hardly believe my good fortune. I deserve him because I appreciate him and everything that being with him affords me, while you simply see it as your due."

"Fine, but don't come crying to be when this all ends in tears." Lady Dush turned on her heels and stormed inside.

"I never intended to," Cara called after her, and I watched as her expression crumbled now she was alone, and she looked out to the gardens again.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me, her back to my chest. She stiffened for a moment, until she realised it was me.

"Well said, darling."

"You heard that?" She sounded surprised as she turned her head to look over her shoulder at me.

"I needed to be sure she wasn't more than you could handle."

"I'm sorry if I said anything untoward."

"You didn't." I pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You handled that very well, darling, I'm only sorry you had to say anything."

She turned around and laid her head against my shoulder.

"It's all right, I didn't think that because your mother and brother had accepted me, everyone else would magically be okay with me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Loki. Besides, I've lived with this my whole life, I'm used to it."

"That doesn't mean you like it."

"True, but I _can_ handle it."

"Come dance with me, I'll make you forget everyone but me."

"Actually, would you mind if we went back to our room? I'm not really feeling much like partying."

"I don't mind, but we have to stay a little longer."

"Why?"

"Because people like Dush want to hurt you and if they know they've succeeded, even in a small way, they'll redouble their efforts. Never let people see you vulnerable."

"I'm used to running," she confessed. "I did try to talk to people, make them see that my father's sins aren't my own, but no one was interested in listening. It was easier to just keep my head down and stay out of their way."

"You're a prince's consort now, my love, hiding isn't really an option."

Cara nodded sadly. "You're right, of course you're right. It's just… This is all so new, I didn't expect any of this."

"I know. I also know that you are a brave and strong woman, and more than capable of rising to this challenge."

"I prefer the shadows," she said, looking down.

I brushed her hair back behind her shoulders. "A creature as beautiful and unique as you, was not born to hide in the shadows."

She swallowed down her misgivings, raised her eyes to mine and nodded.

I stood back and offered her my hand.

"Shall we?"

She took my hand.

* * *

 **Cara**

Loki entered our rooms to find me pacing in my jaguar form, my tail swishing with anxiety.

"Cara?"

I spared him a look but I couldn't stop walking.

"Mother told me you ran out of your meeting with her."

Around and around I walked. I didn't change back because I didn't know how to answer his questions.

"She said you seemed distressed, she's worried about you."

He came closer and noticed my muzzle.

"You've been crying. Has someone said something to you? Hurt you?"

I continued to pace anxiously around the spacious room. Loki was going to get a crick in his neck from watching me.

"Please, help me understand."

I changed back but continued pacing. "I can't do it, Loki! I can't be the princess you want me to be! Deportment lessons and etiquette lessons and learning matters of state and fancy gowns and diplomatic rules and seating charts and" I put my hands to my head and growled in frustration.

"Darling, you don't have to do any of that. You wanted to help with the visit from the Vanaheim delegates, remember? I expect nothing from you but to be yourself, the woman I fell in love with." Even that declaration wasn't enough to pull me out of this state.

"You don't understand!"

"Then help me!"

I turned my back on him and burst into tears, but I stopped moving long enough for Loki to pull me into his arms. He held me until my tears subsided, then he picked me up and sat in one of the chairs by the fire, settling me on his lap.

I was too emotionally tired to be angry or anxious any longer.

"Now, do you want to tell me what happened?"

I was silent for a long while but eventually found some words for him.

"We received a list of the delegates in the Vanaheim party today."

"And who is on that list that troubles you so?"

My words deserted me.

"King Dekheid, I assume?"

When I didn't deny it, he took that as an affirmative.

"And if the king is coming, we can assume his queen is too, then there's their..."

His words trailed off as he suddenly got a look of recognition.

"Their servants, his secretary and her lady in waiting. Your mother and stepfather."

"How can I face the woman who abandoned me?"

"You can and you will. She is a simple servant, my love, while you are a prince's consort, a member of the family in all but name. She gave you nothing and from that you have carved out a life and position of status for yourself."

"My position is bestowed upon me by you, Loki, I earned nothing."

"If you had not ventured out of that church and wandered for years to find a portal off Vanaheim, we would not have met. If you had not been as intelligent and wellread as you are, you might have captured my attention but you would not have kept it. And if you were not as kind and captivating as you are, you would not have bewitched my mother, brother and friends."

"But I can't meet her, Loki, not knowing that she gave me away."

"Now correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't realise you know her name, correct?"

"No, all children are given to the Church with the understanding of complete confidentiality." It was an old law, to save women who were terrified of being shamed from perhaps abandoning their child someplace it might come to harm before being found, or worse.

"What happens if a child wants to contact their parents? Or vice versa?"

"The church will write to the other party and if they don't agree to meet or be contacted, then it ends there."

"And you've never requested they contact your mother?"

"She didn't want me. I'd be damned if I would let her think I wanted her."

"Then this is perfect. She is a servant, hardly worthy of your attention, but you will captivate her, as you captivate everyone, and she cannot fail to recognise you."

"But…" I sighed. "I do have some sympathy for her plight. I don't want to rub her face in what she did." I snuggled into him, rubbing my cheek against his shoulder.

"You won't be. You will simply be doing your duty as a member of the House of Odin. If she has reason to regret her actions, that is not your fault, you had no say in what she did back then, just as you had no say in how you were conceived. You are blameless in this, Cara."

"I don't feel blameless."

"But you are. And while I think the safest thing to hope for is that she ignores you, as you ignore her, there is a chance she might want to know you. I don't expect that giving up a child is ever easy and it may be that she didn't want to. Perhaps her family or husband demanded it. Even if it was her choice, perhaps she has regretted it ever since."

I rose up and looked at him. "Do you really think so?"

"I said there is a _chance_. I would not wager that this reunion will end well and I would be remiss if I told you to expect the best, but it would also be thoughtless not to remind you of the possibility of a reunion."

I nodded. He was right, as nice as the reunion I had dreamed of in my childhood would be, those dreams had already been dashed once and I didn't dare start dreaming again.

"Now, since it's still early, how do you fancy a race around in the lake?"

"Only if I can cool off afterwards by jumping in. Can I still do that, now that people know I'm a person, not a jaguar?"

"Of course. I know you're spending more time as a person to help mother, but you're free to assume whatever form you want, whenever you want." He kissed me gently. "It would be a sad day indeed if we never saw Cara the cat any longer."

So we raced around the lake in the palace gardens, me using my advantage as a jaguar and Loki using his advantage as a sorcerer. Loki is a natural athlete but even he can't keep up with me, not without teleporting ahead every now and again.

Instead of completing the lap though, I decided to jump in and swim back. Most cats don't like swimming but jaguars are an exception, and with my huge paws, I was fast and even with his magic, Loki couldn't beat me. I climbed onto the shore and waited for him to catch up.

"You cheated," he told me, pointing an accusing finger.

I replied by shaking the water out of my coat, spraying it all over Loki.

"Why you"

I took off back to the palace before he could finish that thought, with Loki hot on my heels, yelling that he was going to make me pay.

I skidded through the palace, narrowly avoiding a few collisions but as I approached our room, I heard Loki's footfalls vanish and I knew he had teleported into the room. I had to pause to open the handle but as soon as I had, I leapt into the room, transforming as I flew through the air. Loki was exactly where I expected him to be, triumphantly facing the door. My pounce took him aback and he only just managed to catch me.

I kissed him passionately, and one of Loki's hands left my back for a second and I heard the door slam, thanks to his magic.

His hands roamed my body, looking for a way to my flesh as he staggered through to the bedroom with me.

"This was easier," he said in between kisses, "when you never wore clothes."

"Quit whining and fuck me."

"Gladly, my lady."

I was tearing at his clothes while he did the same to mine, unfortunately, both our garments were rather well made so Loki opted to magic them away, and they disappeared in a green shimmer.

"That's cheating!" I cried.

"That makes us even." He licked his lips. "Now there's just the small matter of you drenching me with water."

"Are you going to make me pay?"

"Oh yes," he smirked. "But I promise you'll enjoy it."

"Doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on you," I said as I scratched my fingers down his back.

He smirked at me and caught my wrists, pinning them to the bed, either side of my head.

His dick was running the length of my slit as we spoke, easily parting my lips as I was more than ready for him.

"You're not going to hold a little thing like getting you wet against me, are you?"

"Actually," he angled his hips to his next thrust pushed his length inside me. "I was planning on fucking you until you're begging me to make you come."

"I'll never beg!" I knew I'd beg, but I was damned if I was going to give in easily.

"We'll see, lover, we'll see," he smirked. Cocky bastard!

He set a punishing pace that almost had me begging from the moment he started, but I managed to hold out for a while, right up until the moment he brought my hands together and secured them above my head in one hand, freeing his other one up to rub my clit.

I cried and screamed and keened for release, but he wouldn't give it to me until I apologised.

"I'm sorry I drenched you! Please let me come!" I wailed. "Please."

He either took pity on me, or was close himself as he increased the friction on my nub just enough to push me into my orgasm. I could feel my sheath shuddering around his length as my climax rippled through me in waves, and he was only able to hold out for a few more moments until his face tightened, almost as if he was in pain, and I felt his seed spill into me.

He collapsed on top of me and we both lay there, panting and sweat soaked. He released my hands and I wrapped him in my embrace.

After our earlier run and that rather incredible fuck, we were both so tired that we soon fell asleep in that position, with his length softening but still inside me.

When I awoke an hour or so later, I could see that it was nearly dark and we were supposed to have dinner with Frigga tonight. I could still feel his length inside me so I tried contracting my cunt muscles, just to see if I could get him hard and it wasn't very long until his arousal began to wake him.

He began to leisurely slide his length in and out.

"I think I want to wake up this way every day," he murmured still half asleep.

"I can't think of a single objection to that."


	11. Chapter 11

I don't know why I'm still bothering to post this, so this will be the last update.

 **Part Eleven**

 **Cara**

I had been lucky enough to avoid Odin most of the time and when we did cross paths, I was polite while he was civil.

That nice distance was about to change with the arrival of the Vanaheim delegation, and the week of events that Frigga and I had planned. Of course, just because I had to see him often, didn't mean that I had to interact with him, and I planned to ignore him except for times when it would be impolite to do so.

Currently we were waiting at the bifrost observatory for the party to arrive, but Odin wasn't here, we wouldn't see him until this evening's banquet.

Frigga, Loki and I were in attendance and Frigga took the lead and stepped forward once the Vanir stepped out of the bifrost.

"King Dekheid," she stepped forward and greeted the king, then turned to his wife, "Queen Sharlot, welcome to Asgard."

"Thank you for inviting us," Dekheid grinned, clearly looking forward to his holiday.

As well as guards, they had brought five servants with them, which seemed a little excessive for just two people and unfortunately for me, they included both my stepfather, Hol, the King's secretary and Beute, my mother, the queen's lady in waiting.

"You already know my son, Loki, and this is his intended, Cara," Frigga introduced.

I noticed my mother staring at me but I didn't return her look. Given the Jotun ridges on my non Jotun skin, it would be impossible for her not to recognise me, even if she hadn't seen me since I was a baby.

Once introduced, I bowed slightly as Dekheid and Sharlot both said "Very pleased to meet you," at the same time.

"And you," I said, rising from my curtsey and trying for a serene smile. "We have carriages ready to take you to the Palace, if you'll follow me."

The king and queen weren't very close, so they had separate rooms at the palace and we had arranged separate carriages for them. Dekheid and Frigga rode in one carriage, with his valet and a guard, while Sharlot, Loki and I rode in the second with Beute and a guard. The remainder of the servants and the luggage took the third carriage and it went ahead of us, so their things could be taken to their room, while we were free to enjoy the scenery.

At least, that was the idea, in reality it took all of my concentration just to keep my eyes off Beute, who was still staring at me. Mind you, so was Sharlot.

"You're not Aesir, are you?" The queen asked.

"No, ma'am, actually I am half Vanir and half Jotun."

"I thought so, with those markings. What did you say your name was?"

"Cara," I answered.

The queen narrowed her eyes at me and it was all I could do to keep my face impassive. I wondered if she knew about my birth. How long had my mother worked for Sharlot?

"We have many events planned during your stay." I plastered a polite smile on my face as I began to explain what was happening and Loki reached out and took my hand, squeezing it encouragingly. I found a genuine smile for him.

If I had hoped to distract the queen from my heritage, I was sadly mistaken.

"And how did you come to meet Prince Loki?" Sharlot asked.

In Vanaheim. I had preferred Sharlot to her husband but now that she was interrogating me, I was inclined to like her a lot less.

"I met him in the forest around the city," I answered.

"And how did you come to be in Asgard?"

"There was not much of a future for me in Vanaheim, so I came to this realm perhaps ten years ago. I spent most of my time here travelling and was intending to move on to another region soon, when I met Loki."

Sharlot pursed her lips, probably trying to find a polite way to ask something insulting.

"How long have you been together?"

"Three years," Loki replied.

"And who are your family on Vanaheim?" Sharlot demanded, her tone growing less polite and more demanding.

"I was raised by the church," I smiled.

"That's rather unusual, isn't it? A woman of no standing becoming a prince's consort?"

"Cara is rather unusual," Loki smiled at me. "In fact I might go so far as to call her unique."

"And how have you found the adjustment to the life of the nobility?"

"Cara is not idle," Loki answered for me. "She may not have a family name but she is one of our fiercest warriors. She has single-handedly saved the lives of myself, my brother and even Odin."

He didn't mention that they were all at the same time, and more as a result of my shapeshifting ability than my fighting prowess, but I didn't correct him.

"Well, you've certainly… landed on your feet."

"I've been very lucky." I squeezed Loki's hand, wanting him to know that I meant it.

Luckily the coach pulled up at the palace, effectively halting my interrogation for now, and as we escorted the queen to her quarters, Loki explained the palace procedures, should she or her servants require anything during their stay.

As we left the queen's rooms, Frigga was coming from a room down the hallway, where she had just settled the king in.

"How was that?" Frigga asked as she approached. Because I wasn't supposed to know my mother's identity, we had decided to keep that knowledge from Frigga, thinking it would be easier to believe my indifference if I had to hide my knowledge from everyone.

"I think it went well," I gave a relieved smile.

"The queen was very interested in Cara being from Vanaheim," Loki added. "She questioned her to the point of rudeness, in fact."

"Oh dear, I hope that wasn't uncomfortable for you?" Frigga looked to me, concern evident on her face.

"Nothing I couldn't handle." I assured her.

"Good." We began walking towards our own wing. "Would you care to take tea with me before we prepare for this evening?"

"I-"

My words were cut off as the Queen's door opened and Beute came out, seeming surprised to see us still there.

"Is everything all right?" Frigga asked.

"Oh, yes. I was just going to see my husband."

Frigga smiled at her and we continued on our way.

* * *

That evening's banquet was rather a chore. We were seated at the top table, Loki and I seated next to King Dekheid, Odin and Frigga in the middle, and Thor next to the Queen at the other end of the table. I would much rather have sat with the warriors but Loki wouldn't hear of it.

"I have not seen your cat since we arrived," Dekheid said as we ate.

"I can assure you that you have." Loki smirked.

"Oh?"

"She's here tonight, in fact."

Dekheid looked around but was unable to spot the jaguar. I was just amazed he hadn't realised the jaguar and I had the same name, but then he didn't strike me as the kind of man to pay attention to such details about his guests.

"You'll see her tomorrow at the training grounds too," Loki added.

"Oh, is there a display?"

"No, just a tour of our training facilities, but Thor and I train every day."

The dinner was seven courses, three of which were Vanir dishes and there was a choice of Aesir and Vanir beverages to choose from.

Luckily the banquet ended relatively early as Frigga wanted her guests to have a chance to settle in before throwing more raucous parties.

"How was that?" Loki asked as we entered out quarters. I had been quiet all night, so I wasn't surprised he was concerned.

"All right," I answered. "It'll get easier each day."

"And how do you feel?"

"All right, I think."

"Cara-"

"Loki," I cut him off. "It's not that I'm trying to shut you out, but I don't know how I feel right now. Please, just give me some space to… be."

"Of course," he smiled, approaching me and wrapping me in his embrace. "Just promise you'll come to me if you need me?"

"I will"

* * *

 **Loki**

While Cara and I trained against Hogun and Volstagg, I was aware that Odin and Frigga were showing Dekheid and Sharlot around, and Cara's mother and stepfather were accompanying them.

I noticed Cara determinedly look away after she first spotted them, and she had kept her back to the visitors ever since.

Cara was a skilled fighter now, easily as strong or stronger than most warriors and, especially in her feline form, able to dance around her opponents, skipping over or under their weapons with ease as she looked for a chance to strike.

We had practiced with her dragon form a few times, since it now seemed obvious there were circumstances where a dragon could be helpful, but she generally preferred to train as a jaguar. It was her favourite animal form and one she had been using almost exclusively for 20 years before she met me.

We made a good team, able to predict each other and one of our favourite tactics was to switch partners half way through a fight, as it surprised our opponents and caught them off guard. Volstagg and Hogun were used to the tactic but as I bent over, allowing Cara to use my back as a platform to leap off of and onto my opponent, Hogun, she easily took him down to the dirt. At the same time, I let loose a dagger towards Volstagg, who had been expecting the next blow to come from Cara, so wasn't protecting his left side, where my dagger landed. It was pretty blunt for training though, so it simply embedded itself in the padding between armour plates.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed, pulling the dagger out and knowing he'd lost the match. "Good bout," he said, holding a hand out towards me.

Hogun got to his feet also and echoed Volstagg's words.

"Amazing," Dekheid said, approaching our training arena. "I would never have believed a beast could be so useful in battle."

I removed Cara's armour with my magic and she turned back into her female form, wearing the casual clothes she had donned this morning.

"Not an animal," she said, enjoying the look of surprise on Dekheid's face. "Taking a dumb animal into battle is cruel. A shapeshifter on the other hand, can be very useful."

The whole party looked shocked and Beute had her hand over her mouth, although Cara studiously ignored her.

"Marvellous!" Dekheid declared. "Why did you not let us know you were a shapeshifter when you and Loki visited Vanaheim?"

"As much as I wanted to see my home once more, I didn't feel like enduring the prejudice I grew up with."

"Prejudice?" he sounded shocked. "Surely one so pretty as yourself faced no prejudice?"

Cara blinked but that was the only indication of shock at his reaction that she gave. "I have read thousands of books in my lifetime, am educated far beyond normal requirements and I can read nine languages, yet the only job I could find on Vanaheim was working as a cleaner for the church which raised me."

It wasn't said with any malice but the implication was clear.

Odin watched her closely as Dekheid tried to laugh off her claims.

"I'm sure it was nothing so ugly as prejudice. Why the Vanir are an enlightened race, and should you ever feel like returning to us, my dear, I can promise you a position with prestige and honour."

"Thank you, Your Highness, but I am very happy where I am." She slipped her hand into mine.

"So I see," he answered with a salacious look. I had a nasty feeling that Dekheid was going to try and tempt her away from me with the offer of sex, as if that was all that was between Cara and myself.

I was really starting to loathe that man.

Odin surprised me then, stepping closer. "Cara has proved herself a brave and noble warrior, we would not give her up without a fight."

Cara looked shocked for a moment but quickly covered it, and Frigga beamed at us both, clearly pleased with this turn of events.

"Of course," Dekheid smiled, but I had an uneasy feeling.

"Shall we venture on to the armourer?" Frigga asked.

"Yes, that sounds interesting," Sharlot answered. "Please, lead on."

I watched as the party moved away, noticing that Beute looked back over her shoulder at us. I reached down to stroke Cara's head, who had changed back into a cat as soon as they had turned away, but she was watching, her sapphire blue eyes unblinking.

"Come on, love, let's get some water and watch Sif show Thor how it's done."

She chuffed in agreement and we turned away.

* * *

 **Cara**

I was reading on our terrace which led off the bedroom, when Mamalin came out.

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but King Dekheid is here asking to see you."

"Where is Loki?" I asked, looking up.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since this morning."

I couldn't fathom what he could want with me, but it would be impolite to ignore him.

"Show him into Loki's study, would you, I'll be there in a moment."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She rushed back inside while placed a bookmark in the tome I was reading, then pulled on my vest jacket and headed for the door.

I heard voices in the hallway outside.

"No, no, I'm sure she won't mind, just in here, is she?"

Then Dekheid burst in, favouring me with his smarmiest smile.

"I believe I asked for you to be shown to the study."

"Oh my dear, we do not need to stand on such ceremony! I am your King."

"All the more reason to stand on ceremony and besides, Odin is my king, I have sworn my allegiance to his house."

He waved my concerns away and stepped around me, taking in the features of my bedroom. I turned back to the door to see Mamalin standing there, shocked.

I mouthed 'Find Loki,' and she nodded her understanding and left, leaving the doors open.

"What lovely quarters you share," he said. "So well appointed. One might almost think these the rooms of a prince, not a warrior."

"They are," I said, stiffening my back. "These were Prince Loki's rooms. Now they are _our_ rooms."

"Ah," he turned and flashed me a knowing smile. "I wonder what will happen to you when you and

Loki separate. I somehow doubt Odin will hold you in such esteem then."

"What makes you think Loki and I will separate?" I was offended at the implication.

"Well you have known each other three years have you not? And he had yet to propose? Seems rather… unusual to me."

"Our courtship was unconventional." I didn't say that his father had only known about my being a shapeshifter for a few months.

"Oh yes, yes I'm sure." He looked concerned. "But, well, you know that princes marry to forge new connections and political affiliations. As much as I like you, Cara, I'm afraid that you can offer him none of that."

I knew I shouldn't believe him, that his words were designed to undermine my confidence, but everything he said was true.

"I fail to see how any of this is your business?" I bristled.

"I am merely looking out for your well being, as is my duty as King."

"Well I thank you for your concern, but I have always done well enough on my own. I see no reason for that to change."

He turned his gaze away from the lavish appointments of Loki's room and onto me, taking a step closer.

"I could be very good to a woman like you," he said, sauntering closer.

Although I was tempted to back away, my animal instincts kicked in and I stayed where I was, albeit with my knees slightly bent, ready for confrontation. I was not ceding my territory to this sleaze.

"What do you mean, a 'woman like me'?"

"You know." He stood beside me and ran one singer down my arm. I was glad I'd put my jacket on as my tunic was sleeveless. "I'll bet you're an _animal_ in bed."

I rounded on him and he took a step back. "How I am, or am not, in the bedroom is none of your business. Now please leave."

"Oh, come now, precious, surely you can't be offended? You're a beautiful woman, and after watching you fighting this morning, I was intrigued. Can you blame me?"

"Please leave my rooms before I have to call the guards and have you thrown out. I don't think either of us wants to cause an inter-realm war, do we?"

"You think Odin will go to war for you?" he laughed. "Oh my dear girl, I am a king, no one will protect you from me." he stepped closer once more, probably sensing my hesitation. "I just want to be your friend, my dear."

He had the temerity to lean into me, as though for a kiss.

"I don't think you got to see the full extent of my shapeshifting gift this morning."

My words halted his progress for a moment and he looked hesitant. I pressed my advantage, stepping towards him.

"A jaguar is my favourite animal, but far from the only one. I'm also very fond of dragons. Of course I'm thirty feet tall with a wingspan of twice that, so it makes getting around the castle a little difficult, but it is exceptionally easy to eat very large meals in that form." He was backing away from me now and I was gently herding him towards the door. "Barbequed or raw, I'm not too fussy, but I prefer barbecued when I'm a dragon."

He backed into something and stopped. I looked over his shoulder and smirked at Loki.

"Is King Dekheid enjoying your tutorial on shapeshifting?" Loki asked with faux pleasantness.

"Oh yes, I think he's found our chat very educational, haven't you, Your Highness?"

He stepped out from between us, looking decidedly green. He did his best to stand upright but he couldn't meet our eyes.

"If you'll excuse me." He all but ran away from us, unfortunately he was heading towards Loki's study, not the living room, where the entrance to the suite could be found.

Loki put his arm around my shoulders and we stood in the bedroom doorway, smiling sweetly as Dekheid retraced his steps, jogging past us.

Loki wanted until we heard the door slam then rounded on me, grabbing my shoulders. For a second I thought he might be angry, he was so rough, but I saw only concern on his features.

"Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

"No," I assured him. "He just made me feel like I need a bath."

Loki smirked. "I'm really not at all sure you can be trusted to do that alone."

"You don't think I can wash myself?" I pretended to be outraged.

"I really think you may be a little too distraught to do it properly."

"Because it's such a difficult chore."

"No, but there is a lot to remember, two forearms, two upper arms, two shoulders. What If you forgot one buttock?"

"One buttock that's already submerged in water?"

"Yes," he insisted. "It would scandalise the whole of Asgard." He turned me around and pushed me in front of him, towards our bathroom. "Much better to just let me help you, darling, and avoid that risk."

"Something tells me this is going to be the longest bath of my life."

"Oh, of course. And," he leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I can hold my breath for an exceptionally long time."

* * *

 **Loki**

As we dressed for dinner that night, I fretted over Cara but she assured me she was fine.

Whilst I couldn't blame him for his taste, I now had a real reason to dislike Dekheid, and I didn't believe for a second that this was just about liking Cara. He had an agenda here, I just wasn't sure what it was. It could be as simple as wounded pride in that Odin had a unique Vanir, and Dekheid would really rather show her off himself, but I couldn't be sure.

Cara looked resplendent this evening, wearing a floor length blue and silver gown, with a full skirt, pinched waist and long, full sleeves, which would fan out as she danced. I had no doubt Dekheid would ask for a dance so I had to play things very carefully this evening.

"Are you nearly ready?" I asked, checking my armour one last time.

"You go ahead," she smiled at me.

I looked sceptical.

"I'll be fine, honestly, I just want to make an entrance that Dekheid won't forget in a hurry.

I could tell from her tone that she didn't mean it in the way most women would, of wanting to make a good impression, but I couldn't fathom what she did mean.

"Go," she said before I could ask, pushing me towards the bedroom door.

It wasn't that I didn't trust her to handle herself, it was more that she shouldn't have to, but she seemed certain so I left her there and made my way to the largest ballroom. Tonight almost everyone in Asgard had been invited, and all the dining halls throughout the palace had been opened to accommodate them. Obviously the nobility all wanted into the largest room, where Odin and Dekheid would be, but there were no strict barriers keeping anyone out and aside from the top table, which was reserved for the royal families, it was case of first come first served.

I arrived and greeted Frigga with a kiss on her cheek and she immediately asked about Cara.

"She had a bit of trouble with Dekheid earlier."

"Oh?"

"Yes. He accosted her in our bedroom and made a rather crude pass at her while I was away."

"Is she all right?"

"She seems to be. She will be here, but she insisted on coming on her own. She said she wanted to make an entrance."

Frigga frowned slightly at that last part.

"I don't know what she meant either," I assured her. "And I know she is a solitary creature at times, but do try and make sure she isn't left alone with Dekheid."

"I will, but what about when she's alone in your rooms?"

"Mamalin is under strict orders to notify me immediately, I gave her a charm she could use to summon me, and I've placed protective wards on the private rooms of our quarters, no one but myself, Cara, and Mamalin may enter them without permission."

"Very prudent," Frigga smiled. "I do hope this hasn't knocked her confidence. It can be somewhat fragile."

I nodded in agreement. "But she seems more angry than anything. I have no idea what she has planned for this evening, but she had that wicked glint in her eye when she shooed me out of the room."

"I think that glint you accuse her of having, might be your own reflection," she teased me.

I gasped. "Mother! How could you say such a thing to me? I'm horribly offended!"

Frigga laughed and took my arm as we headed deeper into the hall.

We hadn't taken six paces when gasps by the pillars caught our attention, and people began heading out onto the terrace.

Frigga and I shared a look, then made out way out there ourselves.

Everyone was captivated by a sight in the sky, pointing and whispering about it, a few slightly worried.

I smiled.

"What do you know?" Frigga asked me.

I leaned down so we wouldn't be overheard.

"When I got back to our room earlier, I was just in time to hear Cara threaten Dekheid with turning into a dragon and eating him, preferably barbequed. I believe she's showing him that she was totally serious."

As it circled the palace grounds, the dragon let out huge plumes of fire into the skies above Asgard, a very effective display of power but harmless so high above the ground.

"That's why she drank so much juice this afternoon."

"Pardon?" Frigga turned to me briefly, but soon turned her gaze back to the midnight black dragon.

"Cara drank a lot of fruit juice, three pitchers in fact. I thought it might be some kind of shock reaction, now I see that she was storing up the energy for this."

I looked over to Dekheid, who looked fascinated yet slightly appalled by the display.

Suddenly the dragon turned and dived at our terrace. People scattered, but at the last minute she put out her wings to slow the descent and landed in the cleared space. I went over to greet her as she walked forward, shrinking each second until she resumed her normal appearance, her stunning outfit appearing just as wonderful as it had looked in our rooms earlier.

"Darling," I kissed her cheek. "That certainly won't be forgotten in a hurry."

"Let's hope it's enough to dampen down Dekheid's libido."

"I'm sure it will be. Drink?"

"Fruit juice, please. A change into something that big really takes it out of me."

I offered her my elbow and as we entered the ballroom, I turned to Dekheid and smiled pleasantly. I think he had got her message loud and clear.

* * *

 **Cara**

This week had been manic and it was starting to get to me. I'm a solitary creature at heart, and the only reason I can be around Loki is because he knows how to entertain himself, he's quite happy to relax and spend the evening reading a book, hardly talking at all.

Between training, attending the events and helping Frigga to organise them, I'd had very little time for myself over the last four days.

I had to admit, I was pleased with myself though. I thought that this was probably about as busy as being a prince's consort was likely to be so if I could handle this, I could handle anything.

There was also a part of me that was glad I didn't have much time to think, because in the few quiet times I'd had, Dekheid's words kept playing over and over in my head. Not his offer, it was his comments about Loki and how, if after three years Loki hadn't asked me to marry him, he wasn't going to.

It was crazy, I wasn't even wanting to get married, in fact I'd probably run a mile if Loki did ask. It was far too soon for that because even although we had been together a while, I had not lived as his consort for any time at all.

But Dekheid had planted a seed of doubt that refused to die.

It was those thoughts distracting me as I looked over the seating chart, making last minute adjustments for the arguments that had broken out last night, so the same parties were seated well away from each other this evening.

"Ma'am?" Mamalin had to tug on my sleeve before I heard her and looked up.

"Yes?"

She pointed over to the doorway, where Beute stood. "She asked to see you, said it was important and wouldn't tell me what it was about."

Well that was unexpected. I had seen her around, of course, but I hadn't interacted with her at all.

I looked back to the seating chart and made the final swap, then handed it to Mamalin. "Please ensure Frigga gets that."

"And the woman?"

"I'll deal with her. Thank you."

She curtseyed and ran off with the list.

I had been looking forward to a few hours alone, hoping I had time to change and go for a run with Loki in the forest, but it looked like those plans might have to wait.

I plastered a false smile on my face as I approached.

"Beute Horsdottar, isn't it?"

"Oh, uh, yes, my lady, yes, that's me." She seemed incredibly skittish.

"Is something wrong with your mistress?"

"Oh no, the Queen is well, I wanted to… well… you see, I was wondering if I might speak with you, in private."

I suddenly had the sensation of butterflies in my stomach, but I couldn't tell if it was from excitement or anxiety. I suspected the latter as I felt rather queasy.

"How about a walk in the Queen's gardens? They're usually unattended at this time of day."

"Oh, yes. Yes that sounds… nice."

We walked through the halls side by side but silently, and with each passing second my anxiety grew.

We finally reached the outside and walked through the beautifully manicured gardens and when Beute didn't begin to talk, I had to fill the silence.

"The queen keeps this off limits to all but a few groundskeepers because she has species from across all the nine realms in here, some exceptionally hard to cultivate. There's one for example, that dies off if there is too much loud noise." Beute didn't reply. "I don't know if that's true, I'm better with living creatures than with plants, but it does have the advantage of keeping this section of the gardens nice and private."

We were approaching a stone bench and I sat down, gesturing for Beute to do the same when it became clear that she wasn't going to sit of her own volition.

"So what can I help you with?" I asked, looking out over the gardens, rather than directly at her.

The pause lasted so long, I began to think I might throw up from nerves.

"I'm afraid I have a confession to make," she admitted, her voice soft but not hesitant as it had been before.

"Oh?"

"The thing is… I once had a daughter named Cara."

"Really?"

"Yes. She was, um, half Jotun."

My body froze and I had to swallow before I could speak.

"And what happened to your daughter?"

"I gave her away," she whispered.

I felt as though my body had turned to stone and my flesh was heavy, cold and unfeeling. I had no idea what to say to her, so I said the only thing that came to mind.

"I know."

"You knew about me?"

She turned to look at me but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"I broke into my records once. When you met Loki on Vanaheim, I recognised your name."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"You gave me away. I wasn't going to beg you to take me back." I blinked away tears.

"I didn't want to give you away," she insisted, her voice louder than it had been previously. "You see, the… union that you came from wasn't exactly…"

"I know you were raped," I admitted. "The Grand Master at the orphanage that raised me didn't know I knew your name, so when I came and asked about why I was the only half Jotun, she explained your story in very vague terms. She didn't think we would ever meet."

"So you understood why I had to, then."

I sighed. "Honestly? I veer between sympathising with you, and wondering why I, an innocent in this, was the one to pay the price. My father presumably went home and got on with his life, you gave me away and got on with your life, and then there was me, the little half Jotun girl, with no possessions, no family name, no clothes that weren't second or third hand, even our toys were communal. As I grew older and began interacting more with the people outside the church, it became clear that I couldn't have anything, not even a job or a career. I was marked by someone else's sin and doomed to pay or it forever. So yes, in those times, I do wonder why you hated me so very much that you handed me over to total strangers."

She began to cry but I forced my tears back.

"Mostly though, I just wanted to know why."

"I couldn't keep you." She sobbed. "I worked at the palace and it was made very clear to me that I could not continue to work there with a half Jotun child."

"There were other jobs."

"None that would take me with a Jotun child."

"So you left me to face the world alone, while you hid from your past."

"No, it wasn't like that!"

It sounded 'like that' but if I kept accusing her, letting my pain dominate my emotions, I might never know the truth, so I remained silent.

"I was already married, you see, and Jamer was just a young boy. I couldn't let him be taint-"

"You can say it. You couldn't let him be tainted by association with me."

"Hol also said it was best all round. He said that I would keep reliving the ordeal if I kept you, I'd never be free of it, and that Jamer would be bullied, and that we would never rise up the ranks at the palace. Even he would have lost his job if I'd kept you. I didn't want to but I thought it was the best thing to do for everyone."

Everyone except me.

"I always assumed you came from out of the villages on the outskirts of the realm, the ones that sometimes get raided but if you worked at the castle, how did you encounter a Jotun?"

"I don't know, exactly." She bowed her head. "It was night time and I was just a maid then, but Hol was summoned from his bed to tend to prince Dekheid. I awoke too and decided to go down to the kitchen and make some hot milk for us. I encountered him on my way down. They broke in somehow, looking to steal something, people said, but the story was hushed up; the royals didn't want everyone to know the castle was vulnerable, so I never got any firm details.

"Everyone else was in bed, I didn't even see any guards, but I suppose they were away protecting whatever it was the Jotun tried to steal."

"Was there more than one?" I asked, my voice hardly a whisper.

"No, just the one. I don't know where the others were, perhaps they were caught."

"And what happened to the one you met?"

"I don't know." She was silent for a few minutes and dabbed at her eyes.

"When Hol found me, he took me to the prince, since he was the only other one awake. The prince told me to tell no one what had happened and paid for me and Hol and Jammer to live in a village a few hundred miles away. He told me to have the baby- to have _you_ , then give you to an orphanage to raise. Once I had done that, we could return to the palace."

There was a lot about her story that didn't make much sense but I was too hurt to pick holes in it right now.

"So why have you come to me?" I asked.

"I… well, I was hoping that we could be… friends. That maybe you'd like to visit us on Vanaheim and meet your brothers and sisters."

"Plural," I said, my own tears finally falling.

"Um, yes, we had two daughters after… and another son."

"Do they know about me?"

"No. Jamer was too young to remember."

"And you didn't tell the others."

"Well, no."

This was my childhood dream coming true, almost, but I wasn't sure if this was my dream any longer.

"You could come back with us when we leave?" she suggested. "Meet your siblings and see our home."

"I think it might be a little soon for that." In fact the idea terrified me, what if they rejected me too? "Why now?" I asked.

"I don't understand."

"You've known about me for the past 157 years, you could have written to the orphanage at any time and asked them to put you in touch with me, but you didn't. So why now, what changed?"

"I don't know."

"I suppose, out of sight, out of mind. Seeing you now though, how well you've done for yourself, I can't help but… but wonder what else I missed out on."

I was silent as I mulled everything over, looking out over the gardens and hoping that some of the tranquil I saw would rub off on me.

"I would really love it if you would come back with us. You could bring Loki if you wanted."

"Please," I needed her to stop and I turned to her for the first time since we sat down. "I appreciate the sentiment and whilst there is a part of me that would love to get to know you and the rest of my family, I cannot do so this quickly. I don't trust easily and I will not journey to another realm, just for my existence to be sprung onto my siblings in the hope that they might accept me."

"You hate me." She looked crushed and that really wasn't my intention.

"Please be assured, I bear you no enmity at all and as angry as I sometimes feel, I don't blame you, you are another victim in this awful situation but… neither do I know you. I should very much like to get to know you but perhaps we could start slowly, with letters."

"You won't return with us?"

She seemed set on my returning now.

"Please, Cara, the King has given his word that you will be looked after and cared for in Vanaheim, you will want for nothing and receive the respect you deserve, the same respect you have here, just come home."

"You spoke to the king of this?" I asked. That nugget of information had made it through my tangle of emotions.

"I…" she looked nervous, was she afraid of how I would react. "I I couldn't ask you to return without his permission."

"Vanaheim is my home and unless I have been banished without my knowledge, I don't need the King's permission to return there."

"I had to ask, he was the one who made us give you away "

"And if he had refused, you would bow to his will once again?"

"I…"

"The king is a self-aggrandising idiot and I would not seek his opinion on the weather, let alone how to reconcile with a lost child."

She looked appalled but I couldn't tell why.

"Did he put you up to this?" I asked, fairly appalled myself and when she didn't answer, I felt sick. "He did, didn't he?"

I looked away, choking down the sobs that threatened to escape, speaking only once I had them under control.

"You can tell your king that I am no more inclined to return as your daughter, than I was as his whore. Good day, madam."

I transformed into my feline form and sprinted back to the castle, tears streaming from my eyes as I ran.


	12. Chapter 12

Since there was very little interest in this story as fanfiction, I published it instead.

You can now find the whole book on Amazon, title "Gods and Monsters: The Adventures of Loki and Cara" by Catherine Winchester. It's free to Kindle Unlimited users.

Synopsis: A reimagining of the story of Loki, the trickster God.

In the forests around Asgard, Loki happens upon a shapeshifter named Cara, an orphaned, half-Jotun outcast from the Vanir, who lives in hiding, wandering the realms alone.

Loki is drawn to her and disguised as an animal, he brings her into the palace as his familiar, but discovery will mean banishment, possibly even death.

The palace of Asgard is brimming with secrets though, and Cara's presence threatens to uncover truths which risks not only their happiness, but that could rip Loki's very identity away from him.

Spanning 4 realms, Gods and Monsters is an epic story with family at its heart.


	13. Chapter 13

This book is free on Amazon until tomorrow night (Sunday 2nd Aug).

I can't include a link but the ASIN (unique amazon code you can search by) is B011SH2RKO.

If you don't have a kindle, amazon do free kindle apps for almost all electronic devices.

Enjoy!

-xxx-

To all those who feel the need to school me on copyright (because, you know, it's not writing is my profession and I'm informed on things such as copyright) contrary to your belief, Marvel actually don't own the rights to Loki, they only have copyright on a few very specific additions they have made to his character. You'd probably be surprised by how little about him is original. Any Marvel original characters, such as the warriors 3, have been removed from the narrative and/or replaced in the published novel.

So thank you for trying to ehedumacate me on copyright, but kindly fuck off.


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